People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Monday, January 4, 2010

On Second Thought...

So, potential #2 has quickly become Mr. Jerkface (I know, I sound 2 but I was trying to keep it appropriate!) and has lost any chances he had with this fine piece of woman! My instincts about him were more than correct, let’s just say that. Thankfully, I never actually hooked up with him to see what he might pull. There is a lesson here to be learned though and I think that it’s important for every girl to know. I will get to that after I tell you what happened.

So…he got my number and then texted me in the middle of the night. He said, “Hey, U still up??” I received it at 2 in the morning so I did not respond. At a more reasonable hour I told him that I guessed I wasn’t. Anyway, later I decided to text and ask if it was him…being that he did not identify himself previously. He laughed and confirmed that it was indeed him. So I replied with, “thanks for identifying yourself in the middle of the night. I thought I had a stalker.” He proceeded to ask me what I was doing. I was honest and told him that I was making brownies and asked what he was doing. Then, the inappropriate responses began. He wanted to get together with me that night and make out and other things of that nature. I will not go into details because it makes me want to throw up. I responded with, “does this work with a lot of girls you talk to online?” He says, “lol, I’m not always super forward. I figured u could handle it since ur kinda forward too.” Are you kidding me?? Emailing him is forward? Okay whatever you want to think bro. I let him know that I am forward in a good way. He asked if there was a bad. I said, “it’s good to be confidant in yourself…forward in a dirty way, not really my thing bud.” THEN…he responded with, “well cutie, nothing wrong with (what he wanted to do) ya?” Ewww

Okay, lesson #1: I am worth more than that and deserve to be respected! I have so many things to offer a man that don’t involve my hot body! I’m not sayin a little make out doesn’t sound appealing but not at the expense of my self- respect. I am a smart woman with many talents and I deserve to be loved and appreciated for those…along with my hot bod!

Lesson #2: It is okay to stand up for yourself and demand the respect you deserve in situations such as these. This guy is the typical manipulative man whore (sorry about the language, maybe I should have put a parental warning on here!) who thinks that he has the right to be disrespectful to me and then…then, when I call him out on it, he tries to turn it on me and make it my fault. Let’s be clear here. I did not in any way say anything inappropriate to him. He turned everything I said into something it was not. I do not have to put up with that.

Lesson #3: Walk away! Sure my goal is to date 4o men, which is a lot of dating for one year. Sure I feel somewhat pressed for time. Dating pervs in the process is not my goal however. These men are not just a number for me. They are my potential future and if I don’t see that in them, there is no point in continuing any kind of relationship with them.

Lesson #4: Trust your feelings. He made me feel like crap about myself, not good. I felt like crying when he was talking to me which I’m pretty sure is not how you’re supposed to feel. I can’t help but compare that to how great I felt on my date with Gentleman #1 when he treated me like a valued woman.

Lesson #5: People are not always what they say they are. He said that he was looking for someone with intelligence and spirituality. As it turns out, he is looking for quite the opposite.

Sure these lessons may seem obvious but sometimes when you are 30 and single and feel like men are never going to be interested in you, it’s easy to think that you should take what you can get or that maybe that is all you can get. I don’t think so though. I deserve happiness and respect just as much as anyone else.

Okay…On a happier note: The Bachelor comes on tonight!! Yay Bachelor Jake! Now there is a good guy. I like watching this show and learning from it. Mostly, I learn what not to do. At the same time, it’s interesting to pick up ideas for conversation and how to approach men from these ladies. You find out what works and what doesn’t. I like to think of it as an educational endeavor!


Tacy said...

Sorry that had to happen to you, but you are right in the lessons you learned. You are more valuable than to have to put up with a lame man like that. I know sometimes it probably seems like most men out there are lame. I have definitely known some, but there are good ones, too. You are so right about being picky. You SHOULD be picky because you are going to spend the rest of your life and eternity with this person! I hope you meet one of those good guys soon!

Livin it up said...

Thanks! I know there are always going to be bumps in the road. I'm trying to forget about it and keep my faith that there is someone decent left out there! Guess I'll keep searching...

DJ and Sarah said...

I had that experience with the online dating many times as well! Keep trying, I found my hubby online and things are great. Don't give up! (I need to change so it does not say DJ on my responses)