People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

#20: The Music Man

The best thing about this date is that now my numbers are even and soon I will have less men “to go” than “men done.” Once again, I don’t even know where to begin. Well, I met the Music Man at a game night a few weeks ago. He found out I teach music and was unusually excited about it since he himself writes and records music. He got my number, should he ever need a violinist to help him record. I was friendly and quite obliging that night. Two days later, he gave me a call. He wanted to say hi but also didn’t want too much time to pass before he asked me out. Since it was the week of Christmas and quite busy for the both of us, he promised to call me on Monday evening, Boxing Day, and set up a date for sometime this week.

Monday came and went and no word from any men. I was a little frustrated because I like it when people say they are going to do something and then they do it. I don’t know…I’m just weird that way. I was also getting quite scheduled up for the week so I wanted to make sure I had some options since I had already committed to going out with him. Anyway, Tuesday night he finally made the call. When the conversation was over I was glad the date was set up, that it was just a lunch date, and that the conversation was in fact over. He started talking shop on me and to be honest, I’m just not into that sort of talk. Sure, I’m a musician….but I never felt like I really fit with the musician crowd if ya know what I mean. Well, I always had cool friends but I just don’t get pleasure in sitting around talking about music theory which to be quite honest, was a painful subject for me in school. I couldn’t wait to be rid of it.

Well, the date was set for today in the noon hour. We chose a fabulous Thai restaurant that we had both been to previously so I was really excited for the food! When he arrived at me house only one minute late, he called me to let me know he was there. Nice. I went out to meet him where he at least got out to open my door.
Now normally I enjoy a good safe driver. He commented that many people call him an old man when it comes to driving. It really did take FOREVER to get to the pre-appointed destination. I was glad to finally arrive because for one, I really had to use the facility and for two, I was hungry! Thankfully these Asians know how to serve it up quick and the food was just as good as I remembered it to be last time I was there with a date. 

To be honest, I don’t think I was fair to the man. I just wasn’t feeling it and I couldn’t quite get my energy in a positive state to really be there. I was wishing it was someone else. And, most of the conversation consisted of things I found ridiculous. Enough with the theory already!! I love music! I enjoy making music through voice and instrument. I love listening to it in all forms! I don’t want to write it and I don’t want to analyze it. I was trying so hard not to yawn several times. Poor guy! He talked of hanging out with me in the future and I had such a hard time coming up with a neutral reply! 

At last, lunch finally ended and we headed home…only in the wrong direction. He turned the only way he could down State Street but he didn’t realize (or ignored) that he was going the wrong way for several blocks. He missed MANY opportunities for a U-turn…believe me! Finally he got us heading in the right direction on the ever so long journey home. 

On that long journey home he talked about how he likes to be calm. He’s not much for an adrenaline rush. Oh sad day! I like myself a good adrenaline rush from time to time! I think he was slightly horrified at my declaration of this and some of the experiences I’ve had. I need excitement in my life from time to time though!! It’s an amazing feeling to accomplish something you think you can’t do…or something that you are afraid of. They do wonders for who you are and what you feel you can do in your future. Everyone needs a good adrenaline rush from time to time! Okay, maybe not but I do and I don’t want to sit quietly through life moving slowly, speaking low, hiding out, and staying calm. I like freaking out from time to time. I like to switch it up and jump on the bed if I feel like it, skip down the street if I’m in the mood, sing out in the open, laugh a good belly laugh, run around, jump up and down, jump off cliffs, fly behind boats, climb mountains, etc. It’s a huge part of me. In fact, my best friend gave me a new motto for life the other day. It’s going to be, “defy yourself.” How great is that? Defy yourself Mr. Music Man…you might actually like it!:)

Is it any surprise that when he dropped me off he didn't walk me to the door? I was kind of relieved because door scenes are awkward enough at night in the dark, but in midday? Besides, I was ready to bolt the vehicle and pray for a long absence from this music man. 

Friday, December 23, 2011

Mr. Manly #19

Where to begin? That’s always the hard part. Should we start with the eyes? Yes, the eyes. Those beautiful pools of blue like lakes of glass, mesmerizing and hard to turn away from. Okay so he had nice eyes. Beautiful manly eyes! He was definitely not disappointing in the looks department. Anyway, I’m embarrassed (only slightly) to admit what the plan for the night was. The other day he asked me if I was free yesterday or today because he wanted to see the lights of temple square, a beautiful tradition here this time of year! I went recently but would have been happy to go with him if I had had time. Unfortunately however, I was performing in a choir that held two concerts last night, and two tonight. Don’t get me wrong, I was actually really excited about said performances, just wished that he had some time off at the same time as me. He has a crazy work schedule you see because he flies planes and has to travel the world daily, or at least the US and Canada. But anyway, back to the story at hand. 

