People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Mr. Boyfriend

Last week’s conversation with my mom went down like this:
Mom: “So, I hear you have a date tonight.”
Me: “Yep, I sure do.”
Mom: “I told dad earlier that these are more of ‘meet and greets’ rather than actual dates since you meet each other for like 5 minutes.”
Me: “Well, he’s taking me to dinner and then we are going to a jr. high concert.”
Mom: “Oh wow, he’s actually taking you to dinner huh? Not to one of these cupcake places for a quick meeting?”
Me: “Haha, I’ve never been to a cupcake place.”

Last week I decided to get back online after a short 2 month break. You know that I’m not a quitter and I’m never going to give up so, as disappointed as I have been in the male population that is left for the picking these days, I decided to get back on the old internet and put myself through the torture of it all once again. I sifted through hundreds of emails that had been sent to me in my absence. Among them I found a cute boy that had tried to contact me a month ago. I wrote back and soon had his number. I texted him, didn’t hear back, texted again and eventually wrote him on the site. He then finally decided to text me back! Ever since then, it’s been bliss. He called me and we set up a date for the next evening…the day of the conversation with my mom.

He had invited me to dinner. Later it was dinner and a movie and whatever else. I informed him that I had a middle school orchestra concert to attend that night so it was either just dinner, or he come with me to the concert afterward. He agreed to come to the concert. I was a little surprised and kind of nervous. What if he didn’t like me? What if I didn’t like him? And then we were stuck with each other for a long evening. It turned out however that I did like him. And he seemed to like me pretty well too.

I met up with him that evening and we went to dinner at “Iggy’s.” He told me his life story and I did my best to answer his questions about mine. It was delightful. We shared our food, we talked, we laughed (yay!) and I spilled red sauce on my white undershirt. Embarrassing! He was nice and knew I was embarrassed so he just made sure to bring it up a few more times the rest of the night. Well, at first he assured me it was fine. Then after seeing me constantly self conscious about it, he decided to remind me it was there from time to time. I loved his sense of humor though. 

After dinner we made our trek up North to visit a girl that I used to teach. She likes to think I am her “second mom” so I try to support her when I can. She was playing in a middle school orchestra concert and I thought it was SO awesome of Mr. Boyfriend to commit to coming with me to such an  event which can at times be painful on the ears! We sat right behind her mom and sister who both highly approved of my date for the night. When he walked out for a minute they excitedly told me how hot he was. Uh yeah…and he was with me! I was pretty proud because he is pretty dang good looking!! We made the concert fun, teasing each other in small ways throughout. He would also put his arm through mine or just reach over and squeeze me knee from time to time. He’s flirty and silly and I absolutely love that in a man! He also got along really well with my faux daughter and her family. More points for him! 

After the concert we made our way back to his house. He showed me some Youtube videos. The first was of a famous violinist. I'm a fan turns out he’s also a big fan. What? A cultured man too? Yep, it’s true. He told me about DaVinci’s art in “Ever After,” (uh yeah, he likes chick flicks too but no worries, he’s also VERY manly), he shared with me his love for the city of love…aka Paris, and we watched some silly videos as well. I was pretty happy. I didn’t stay long. He was super respectful of me, not trying to make out at all. Ahh refreshing. He let me go early since I had to work in the morning. He walked me to my car, gave me a great hug and a tiny little kiss or two. It was just perfect! I left the date a pretty happy girl!

He wanted me to text him when I got home (this hasn’t happened since pilot #1) which just made me like him all the more. I did and he said he loved being with me that night. The next morning he texted me and wished me a happy half day at work and assured me (as he had mentioned the night before) that he still wanted to make a date of Saturday night. That evening he called me a couple of times. By then, I was getting pretty sick with a cold! He wouldn’t allow it and I tried to follow his advice but I just had to succumb after awhile!

The next morning he again texted me for awhile and as I was still sick, he told me he would bring me dinner and some movies and come take care of me. How sweet! So, he came over that night with a couple of good chick flicks! We went to dinner, stopped at a friend’s party, and then went to my house to watch, “Midnight in Paris” (his favorite).  During the movie he asked if I wanted to be a couple. I really like him so far so I accepted…because FINALLY a guy is willing to commit at some level!! Hallelujah!! Seriously, I date guys for months and they continue to date the rest of the world and they NEVER commit! So, it doesn’t matter where this goes, I’m glad to give it a shot for now, and so is he. We’ve hung out a few more times and I love every minute of it! He is so dang sweet to me but also intelligent, delightful company! So…this is the story of Mr. Boyfriend and I. So far. To be continued of course!

