People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Third Time's a Charm?

I have now had my heart significantly broken three times in the last year. Ugh! I guess the more you date, the higher the chances of such an occurrence. Still, it doesn’t make it any easier. I just hope that this is the last time. They say things come in three’s right? Well, I’ve experienced my three with a few smaller disappointments along the way. Can I just be done now??

I was going to post last week about Valentine’s day. It went okay. But now it’s over and so is my relationship. He just wasn’t the right guy for me and I knew if for a long time, I just didn’t want to do anything about it. I finally got up the courage this weekend however. It’s over. Even though I did the breaking up, I still feel really heartbroken. Crazy huh! You just can’t win in the dating game!

I know the drill though. Time is really the only cure. Time, tears, and goals. It helps me to focus on my future, to stay active, and to do my best to find hope for my future when it always seems rather hopeless just after a relationship. I was talking to a friend about this yesterday. We decided that it really doesn’t take long to be with someone and wonder what you did before you met them. I felt that right away with Mr. Boyfriend. It was like he had always been in my life. I liked having him there, yet I really want for much more than what we had. I promise I am justified in what I am thinking and saying and those closest to me felt the same way, but I had to make the decision to end it for myself. I just don’t like talking about it much.

The first thing anybody asks when you break up is, “what happened?” I do it too. But I don’t like explaining to others. I just want to move on. I want to wake up in the morning and not have to re-live the disappointment and have to remind myself to be brave and hopeful...and to get past fresh tears that I thought I had moved beyond the day before.  The thing that gives me the most courage to do that is knowing that breaking up with him opens me up to finding the guy who will be right for me. Who will be more than just nice to be with, but will be a good match…a good partner. I know it won’t always be easy but still…I do look forward to meeting him! And hopefully soon! And would it be too much to ask at this point in my life for him to be rich?? :-)