As a result of Mr. Manly Pilot #19’s schedule, he would not have any more time off before Christmas. I’ve been kind of dying to meet him in person so that I can feel okay about liking him. It’s just easier to tell what a person is like in person. So, I had a few extra tickets to my concert tonight and I randomly invited him to come. Weird huh!! What a dork! For some reason I felt really comfortable doing that though. I feel like I know him pretty well…even though I really don’t! He seemed excited about it actually and offered to take me out for hot chocolate afterward…how nice! So, I met him in the lobby tonight, just before my concert. My other friend showed up around the same time and I gave her some tickets as well. I mention her because she had no idea who he was or what he was doing there. I just introduced them. After we parted she texted me and was like, “okay, he is hot…details please.” So, I’m not just saying that he was good looking…she is a way cool girl and hangs out in the popular crowd, haha. But besides his looks, he was really friendly, greeted me with a hug, though also a little shy. I felt bad because I had a lot of friends around at the time who are also like family to me. Actually Mr. Keeper from last year met him but wasn’t super friendly…surprise, surprise. I don’t really care though. 

Okay so, the concert went really well and afterward he seemed really pleased. He was quite complementary. I brought some jeans to change into because the shoes I was in and the nylons were not gonna fly any longer than they had to! So he came with me back to the secret room backstage where we kept all of our things. I grabbed my stuff and made him wait outside the bathroom while I changed. When I came out he was talking to this old man and I walked right out and kind of loudly and relieved sounding I said, “Ahh, I feel sooo much better!!” Then I realized as we were walking away that that is probably not the best thing to say when coming out of a BATHROOM!! Haha. No wonder the old man kind of laughed at me. I was talking about my clothing change! Still…we laughed about it which was good. 

We chatted it up on the forever long walk to his car in the snow! It was fairly easy to talk to him so the walk wasn’t so bad. We arrived at his car and he opened the door for me and turned on the heater while he scraped the windows. Then we headed out in search of a Starbucks for some nice hot chocolate but were unsuccessful at first. I remembered that there was one at “The Gateway” so we headed in that direction next. We arrived just as they closed. He decided that maybe we should go somewhere that was 24 hours, like IHOP. That I knew the location of and it was right on the way to my house so we left in that direction.
We talked about many things and it was just comfortable. The hot chocolate was extra sweet but needed on a cold night. I was glad to learn of his shared love for the wonderful drink! After drinking a whole lot of water and hot chocolate, my extra tiny bladder couldn’t take it anymore and I had to use the restroom. I was careful what I said when I came out this time though! The problem is that my bladder really is super small and I have issues that I am happy to share on this public website but not with him apparently. I don’t really know what my issues are other than that sometimes I literally have to pee like every 5 minutes. So, this situation was no exception. Almost immediately after arriving back at the table, I seriously had to go again. It was pretty painful! I didn’t want to admit it however so I just put my coat on and he asked if I was about ready to go. I answered in the affirmative and we headed out.

At my house we lingered in the car and I was beginning to think he wasn’t going to walk me to the door so I opened the car door and started to get out. Then he offered to walk me up and followed through with it as well. We lingered at my steps a bit but I kept moving closer to the door because I was really, really dying. Seriously, you have never known such pain! I had to pee like none other! It’s really all I could think about. Still didn’t want to admit it however but he finally gave me an awesome hug and headed for his car. We continued talked as he moved toward his car and I toward the door. There was talk of a future such occurrence and I reminded him jokingly that he still owed me a $7 dinner. Long story, maybe I will explain it sometime. Probably not though. Just know that it made sense to him and he laughed and took off. 

It was easy for me to be with Mr. Manly. I am not sure what I think yet but I am certainly willing to give him more time. In fact, I am really hoping for it. As I finish this post it has actually been a couple of days. He emailed this morning from Nebraska and I was a happy girl! It’s good to hear from someone again after the first initial meeting. Well, that is if you want to hear from them. I began to worry that he didn’t like me. I can see that he did…at least enough…and that things will continue to play out however they are supposed to. I’m excited to see just what that will be but for now, I’m good with the journey.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It's A Date!

Or two! So, Mr. Internet has decided to meet me. Yay! I think I am excited about this but I am also super nervous. Every other guy I met from online turned out to be weird in person! I do have a good feeling about this one though. I'm just nervous. We are getting together tomorrow night so I will let you know how it goes down later. Just wanted to fill you in on the good news!

Also...I had a choir performance tonight. On the way home I got a phone call from a guy I met on Sunday. Actually, let's back track a little. Saturday night I went to a friend's party and while there I met this guy that goes to our ward. I have seen him several times but have never been introduced. He doesn't seem like my type as far as dating goes anyway but still, he seems like a nice fella! The next morning he had already added me as a friend on facebook. Then, I saw him after church and he invited me to a game night at his house that evening. Because of my new resolve to put myself out there again, I decided to go.

