People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Better Days

Sorry about Friday. We all go through those moments though, right? I know I frequently do, but things are weird right now. There has been so much transition in my life lately and so much anticipation of transition, that it becomes overwhelming and I get discouraged. Let’s talk about that later though. For now, let’s focus on better days, like yesterday! What a fabulously fun day it was! So, I got up bright and early because I had plans to go shoot the tube! I met a couple of my guy friends and went off to meet the one I planned it with. He had texted me early in the morning to see if it was still a go and of course I responded with an enthusiastic, “yes!” He never responded however. My three other friends and I waited for him for quite some time. By this time I had texted my missing friend (who was actually experienced at shooting the tube) several times with no response. Finally, we decided to take matters into our own hands and go without him….and his raft.

(On the left is the tunnel wher eyou come out)

We eventually found our way to Tanner Park, near the mouth of Parley’s Canyon. From there, we followed a trail that eventually led us to the end of the aqua duct from which we would soon be spewing forth. There were about three or four fellow tube shooters already there. As it turns out, we had to walk through the tunnel/aqua duct, to the other end to begin. I let the boys go ahead while I finished putting on my swimming gear. By the time I was ready, they had already made it to the other end, leaving me to find my way through the dark tunnel on my own. I was scared! I wished I had a nice brave man to lead the way for me. I didn’t however, so I finally took a deep breath and began my journey up the tunnel. I could see the other end but it is pretty long and I was walking through about a foot of water in flip flops. I was scared I was going to fall and be swept back down the tube before reaching the other end. Thankfully I did not, but instead safely made it to my friends who were hard at work making a dam to slow the flow of water into the tube.

Before leaving the house, my dad made me take my life jacket. I decided to take it with me because I figured if I didn’t, something stupid would happen and my dad would be mad and I would regret it, etc. So, despite being the only one, I took it with me. While waiting for the dam to fill up and break, I was grateful for the life jacket. Since our other friend with the raft didn’t come, we were left with nothing to go down on, which is fin,e but I sat on my life jacket which was much better than nothing! As I stood there in anticipation I was about to pee my pants with nervous excitement!

The dam became so full that eventually someone had to break it. There were several of us lined up in the tunnel, just waiting to be swept down with the force of the water when it hit us. They broke the dam and the water hit us with such a powerful force and swept us down the tube (which is about the length of a football field I hear). It was sooo fun!! We laughed and screamed and at the end, I saw a huge white wall of water just as it swept over me, forcing me to swallow my daily allotment and take quite a bit up the nose as well! The tunnel was like a huge creature, just spewing us out into this little pond where people were letting their dogs play. For a second I thought I was going to drown, but no worries, it wasn’t that deep and I was out of the water in no time, gasping for air. I’m not sure if it was the water intake or the fact that it was like ice that left me breathless but it took me some time to recover my normal breathing!
(Imagine this full of rushing water throwing humans out of it!)

After having made it down, we were all elated! We laughed with excitement, shared our tales of adventure and decided to give it one more shot. The second time was even better. There were more people then and we all somehow connected as the water forced us together in a huge train. It was delightful though, and this time, I was prepared for the white wall of water and plugged my nose just before it hit! We survived again and headed home! That was the best free fun around for sure!!!
(The pond at the bottom...when it's calm cause no one is flying into it.)

As for the rest of the day, I had a great time helping my friend shop for missionary clothes, swimming with my family, working out at the gym, and then going to a party at my other friend’s house. Of course, he is really young and again, I sometimes feel really out of place at these events. Seriously, I looked around awhile and realized that since I used to teach high school, all of these people could have been my students because they really didn’t graduate all that long ago. Yikes! Anyway, it turned out to be really fun and I got to know a girl in my new ward a lot better so it worked out. But sadly, no dating prospects….I’m not weird like that. I do like younger guys but I draw a limit on when I started teaching. If they did not graduate before that, they are out!!