Sunday, December 9, 2012


I was recently reading a past post about my introduction to the mid single world. I remember that time well. My last couple of years in my twenties were spent dreading the day that I turned 30 and hoping with everything in me that I would be married before then. I had no idea what to expect and I was pretty much just freaking out! The older singles were intimidating and well…it all just seemed highly unattractive to me. I judged a little harshly at first, denying with everything in me that I could possibly be in the same boat as they. But time kept moving forward, no matter what I did, and I was soon thrown into the mid singles world without a choice or second thought.

Thankfully when it was time for my exit, many others were in a similar situation. We flocked to the mid singles wards in droves. I felt part of something. Part of a mass exit from the young single’s world but also part of a herd of naughty children being thrust into our fate for not living up to the expectations of the world. It was sad. And scary. But I decided to give it a try. It is easy at first glance to notice the misfits; to wonder if that is you, and to wonder if this is a life sentence or just a short nightmare that will soon end with a heroic save from Prince Charming who was just waiting for the perfect moment to surprise you with his grand entrance into your life.

For months I struggled. I did not feel like I belonged. Still, I kept going. I kept trying. I had faith that someday my life would feel normal again. I’m not sure when it happened exactly but I realized recently that I belong. That these are my people. This is where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be. In many ways I am content. I’m still waiting and hoping for that grand entrance of course, but I don’t necessarily feel like it’s for a save. I feel like its purpose is for progression and further happiness in my life.

Each Sunday I go to church. I have spent many such visits looking around, watching the people that I associate with. I know these people and I love them. Often in our women’s meeting I look around and feel a little sad for many, knowing that we all are hoping for the same thing but that it isn’t in our plan right now to have it. Often however, I notice that I associate with some of the absolute most talented, intelligent, beautiful, creative, strong women in the world.  I don’t know why none of us are married but wow, we are quite the group! You should hear the harmonies as we sing, the discussions we have during our lessons, and the visits with each other outside of class time. I’m blessed to know such great people and to be a part of them.

Change in life is always hard. It’s intimidating and scary. Every time I bring my younger friends to church with me, I know exactly how they are feeling and as they express their thoughts to me I nod but think inside, “just wait…you don’t know what I know!” Sure we have all kinds, but the world is a much more beautiful and interesting place with variety and diversity. It’s also comforting to know that there is a place for everyone. There are many there who will never marry but they have the opportunity to belong, to serve, and to be social. I don’t love that I am 33 and still single. I want to get married and to move on. But the people I associate with aren’t so bad. There are an increasing amount of amazing people being thrust into my path and social circles weekly. Attitude and perception are the key. Happiness is still a possibility.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Where's MY Waldo: The Search Continues

Yes, I once again let a short interim come between you and I but I’m still here. Still searching high and low for Mr. Right, and sometimes I must say, it’s a lot like looking for Waldo. Tonight’s search seemed to reflect that anyway. I have many good single friends but tonight I hung out with a girl that I’ve been friends with for a long time yet haven’t seen in awhile. It was great to catch up and just have a good time. We were on a mission though. The mission was basically, find my man! The problem? Well, you know what they say about location right? I may not have chosen the best place for the search but it seemed like a fun activity either way.

Yes, my reunited friend and I decided that tonight we should take our search party to downtown Salt Lake City, Ut where the lights of temple square were beckoning us to come. There were a lot of lights and a lot of people…couples in particular. Those who have been there know it’s like THE place for couples to go this time of year. Besides that, it’s THE place for families to go. There is always the chance however, that some single’s group will be there too…with some kind of available goods for the sharing! With that hope, my friend and I began our search with a cup of hot chocolate from the JB’s next door and a determination in our step.

We saw the lights, but we searched the sardine like crowd for some single men, any single men, to no avail. Every once in awhile a lone man with nice face would show up giving us hope. Then out of nowhere a girl would show up from behind. It was weird! We saw thousands of couples! And three single men. The creeper, the old man, and the guy who ventured to talk to us about a bag he found outside. Seemed a little sketchy to me but we humored him for a minute anyway. Besides that my red and white prince just seemed to be hiding way too good to be found on this particular December night. 

Despite not making any connections, I had a great time with a friend! I enjoyed some hot chocolate, I loved seeing the lights, hearing the nativity, and being outside on a beautiful night! We talked, we laughed, we searched, we sat in exhaustion praying that maybe he would just walk by, and we discussed the possibilities as we caught up on each other’s lives. It was a fun night! As for you Mr. Waldo…don’t worry…I’ve got my eyes peeled once again. It’s been a couple of weeks since my last date and I haven’t seemed to find any winners lately but I’ve enjoyed the small break as I’ve focused on reconnecting with me for a minute!  We will see what the future week brings!