Almost immediately upon entering this game night, I regretted it. I think I have mentioned my dislike of games in the past. Well, that is not wholly true. They were just involved in an intense strategy game and I am more of a social game kind of person. I thought this whole thing through while trying not to die of bordem while watching their game. Anyway though, we ended up playing something slightly more fun and definitely more social so it turned out alright in the end. There was a guy there who was super excited that I was a musician. He is a writer of music and records as well. He got my number so that I could play violin for him sometime.

And...back to the present. The musician called me tonight. Really, he just wants my body and asked if I would like to go on a date next week. I said sure so we are on for....well, for sometime next week. That is yet to be determined. Looks like I am gonna make my half way mark before the end of the year, whew!! I'm pretty sure that no matter how long it takes, I can still meet my man in 40 so bring it on boys!

Friday, December 16, 2011

The World Wide Web

So, there is this guy. Tell you more? Okay. Well, despite all of my trash talking of internet dating, once I hit 32 I decided I’d better stop being so picky about my options. :) Seriously though, I was in great need of some new blood in the dating pool so I thought I’d give it another round, only differently this time. It was quite obvious from previous experience that guys on free dating sites are mostly there for a piece of this hot bod. That or they were seriously weird!! Either way, enough was enough and I had to remove myself before I lost complete faith in the male species. 

After a suitable sabbatical I decided it was time to fork out the big bucks and see what the internet had to offer in return. I chose a well known and vastly used site to display my picture and personal info to browsing males who also decided to fork over a lot of money for love. It seemed like they might be more serious if money was involved. This is still to be determined but so far not an unreasonable hypothesis. Anyway, after a few months of patient waiting, one day a match showed up with so many captivating details as to lure me into sending him a one liner. I won’t tell you what it was…but I thought it was pretty funny. I decided that as long as I laughed, it was all good. 

Once the send button was pushed I really hoped this one would write back, but I didn’t have too high of hopes. I had really been trying to let the guys come to me this time around. I thought I would just relax and let the men make the initial contact. Well, this particular site is a little weird about emailing someone. They warn against it making you feel like you have never communicated with someone in your life and that you should first complete their step by step process to get to that point. They have ridiculous multiple choice questions that you can choose to send. I have responded to a few but never sent any in return because I think they are La-Hame!! Anyway, I took a chance on this one and hoped for the best. 

A little over 24 hours later I finally got the response I was hoping for. He laughed! And he even did it with three exclamation points. What a man! He replied with another witty one liner and I knew then that there could be good potential with this one. After a couple of short replies back and forth he sent me a more lengthy email. I returned the favor. It’s only been two weeks but we have been conversing back and forth in this manner almost daily. I hate to make any judgments about anyone until I meet them in person but so far he seems pretty cool…easy to converse with, good looking in pictures, good sense of humor, and he seems like he is a really good person. We seem to have a lot in common with similar goals and interests. He is outdoorsy, has a super cool job which involves A LOT of travel, and likes good food. Haha. :)  I’m just trying to figure out whether to be patient a little longer, or to throw my number out there. He talks about doing stuff with me…like skiing and what not…but hasn’t asked for the old number. What to do, what to do?? I’ll keep you posted!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Mr. Dry #18

First dates make up some of the most awkward moments in our lives. Every time another one rolls around you can’t help but wonder what you are about to get into and why you have to constantly be put through such torture. I don’t mean to say that the date itself is torturous (well, sometimes) but the anticipation of what is to come rather can be quite troubling to both the mind and body. As I waited for yet another blind date to show up at my door tonight I began to get that nervous anticipation and that sinking feeling telling me that I would really rather just stay home than put myself through another night of forced conversations mixed with awkward silences while sitting across from one another, sizing each other up for any possibility of a future such occurrence. 

Tonight’s date was not unlike any other in this regard. But before we get to that part, how about a little background? As mentioned, this was a set up. Last week I received three text messages in a row from a guy who had gotten my number quite some time ago. I guess he was finally ready to make a move. Fine by me since his interest in taking me on a date began before his divorce was finalized. I declined any interest in a connection while that was still in progress. Apparently he was given my number a few months ago and just now decided to make use of it. His texts explained who he was and that he would like to call me later and maybe set up a time to go out and such. I complied and he called me later on that evening.