On that note however, I realized yesterday that I haven’t been putting as much into this project as I used to and that is probably the reason for my lack of success. I know what I need to do….I’m grateful for the slight focus change for awhile because I needed it and have honestly become quite a different person the last few months…but I’m ready to move on again, I think! More fun date stories soon!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Caught in the Middle

Where is all the time going, seriously? Can we just slow this down a little more? More importantly, how about I just make it a goal to date ten guys this year! It’s still way better than last year!! Why did I think 40 was achievable again?? Or why did I think that guys would want to date me? Okay, I know…this is not okay! But sometimes when you are sitting at home on a Friday night, you wonder these things. Yes, you are right; I shouldn’t be sitting at home! Well, I went out last night and I’m going out in the morning so it’s not a complete waste, right? Besides, you’ve been dying for a blog update, haven’t you? I feel like a slacker in every way right now!! It’s time to repent…I’m on that. Maybe in awhile I will go up to Ogden to see my new friend perform in an improve competition. He has invited me the last 3 weeks and I haven’t gone. Everyone else I know is busy or doesn’t care to hang out with me so, I guess I will maybe…attempt this one on my own. Who knows what may happen!

While we are on the subject of self pity, let’s talk a little more about this whole age thing. So, I went to play Frisbee last night and then went country dancing. The friend that I hang out with to do these activities is almost ten years younger than I am. It’s totally fine, she is super fun and keeps me young and energetic, and most importantly, out there. Still, I can’t help but feel a little out of place at times around her other friends and boyfriend, when to them, I am super old. I try not to bring up my age but at times it comes up and this awkward silence immediately follows. Geez, I don’t have a plague or anything and you were totally cool with me like 5 seconds ago!

Okay, she is so not like that but I just feel out of place a lot of times with the younger crowd now. I feel this more and more lately. I don’t want to be old but there is just something about the experiences you have in life over just a few years that change you! I’m grateful for those changes! I don’t want to give them up! I feel like I know who I am because of my experiences. The problem is relating to people who have not yet had such opportunities. They are not any less of a person, and neither am I…we are just different. Sometimes, more often than not though, I DO feel like less of a person, just because of my age! Shouldn’t that make me more of a person though? Hmmmm. Maybe the fact that my birthday still looms over me on a daily basis is the contributing factor to these long, self-absorbed paragraphs of self-pity, I don’t know. One more week though. One more week and we can just move on from it and try to forget it ever happened I guess.

While we are on the subject of self pity, let’s just get everything out and then we can move on again. Sometimes, when you are hanging out on a Friday night with nothing to do, you have these little sessions, even though it’s nice to hang out by yourself sometimes. It’s definitely been one of those weeks though, ya know? I really hate to admit it because I’m sure there are people who will take joy in my self pity, but oh well. I love the good times and have plenty of them…it’s just been a long week. So…what else? Besides the younger crowd, I also feel out of place in the older crowd as I have mentioned. I am not divorced, am too young, and don’t have any children!

Ah, that brings me to another point. This man, a police officer in Kanab area was killed yesterday. That’s my old place of residence so I have heard a lot about it. Everyone has been talking about how it is so sad and that he left behind a wife and two kids. It is so sad!! I am sad for my friend that this happened to a few years ago! I am sad for anyone that has to go through this. It has made me consider though, what if I died? Would it be less sad because I don’t leave anyone behind?? It sort of makes you feel a little worthless sometimes…like I am not contributing properly to the world so what am I good for? Okay, I know…stupid comment! I just wanted to throw it out there though.

So, this post is sooo not okay. I know that and you know that. Now I HAVE to go out to my friend’s show tonight! I am tired though. I stayed out way too late last night country dancing. It was okay. I danced with all the strange guys and did not meet my goal to give out my number. Eh, I didn’t want to give them my number anyway! I better get myself ready to go. More on tonight’s FUN adventures (promise) later!!

