People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Not So Super...Man #3

After quite a lot of work on my part, I finally went on a date with Superman. I have to say that the effort that I had to exude to make this happen, really dampened my spirits before the date even took place. He seemed very noncommittal about going out in the first place, yet he said that he wanted to. So, he didn’t know what to do, yet when I suggested things, he threw them out the window. Hello….what do you want me to say?? I can’t read your mind, I don’t have super powers like you! Finally however, we settled on dinner Thursday evening and then going from there. He had some other things going on in the late afternoon so I was never sure when exactly this date would occur. I decided to go home from work, hurry and work out, then get ready. Well, right after I finished my workout, he called and said he was ready to go. Are you kidding me? You don’t give a girl that kind of notice, really. I asked him if he could give me some time. He seemed a bit confused but said, “ok, if you feel like you need to get ready, that’s fine.” Well, that made me feel a little bit dumb for getting ready for him but I explained that I had just finished working out. Anyway, we finally decided to meet shortly (I would hurry and get ready) at Johnny Carino's. Not his top choice but oh well.



As a brief side note, I prepared for the date earlier in the day by reading the chapter in Dr. Phil’s book about internet dating. He gives several helpful pieces of advice for meeting someone offline. I followed just about all of the rules. He says to meet in a public place, do not go to your house or theirs; do not ride anywhere with him in his car; don’t give out personal information, and make sure that someone knows where you are and when to expect you back. Thanks to my awesome sister and very good friend, I felt safe because they knew where I was and they checked up on me.

After a quick, normally unsatisfactory grooming, I went out the door. I met him in the parking lot and was immediately grateful that I didn’t take too many pains to look good. He was okay in that department but slightly resembled Mr. Rogers (love that man but his sense of style is a little outdated). He kind of reminded me of an old man, just in his clothing. He was well taken care of though…he didn’t smell horrible (nor good) and he was clean.

As dinner progressed, our conversation flowed just fine. During dinner I could tell that his personality was a little over the top for me however. Basically, we just didn’t click there. I mean, it seemed like it because I can make mine click with anyone when I’m being nice, but really, we are quite different. You want an example? Okay fine. One day before I met him I replied to something he said with, “sweet sauce.” Instead of just saying sweet, or awesome, or cool, it’s fun to add a little sauce…it’s what I do, mostly because that’s what my brothers do and it has stuck with me. Anyway, he made fun of me for saying it but I told him to try it because it’s fun to say. Now, he can’t stop saying, “sweet sauce” but he never says it in the appropriate context. It’s like an American trying to throw out the word, “eh” as if they were Canadian but they don’t know when to say it. Anyway, he called me last night and in a weird, old lady voice was like, “is sweet sauce there?” He kept this going for quite some time while I sat there completely disheartened that I had actually pushed so hard to get a date with this guy. What can you do at that point though, I had to follow through.

Despite some of his unusual personality traits, we were still able to have conversation and he was still a gentleman, performing all of his gentlemanly duties just like the other men I went out with (opening doors, letting me walk in front of him, paying for my food, and complimenting my cute smile! Haha). Let’s get back to where this conversation progressed though. Somehow, because of him, we ended up talking a lot about other people we have dated and he in particular brought up his ex-wife quite a bit. Umm, really? Anyway, I suddenly felt that I was a contestant on the bachelor speeding up the dating process by getting right down to the deeper questions while preparing for elimination. If only it was one of those hot bachelors though…. He asked about my last serious relationship or how many I had been in, etc. This is a touchy subject for me and not one that I necessarily want to reveal to someone I hardly know. At any rate, I’m about to tell you so I guess I’ll have to get over it. Confession: I’m 30 years old and I have never been in a relationship. I’ve dated lots of guys, once or twice and that’s about it. I’m usually the ‘friend’ not the girlfriend. It’s a little embarrassing…a lot, and not something I really know how to explain when he asks me why. Why? Because guys have never been interested, because I was shy, I don’t know??? I can’t fix it; I just want to move on and try to figure out how this whole thing works. You have to start somewhere…even if you are 30.

After dinner he asked if I wanted to head over to Barnes and Noble which was right next door so I agreed. We walked over and there were tons of people there. Guess it was book fair night or something.

 Anyway, in theory I think this is a great date idea. It just didn’t work for me with him because at that point I was ready to be done with him. Anyway, we eventually made our way to the self-improvement section where we found some books about what your personality type is. We found a fun little book that was full of quizzes pertaining to your personality type. With book in hand, we made our way to a sitting area and spent some time giving each other the quizzes. They were interesting and fun. I’d certainly recommend something of this nature for a date because you not only get to know more about the person, but it’s different and kind of fun. I enjoyed it at first but when the conversation turned to his ‘ex’ it felt like the night would never end. I’m not trying to invalidate his stories or feelings, but it was a lot to take in for a first meeting. Finally, we made our way back to our cars, hugged and were on our way. This morning he texted me with, “hope you have a good day.” I replied with “thanks.”

On my way home from the date, I was happy to be doing just that, going home. He is nice, just not for me. I know it may seem judgmental of me to say this, especially in light of last week’s date, but sometimes you really just know that kissing that face is almost an impossibility for you and you can’t foresee that in any lifetime. I’m sure many, many guys have felt the same about me so, it’s just a reality of dating. Not only that, I could not live with random, sporadic, and sudden outbursts of, “sweet sauce,” in some high pitched, granny voice. No thank you! Thanks for the date Superman, but this girl doesn’t need saving.

4 comments:

Christine said...

That's right! "this girl does not need saving!" Also, I'm truly sorry that superman ruined sweet sause for you...I know that you loved it. By the way, Spoon Me is the best thing the world! Maybe you should post something about it just because it's fabulous!!!

PrincessKatie said...

sweet sauce sounds like he was maybe a littel lame sauce. glad to hera the update. KEEP YOUR chin up it will be worth it in the end.

Livin it up said...

Christine...it is on the list, everyone should know about that place...so good! And hey, there comes a time in everyone's lives when they must part with their favorite phrases. It's time for me to move on. It's okay, times are changing anyway and it's about time I find a new phrase to aquaint myself with and see if we can form a lasting relationship.

Katie...you are pretty much right. He was just different. There is someone out there for him who will compliment his unusual sense of style and personality but that girl can't be me. Thanks for the encouragement, it's always needed after any date I think!!

Tacy said...

I'm sorry this guy didn't turn out as great as you may have liked. Maybe someone needs to give him a lesson on how to go on a date without mentioning his ex. Maybe that is why he is still single. I mean, everyone knows you don't do that, don't they? Even people who have never had an ex. It's just common knowledge. At least, I thought it was! No one wants to hear their date talking about an ex. Anyway, at least you found a fun date idea that maybe you can use with someone else. I know it is probably frustrating, but just keep at it!