People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Fear and Contemplation

I have news, thoughts, and some of my feelings to share with you today. News first? Okay. Well, I pretty much have #3 bagged and ready to go for this week. What day, I have no idea yet. I’m still waiting on him to decide when he wants to make himself available for me. Who is this guy you ask? Well, despite all of my complaining and fears about the internet…that’s exactly where he is from. Well actually, he is from Salt Lake City but I met him online. Once I changed my profile pic he noticed me and commented on my amazing profile. We have written back and forth a few times and last night I gave him my number and we texted for quite some time.

What’s this guy’s story? Well, he’s another divorcee with a son. Family man #2?? Just kidding, we’ll find a new name for this one. He’s a fun guy so far, that’s for sure. What I like about him is that I can be totally flirty and fun with him in an appropriate way, yet still learn the facts about him. Last night he was preparing a talk for church today and I was preparing a lesson. It was somewhat refreshing to put our fun flirting aside and be able to talk about those things for a few minutes. I’m hoping this is a good sign about him. Despite all of this, I still have my apprehensions. First of all, he’s divorced. Secondly, I’m not sure he has a plan for his life…we will find out later. Thirdly, I just don’t know because I have only talked to him online and through text. It will be nice to meet him and see how I feel then. Funny story though, I noticed that on his profile he has a goal to date 30 girls this year. Haha, I didn’t tell him that I sooo 10 upped him on that one! Anyway, I will keep you posted; he’s trying to find something for us to do. I guess he didn’t like all of my suggestions. Speaking of dating ideas, I will post some of my findings soon so keep reading, you might learn something!

Alright, are you ready for my thoughts and feelings? I just feel like I need to write right now so I’m taking it out on you! This project has caused me several times to step back and evaluate myself, my life, and what is right for me. I know, I know…I have only just begun. At the same time, I keep wondering, is this me? Flirting and dating lots of men sounds like a dream right? Don’t get me wrong, I love getting attention from men. Good attention anyway, that makes me feel good about myself and not gross. Anyway, it’s exhausting and several factors are always missing from those dreams that when real life happens, you realize were left out of the scene. One of those factors is dealing with men who might be interested in you but that you are not interested in back. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone else’s feelings but lets be honest, this has to be a selfish game. By that I mean, I have to do what’s going to be best for me in the long run. It’s hard to figure out how to let someone down gently. Next factor-how do I go about this without considering every guy as just another number to add to my ticker?? Sometimes I think, oh well, at least I got #2 done. Well, that one was important, just for the fact that I needed my ticker to stop saying 1 men done…as if I didn’t know how to speak English. Seriously though, sometimes I feel like I am looking at guys as just another number when what I am really looking for in life is substance and a good man. I’m sure that I will find what I’m looking for. I just don’t want to lose myself in the process…that’s all.

P.S…I got a call back from Nice Guy #2 tonight. I was at a meeting and missed the call but he left a message. I really don’t know what to do. He didn’t invite me to call him back or leave a number so I don’t plan on doing so. This means that he could be calling again though. What do I do???


PrincessKatie said...

I think he needs to be called Superman k? ALso I woudl jsut send him a texzt and say I am sorry i missed your call i Had a church meeting tonuight and just play it off cute and see wht he says. I do find that interesting about the 30 girls thing. Somtime you are going ot have to tell him haha

Tacy said...

Just tell him you are going on a date with someone else! I know it is hard. I had a roommate at Snow College whose brother liked me. I know this because he told one of my other roommates he liked me. I went on a couple of dates with him and while he was a nice, good guy, he just wasn't my type. He sounds kinda like you guy number two--just too boring for me. I tried to give him subtle hints, but let's face it--guys are dumb! They don't get things unless you totally spell it out for them. I finally just totally started ignoring him. I know it made him feel bad, but there was nothing else I could do, I felt like. It was sad in a way, but like I said, he just wasn't my type, and like you said, you do have to do what's best for you. Just try and have fun on your next date and then see how things go!