Saturday, August 21, 2010


Wow, another week has already passed by. It's been so fun and so busy! I can't write a lot right now because I have to speak at stake conference in a few hours and I want to focus on that. I just wanted to check in though, and let you know what's goin on. I started back to work a couple days this week and I don't know why that has completely thrown me off. Where did the Summer go? I know we always say that but seriously....I think someone is messing with the calender and I mean to have a word or two with them! On top of starting back to work, I have had this talk weighing over me ALL week! I am sooo nervous! I think it's ready to go but I'm just hoping I don't put people to sleep, ya know? So, with all that, how could I worry about boys? I couldn't. Plus, I had some good times hanging out with my friend and some other boys and I just realized that I am like the one date wonder. Sure I've been on some dates with guys...but why can't I get a second date? Why don't I want a second date most of the time?? Well, I know why. I was discouraged for a day or two by my obvious lack of skills in the dating area but I'm really hoping to make it better soon. I know I also always say that but really, things have got to look up soon right? More later on the men in my life. As for now, just pray for me tonight!! Love you all!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I'm Still Here...Are You?

It’s just been a weird week…that’s all. I don’t even really know how to describe it…it’s just been very up and very down. I guess I’ve been trying really hard to be up, but have had to also go through a lot of struggle this week as well. Anyway, I can’t really explain it all, it’s just been one of those moments in life that you have to do a self evaluation and figure out how to put your best foot forward; mostly by putting one foot in front of the other until you end up in the right position. Anyway, some of the highlights of my week will follow I suppose. Then maybe I will get back on track with my normal schedule of blogging and boys and change.

I tried to do a little bit of service every day this week. That included helping a young girl pack for college, helping an old lady paint her house, taking my little sister out, and going to the temple a couple of times this week. The most fun was probably painting the house. It was a completely disorganized event but two of my guy friends volunteered to come along and help. We had a fantastic time, despite the circumstances. They sprayed me with the hose and tried to put paint on me. I painted one of them and threw water on him. He threw berries and twigs at me and dumped Gatorade all over me. I tried to steal his truck…he smoked me out all the way home as I drove behind that truck, etc. So much fun!! I love service!

As for the rest of the week, I guess another highlight was Thursday night. I think everything happened Thursday night…like a whole life time in one night. Let’s start late afternoon. I was innocently riding my bike around the neighborhood and found myself on a street up the hill where no houses reside. There is a huge cement plant and a bakery, but no residence. Anyway, there aren’t many people there. So, I was peddling along when a truck passed me and stopped. A man got out and I couldn’t see him but I was a bit nervous. He said my name pretty quickly though and then I saw that he was a member of our stake presidency. Whew! He told me that he had been trying to get a hold of me. Hmmm?? Anyway, he wanted to see if I would speak in stake conference next week. So, I said I would, he pulled his topic list out of the car, and I am all set for the Saturday night session. That was fun.

Just after that unusual biking experience, I decided to go shopping really quickly for some new dancing jeans to wear out that night. I found some winners and as I was heading home, found myself at a light that was flashing red. The traffic was heavy so everyone treated it as a 4 way stop (the other way was flashing yellow). Just before my turn, the people to my right were turning left in front of me. Across from them an old man on a 3 wheel motorcycle did not stop. He hit the turners right in front of me, flew about 10 feet into the air, and landed face down in a heap right in front of me. I was freaking out!!! I think that I successfully did not cry but I did pull over to make sure everything was okay. It was awful. He never moved from his position until the ambulance moved him onto the stretcher. He was making horrible retching noises. He wasn’t wearing a helmet. That’s all I am going to say. He was alive at the time…I don’t know about now but I am still completely horrified and disturbed by the whole thing! How awful!

Well, after that, I picked up my friend and went out to play Ultimate Frisbee with a group of young single adults. They play every Thursday apparently. My friend goes and always invites me so I decided to give it a try. At first I was hesitant but it turned out okay. Afterward, the annoying weird kid attached to me like a blood starved leach and did not leave me side until I was finally able to remove myself from the party. Despite his shock at find out how old I was, he still asked for my number. I was a little offended when he asked when I had been on my mission and upon my reply he immediately came back with a shocked, “whoa!” Yeah, he is a winner. Whatever, I was nice and gave him my number. Just after I left the parking lot, don’t think he didn’t call me because he totally did. My friend answered because I was driving.

Okay, before we left however, another guy overheard my conversation with the leach and realized that I grew up in Vegas. As it turned out, he also grew up in Vegas! So, we chatted and became fast friends. He immediately got out his phone and added me on his facebook. He was cute too…and only like a year and a half younger than me. So acceptable!