 The conversation when he called was short and somewhat weird to be honest. I wasn’t too impressed. In fact, I did not really find much good to say about him but kept reminding myself inside to try and be open-minded and nice. You never know right? And, people can be very different in person. I just didn’t really have high hopes for this one. Anyway though, we chatted for a few, he asked what my weekends were like (as if I have them all planned out in advance??) and I let him know that I was free the next day but had plans for the Saturday coming up. He explained that he had his 4 year old daughter every other weekend and that that would be the following weekend. Okay then. He resolved to call and set up a time to go out soon. I just kind of thought that that was what the call was for. So, it was slightly frustrating because I prefer to just meet people. I hate it when guys just call to talk and never ask you out. Lame I know. I do like talking to them, I just wish that they would also ask me out and we could talk there. He also told me by the way, that he had received my number several months ago but “just finally got up the nerve to call.” These are the kinds of things that I totally understand, but don’t want to hear. I want him to be a man, show some confidence, and hide that fact that it is hard to call a girl. Just do it!  

The following Monday rolled around and he texted me asking what my weekend plans were. I told him that I didn’t have any yet and he asked me out for Saturday at Six. I guess it’s easier over text. Still, it’s nice when guys actually call you to ask you out. It seems more polite. He promised to call on Wednesday to figure out what to do and such. So, Wednesday came and he called and informed me that we would be going to dinner and a movie. I have to say, I was impressed he came up with a plan. It’s nice to have a man with a plan, no matter what the plan is. I don’t like to be put on the spot to have to come up with the plan. I figure if they ask me out, they should do the planning. Plus, it makes me feel taken care of and thought about and I like that. But back to the story, he asked me what movies were playing that I was interested in seeing. I answered honestly that I had no idea what was even playing right now. So in return I asked him what he was thinking. He replied that he knew Twilight was playing. And that was it. That’s all he knew was currently playing. I thought it kind of weird really. He actually seemed pretty interested and slightly disappointed that I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I will see it. I just haven’t loved the movies…that’s all. And, I did not want to see this particular one with a strange man. 

After a brief discussion, we decided to further research and decided on Saturday. Today is Saturday. He texted me earlier in the day for my address and informed me that he would like to see, “In Time.” I didn’t remember that in my research so I used my handy Flixter app on the old iphone to check it out. It had a big rotten tomato next to it. The approval ratings were not high from the critics or the users. Sad day. Still, I don’t always agree with their analysis and so decided to keep an open mind about it. You never know with movies….or men. 

He picked me up on time and I immediately noticed our height difference as did he when he mentioned that he had asked our common friend if I was going to tower over his 5’4”. She replied that she was pretty sure I was around the same height. We obviously don’t see each other enough. I am a good 5’7” and did feel like just that….I was towering. Still, some of my best friends are taller than their husbands and things worked out okay for them. I really like to be shorter though! He nicely opened my door however and seemed to be friendly and well mannered so those were bonuses. Almost right away however, I thought I was going to die of heat stroke or something of that matter. He was cold. I was not. I was roasting and getting car sick despite the 2 mile trip to Zupas where we dined in. 

While at dinner I ordered soup and a sandwich. He just ordered the sandwich. Apparently he had been to Rodizio for lunch. Anyone who has been there knows it’s not too hard to overeat. He was still stuffed so I felt slightly awkward eating my dinner alone. He hardly touched his. He told me that he also got nervous before dates and he had nervous stomach or something like that. I didn’t know what to say. It just made me feel a little more awkward. I was starving and had no trouble throwin’ down my food. I’m also a big fan of Zupas so I can’t help but enjoy the food while I’m there….good choice on his part. 

As we (I mean I) ate, the conversation was very strained. We really did not have anything to talk about. We don’t have a whole lot in common and he has a very flat/dry tone when he talks. Mostly he doesn’t sound very excited about anything. He is; his voice is just really bored sounding. I hadn’t thought about conversation too much before going on the date so it was hard for me to keep thinking of things to bring up. I felt like it was me who was doing that though and I don’t like to be the one to keep the conversation going.

 I was glad he chose a movie afterward so that we didn’t have to talk. I was not glad about the choice. We saw, “In Time,” starring Justin Timberlake. First of all, as I mentioned, the reviews were pretty negative. Secondly, how do you take Justin Timberlake seriously? Thirdly, the plot was just ridiculous and it ended up being completely anti-climatic. My date agreed. The whole time I thought, how are they going to end this thing? How will they resolve the conflict? They never actually did…just left you hanging. Also, there were a couple of parts where I felt slightly uncomfortable being on a date due to the lack of clothing and somewhat risqué scenes. All in all….it was kind of a long two hours but I was still grateful I didn’t have to talk to the date. 

On the short drive back to my house we said about as much as we could about the movie and tried to squeeze in any other lame topic we could think of. It was definitely not natural. I was so grateful to pull up in front of my house again. He walked me to the door, gave me a hug, and took off. It was 9:30 and I was glad to have a little time to myself for awhile! Times like these make you appreciate being alone. It’s not so bad after all!