Well, after all of that fun, we went to get some food with some of the gang and then just my friend and I headed over to Country dancing. As soon as we walked in the door, this good looking guy said that he recognized my friend. We all chatted, I smiled, and he promised to dance with the both of us before the night was through. I immediately went into the bathroom, just to find out that I had a big old green something, right between my teeth! How embarrassing! Needless to say, hot man from the door, did not dance with me. I only danced a few dances, none of which are worth mentioning. My friend however, was vibing all over the place that night. She was giving out her number left and right and I’m not gonna lie, it was pretty entertaining to watch. So…that’s how it’s done?! I watched the master, learned, and I’m ready for another night out!

Speaking of going out though…guess who just started talking to me on facebook. I am right now chatting with Mr. Shoot the Tube and we are planning our excursion! Yay!! Plus, my number was handed out to the older gentleman this week who is supposed to call me for a date. Good things this week, I know it. I also had a really amazing moment this week with a guy, where time just stood still. It was awesome but I can’t describe it. Maybe someday I will tell you, but I can’t right now. Just know that I am still smiling!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Up For Anything

What a crazy weekend! I love those weekends that just keep you hopping all day and night, every day. That’s kind of how this last weekend went. Now that it’s Monday, I don’t know what to do with myself. Well, I do have some plans for later but we can get to that in awhile. Let me just tell you about my fun weekend for now. Well, obviously on Friday I went on my date. He was sure to get me home in plenty of time for my night plans. Those plans turned out to be just what I needed! I took two friends and drove on down to Provo. Remember a few months back when I went to a stand up show at Comedy Sportz? Well, I went to see my same friend perform stand up at Muse Music. He and two of his friends were up that night.They were HILARIOUS! It was so great to laugh until my cheeks hurt and to just be in the moment!

(this is my comedian tiny form!)

After the show I took the long drive home (the scenic route in fact, due to construction). Then my friend and I ate some delicious ice cream from the good old Arctic Circle, and talked in my car. I had to head home and to bed for an earlyish Saturday morning.

So…Saturday morning I had some plans to hike with a girl I know. Her brother and sister came along, as well as a guy friend of her sister's and a teenager he works with. We decided to do the Lake Mary trail in Big Cottonwood Canyon. I have been there twice lately but I hadn’t been to the other two lakes…Lake Martha and Lake Catherine. So, we went to all three and ended up having a fun time. It was gorgeous!!! The wild flowers were amazing! I love being out in nature and I had a few moments alone on the trail to just reflect and thank God for the beauty that I was surrounded by. Loved it!

On the way down the trail I had the opportunity to get to know the guy friend a little better. We made plans for the future to go, “shoot the tube.” He’s already done it and I really want to. My guy friends are always talking about it so I would love to give it a try! As we were nearing the final part of the trail, a storm rolled in. The thunder was really awesome but then it began to rain small drops. Then it began to pour. And then…it hailed! By the time I reached the bottom, I was soaking wet and freezing cold! It was great though; all part of the experience. We hiked over four miles total.

After coming home from the hike and drying off, I headed out to the gym where I had a fabulous two hour workout. It was great but I was super sore afterward. I came home and immediately got myself ready for a night of fun. I was supposed to go to a pool party with my friend but she was out with her boyfriend and said she would meet me there later.

Later finally came and I headed over to some random guy’s house that I don’t know. I met some new people and enjoyed a little pool time and some sweet, sweet hot tub time! I hung out there with a couple of guys I had just met and we had some great conversations in which I pretended to be much younger than I really am. They were pretty young. I just wanted to practice my flirting techniques and such. Not long after in fact, one of them made me a most delicious s’more in the fire pit. So, swimming, hot tubing, men, chocolate, all under the stars…it was great! My body needed that hot tub after what I put it through all morning!

Finally Sunday came around and I went to church. One of the men in our bishopric spoke and it was such a great talk! He talked about enjoying the journey…enjoying the climb…living in the moment, etc. It was a great reminder for me and I vowed to enjoy that day and every moment that I can. After church and choir practice I hung out with a couple of my guy friends for awhile and just talked and laughed with them and had a wonderful time! We made plans to go to a fireside last evening.

The fireside was held at the University of Utah Institute with Alex Boye speaking. He is pretty funny! He also has a wonderful spirit when he sings. It was fantastic! When it was over, I ran into another guy friend and chatted with him for quite some time while the boys waited for me. On the way home I had to make a call to my other guy friend and then he just kept talking to me so we talked for over an hour. We laughed, I almost cried, we talked about the future and right now, and everything else in between. It was really good. This is what finally brought my weekend to a close.

It was nice to be out this weekend. It was fun to hang out with friends and to meet new people. I didn’t necessarily make any new dating contacts, or give out my number, but I feel like it was successful anyway. This week is already filling up with more fun plans as well. I love life and living it and enjoying each moment…they won’t come back but they are nice to look back on with a smile!

Friday, August 6, 2010

#9...Mr. Mafia

Today finally came; the day that would start this project anew and get me moving forward once again. I can’t wait until I break double digits, seriously! During the morning hours as I waited and worried, I went to the gym and worked out. It was good to let out some of my stress in such a way. At the same time, I became more and more anxious as I anticipated what was ahead. I thought of all of the horror stories of guys trying to kill or rape girls that they meet online. I thought of the reasons that he isn’t good for me. I didn’t know if I was attracted to him and I fretted over how I was going to later have to dispose of him. Then I felt like a user. Then I remembered that one of my guy friends tells me I worry too much. So, I took a deep breath and told myself to be in the moment and to enjoy now…to open my eyes to any potential or possibility and not to worry about what the future would hold.

So, I calmed myself down and took my time getting ready for the date. He finally called and came and picked me up (seriously, this is breaking the rules of online dating and I was hesitant but felt okay about it in this situation…if I had had any bad feelings about it, it wouldn’t have happened). This way my parents could get a look at his car and license plate number. I also emailed my mom a picture of him and told him his profile name and what site we were on. These are important things to do, no matter how safe you feel. You HAVE to take precautions…especially with online dating!

Anyway, Mr. Mafia…who loves guns and owns several….came and picked me up just after 1:30 pm. He is in the military, hence the name. He also wants to go into security and is very big on protecting people, and on guns….if I haven’t mentioned those yet. I was hoping for a hug but got nothing, nor did he open my car door for me…dang. Well, we drove off in search of a good park for walking. We found one in no time and set off on the path.

We talked and walked and it was just fine. We talked about all sorts of things, some which were interesting (scuba diving) and some that made me want to go to sleep, or go home (the end of the world, i.e. doomsday!). He is VERY big on this last topic. It is his favorite I think. I tried to keep an open mind though and join in with positive comments where I could. I like that he is so patriotic, as he is, but as with anything in life, there is a limit that if one exceeds, makes things rather excessive. I think he has the potential to be a little overboard in this area, although I see his point on many things. Nonetheless, it’s not something that I personally want to dwell on. I know that we are in a bad situation right now. I know that things are not getting any better. I know that we all need to do our part to make things right. But I also want to ENJOY life!!

Anyway, the walk was okay. Not that he was good looking or anything, but it would have been nice if he held my hand or something. I had it there, available, just waiting there all lonely! Haha. In his pics online, he had quite the muscles going on. All day I had looked forward to a good big hug from him. Then he walked up and I was like, “oh…he’s little!” Well, he is just much shorter than I thought. He had muscles though. And while he was okay looking, I didn’t find him attractive at all. Maybe on further acquaintance, if I were interested in a further acquaintance. Either way, sometimes a girl needs a little physical contact with a man too, ya know? I know you married friends of mine probably take it for granted but when you are a 30 year old single female living in Utah, you take what you can get and appreciate even a little somethin. This did not happen today….not even a little bit!

So, moving on, after the walk when we got into his car he opened the door for me. I though, whew, there is hope. I know that’s not a big deal but I think it is so hot for a man to act all gentlemanly like that. Mmmm. We wanted ice cream and got to talking about different types of ice cream which led us to this amazing gelato place nearby.

It was de-lish! We sampled several flavors and finally settled on what we wanted. We sat down for a bite and continued our conversation. I was glad at that point that we were not still talking about our corrupt government and the end of the world but more interesting things, like me! Just kidding, we talked about him too. We stayed awhile and then decided to head home. We took a detour however and drove through Daybreak, as he had never been. It’s a fun little community that is different from the other communities here in Salt Lake City, so we took a look around. Good times. Then he drove me home.

When we got back into his car to go home, he did not open the door for me again. Sad day. When we arrived at my house he made no move to get out of the car so I said goodbye and tried to look as hot as possible as I walked up my ghetto drive to the front door. Well, that was that. He was nice. He sounded like he wanted to get together again in the future. I can’t say that I’m real interested but I wouldn’t turn him down just yet. Maybe he doesn’t think I’m quite as pretty in person however, since he didn’t in any way want to touch me! Hmmm, we’ll see what happens I guess.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

He Made Me Smile

Date #9…tomorrow afternoon. I have plans in the evening with some cool girls so this guy had to take the afternoon slot. I will tell you about it after the fact because I don’t want to give anything away. Let me tell you about him for a minute though. I told you that I had been online again and waiting for something to happen there. I really am trying…promise! I’m trying to get these dates in any way possible, cause that’s the deal. Well, any decent and respectable way that is! So, I’ve been emailing this guy the last few days. He seemed normal enough. I do have a couple of concerns which have to do with my top ten. I will post those in a few. Despite this though, I think this is a good chance for practice for me and a good opportunity to just see what might happen or where this might go.

Previously, I have mentioned my discomfort with online dating. Have I made that clear yet? Haha! It just doesn’t seem to get any more comfortable with me. All day I have had this uneasy feeling. I get sort of sick thinking about it sometimes. Anyway, I’ve been worried about what to do with this guy. I knew that I did not want to continue writing him much longer without talking to him and meeting him, etc. So, today I gave him my phone number and tonight he called. Really quickly though, I have to finish the subject of my concerns before moving on to my phone call.

Not only is it unsettling for me to talk to a guy online without really knowing him, I also have a hard time concentrating on several. I have been writing a few guys actually (are ya proud??) this week and I finally just focused on this one because I liked him the best. I thought earlier that I wasn’t being very open minded though, and that I need to keep several doors open. Sometimes I honestly just struggle with having several guys talking to me because as I have just mentioned before, I just want ONE. It is so hard to explain my problem with that on here because who wouldn’t want 5 million guys giving her attention, right?? Now I just sound silly. Nonetheless, it’s just been weird for me. I think it’s partly due to my attachment for my friend which I need to sever. Anyway, I’m trying and I’m keeping my options open and as I was talking to him, something he said reminded me of The Bachelor/Bachelorette, so I just prettended that I was the Bachelorette and now I feel much better,  haha! I wrote another guy back today, despite his weird questions to me that seem endless. They kind of annoy me but other than that, he is a nice guy. So, who knows?

Okay, tonight though, Man #1 on my current online list, gave me a call. My phone kept cutting out eventually so I had to wander the street in front of my house for two hours while we chatted it up. He has a nice voice. Whew! The last online guy was out the window from the first second I heard his voice. Well, not to be judgmental, it’s just that he used that weird grandma voice cause he thought it would be funny, remember? But it wasn’t funny at all. It was disturbing! Anyway, this guy has a nice voice. Check.

Obviously we talked for quite a long time and I could tell I was making a good impression. Again, he was super nice and I like a lot of things about him so far, but some of his ideas and directions in life, may not be exactly where I’m headed. But still, I am willing to give it a shot for awhile to see if I feel any differently later. I’m trying to keep Alisa Goodwin Snell’s advice and give him a chance for a little while. We will see what happens. We planned to get together for tomorrow. Good, the waiting and fretting can be over with and finally, I will be making more progress toward my goal once again. The drought seems to be lifting.

Oh, you want to know why he made me smile? Okay then. Well, he was asking me if I had been in any relationships (I hate that question, can’t we just wait a little longer before asking it??) and of course I don’t have a great history there. This is always an awkward and touchy subject for me, I’m not gonna lie. He was nice about it though. But before I told him that he wondered (nicely) why I hadn’t gotten married yet. He said, “You are obviously a very pretty girl….” Oh wow, that was so nice to hear from a man! He hasn’t seen me in person yet though. BUT, I am generally not very photogenic either so maybe that’s a good thing. Anyway, it made me smile!

Finally, I mentioned my top ten things that I am looking for in a man quite some time ago. I said I would post it when I finished but then I lost my list! I finally found it recently however so I thought I would share. The top five are not negotiable! Here it is:

1. Puts God first in his life

2. Hard-working/driven

3. Family oriented

4. Respectful and gentlemanly

5. Good tempered.

6. Values education

7. Fun sense of humor

8. Likes travel and adventure

9. Into music and the arts

10. Attractive/Into health and fitness.

So, there you have it. That’s my husband in a list! Any thoughts?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

When All Else Fails...Resort Back to the Internet!

Seriously, is the only way to get a date around here through the internet? This is ridiculous! First let me further explain my comment in the previous post about older singles. They have these groups on facebook and such for meeting other mid-singles. Well, among these are a few mid-single lunch groups. On them they give specific warnings such as the following:

“This is just lunch, not speed dating. Enjoy conversation with singles of both sexes while we try out different restaurants around Salt Lake and talk about things to do on the weekend.” They reiterate several times that it is not for dating!

I’ll give you something to do on the weekend, get a freakin date!! So, I met this guy as I mentioned and he does all of these group activities but never dates. It’s his responsibility to be asking girls out. What’s the problem? Why is it so bad to go there to meet someone? Why can’t we all just admit that we are getting older, still single, and want a date/spouse! Sometimes they act like it’s horrible to mention or want. It’s not. We should want it….that’s Okay!

Alright, there’s my rant on that. I’m going to move on now. It seems that just because I started a blog stating that I would date 40 guys this year, didn’t exactly change my luck in getting dates. Somehow this hasn’t just magically happened for me. That’ okay though, I still feel like along the way I am learning tons and doing far better than I have in the past. Progress is progress. Still, it is beyond frustrating and depressing sometimes to feel like you are never good enough for guys to ask you out! I’ve lost all this weight, really put myself out there, and tried to learn new things, etc. Yet, I find myself on Friday nights checking out the internet dating sites that I am so opposed to.

I’m still trying to keep my options open, obviously. I don’t do a whole lot to contact guys online anymore. I tried…I’m done. Still, I have my free account and do what I can with it. I recently changed out my pictures and as a result, have gotten quite a few new hits. Also, the emails are starting to pour in like none other. I can’t say that they are incredibly exciting but some of them are quite entertaining. Let’s take a look at some of the most recent treasures:

“How is it possible for you to be a single woman? You are stunning and seem like an amazing person! I am an equal mix of dorky, witty, creative, master smile planner and athlete with sprinkle of sensitive.
Something about you whispers amazing, maybe its the adorable girl next door thing, what ever it is it makes me smile :) I hope you are doing really well and hope you say hi. :)”

…Aww, he drew me a smiley face. Mr. Smiley here is a master smile planner. What is that???

Okay, I love getting questions like this as well:

“Well what attracts you to guys? What are your favorite pasttimes? And name one of your pet peeves about guys? oh and if you had a $1,000 what would you spend it on?”

…Hmmm, do I know you? I told him that guys who ask me weird questions are my pet peeves. Just kidding, I really didn’t. I’ve actually been quite nice to this one, despite the fact that he lives in Wyoming. I let him know that that was pretty much one of the worst places I could think of. Still, he wrote me back. Nice guy, I just hate weird questions like that when I haven’t really even talked to the person.

Several others have just left me the message, “Hi.” I reply with, “Hi.” Sometimes I don’t reply, like to this one persistent fella that just keeps trying. I finally blocked him. I just couldn’t do it. Anyway, good times on the old internet. I guess we’ll see if I get a date out of it or not. I’m just looking for some dates, that’s all. Lunch tomorrow…but I’m not allowed to get any numbers or anything so we’ll see how successful it turns out. The next supposed set up is going to be worked on in a couple of weeks so I’ve got some time to catch up with a few thousand in between. Any ideas????

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Bored Games

Yes, I know how to spell. My Master’s degree wasn’t completely in vain! Here’s the thing though. This project has made me more open. I promised, well in a way, to be more open-minded and not to turn opportunities away. Because of this, I often find myself saying yes to activities that I would normally be more hesitant to accept invitations for.

I had a great morning yesterday hiking with a few friends. The hike was beautiful and the company delightful. It’s so great to be able to laugh with people…or to just be extremely silly! We found a small cave and climbed inside. We heard some people nearby and decided to make noises like howling and such. It was fun for a second.

Anyway, on my way home I received a text from this guy I met at that mid-single’s lunch a couple of weeks ago. He asked what I was doing later on. At first I was freaking out inside and then I quickly calmed myself down and had a little conversation with myself. I said “Self, you cannot turn down a date. Number nine has been long awaiting you. You are a slacker and even though you are not interested in any way in this nice fellow, you need to accept if he asks you. After all, it would be good practice. And that’s all; it’s practice and you need it.!” Well, how could I say no after that little talk? So I was fully prepared to accept him when he texted me back and did not ask me out on a date, but invited me over to his house for one of his game nights. He does these often and has mentioned me maybe coming to one in the past. I thought about it and decided that it would be a great opportunity to meet and mingle with an older single crowd.

I enlisted the company of a friend nearing 30 and we planned for an interesting evening…not knowing what to expect in the least. My gamer friend was very frustrating. I almost didn’t go as he so rudely kept me waiting ALL day for an address and time for the event. Finally, a little after 9pm, my friend and I set out. Immediately upon our arrival, dread set in. The only people there were my guy friend/acquaintance, and his 2 friends who were married to each other. He had a closet packed with board games that he was excited for me to view. I only recognized one of them…thanks to my fabulous Provo friends who sometimes play games with me. Finally one other girl showed up and we played the game that I was familiar with. My friend was acquainted with none of them but quickly caught on to this one.

As it turns out, these people are pretty serious about their games. Whenever my friend and I would try to make a hint of fun or joking, they just looked at us kind of confused. They strategized and concentrated, squelching my personality and boring me to an almost early death. When the game finally ended, my friend asked if we could leave as she “had to get up early.” Thank goodness for her boldness. I felt trapped and was unsure how to get out of there. She saved the day and we made a quick escape, vowing silently to never return. These people lacked personality and a sense of humor. I was seriously worried that I might hold this guy’s cards the wrong way and he would be angry. Yikes. All night I had nightmares that he kept inviting me out. Now, I am freaked out and I like where I am at and I never want to go back. Don’t make me!!

Okay, I know that all older single’s are not that way but the more I try to get involved with them, the more I see that they seem to have something against dating. I will explain this further at a later time but it’s a little bit frustrating. It is so obvious to me why they are not married. Well, not all of them of course because I am there too. I’m not trying to generalize, I am talking about the group that I was with the other day. They are boring people!! Also, I don’t feel real comfortable going to church with them either because the wards are ridiculously huge. The ‘other’ girl last night goes to the ward I was thinking of attending next. There are four relief societies in her ward. I don’t want to feel like a number somewhere. I want to feel a part of a close knit group, like I do know. I want to feel needed and accepted. I want to get to know people and help them to feel needed and accepted as well. How does that happen in such a large setting? I just don’t feel good about it at this time. Maybe later…

NUMBER NINE?? Well, a member of the stake presidency stopped by the house earlier to ask my dad if I would be interested in being set up. That’s kind of funny. Apparently he knows a guy. He is way super older than me which freaks me out a little but I know that I have to be open minded there too….especially since I like someone who is probably freaked out by my old age. Anyway, I totally trust this guy so we’ll see if it happens. I’ve noticed however, that 99% of people that say they are going to hook me up, don’t. It is a rare occurrence. There might be another possibility abroad (in Southern Utah) in a few weeks as well. So, stay tuned my friends, it’s not over yet. I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve and this old girl will get her 40 dates and a husband yet!