People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Mr. Keeper #13...and Happy Anniversary!

First of all, it’s been awhile. Honestly, I have had so, so many thoughts flying through my head lately, I haven’t know what to write or where to start. And of my current situation?? Yep, it’s been a little difficult to determine for myself, let alone to put out there on the internet. But, in honor of my one year anniversary at this project, I thought I’d do my best to decipher it on paper and to update you on what’s happening…whatever that is??

Here’s the thing. There is a boy…a man. I have been friends with him for a little while, not super long, but have known him for quite awhile. He’s super cute, really nice, and so, so fun to flirt with. On Christmas, I hung out with him and his fam most of the day. They live in the neighborhood and we are friends so yeah. When I wasn’t over at his house, he was texting me. Oh man, we have THE funniest conversations! All I can say, is that he chose texting me, over taking a nap…cause it was THAT good. We both were just laughing! I know this because he told me later.

Anyway, on Christmas night when I was leaving his house, he said, “I’m kinda sad you are leaving.” That made me smile of course. Then, we still texted again until after midnight….until we both fell asleep. I didn’t hear from him until Monday, when we texted off and on all day again, and then stayed up until nearly 2 in the morning. He finally informed me that it was, “past my curfew” so we said goodnight and I decided not to text him at all on Tuesday. I went to a friend’s house in Pleasant Grove that day anyway so I was busy. By yesterday morning, he couldn’t stand it anymore and first thing, texted and said, “Where are you? It’s been so, so long. ;)” Ha! So it does work. Sometimes you have to let them come to you, ya know? The advice is pretty sound there as well.

So, we texted a few times and then…he called me! Unheard of right? Cause you are not supposed to JUST text guys all the time. We talked for about a half an hour before we both had other appointments to get to. He promised to text me later…which he did. And then he called, AGAIN. He was on his way home from work so I was proud of him for not texting while driving. First of all, it’s unsafe. Secondly, it’s totally illegal here these days. So anyway, we talked for almost 2 hours while he made his way home in the snow storm. We had both had separate plans for the night but both decided not to go, due to the dumping on we were currently receiving. That’s okay though. He took a nap, then we texted some more. Finally, later, it had stopped snowing so crazy like and he said that we could do something. Well, I knew he had already shoveled his driveway to help his sister get unstuck. Plus, I did not want to go out of my house in the snow. Not last night anyway. So, I invited him over and he obliged.

Now, I know we didn’t go anywhere, and he didn’t pay for anything, but we are still labeling this number 13 because, he wanted to hang out with me, it was just the two of us, and well…I just am, okay! Mostly, we just built a fire (sort of) in my fireplace and sat by it talking. As the night drew on of course, we got closer and closer to each other until we were cuddling real nicely by the fire. Ahhh, delightful! Nothing better than snuggling by a warm fire with a hot man on a snowy night. We laughed, we didn’t cry, I took him on a trip through google maps…always fun ps…and a completely free trip and date!! Try it! And…he slept! Haha, yeah… He warned me he probably would before he came over. That’s okay though…I just laid there watching him sleeping wondering if this was really real. I was super happy and just at peace…for once lately, with how things are. I don’t really know how or what things are, but I was happy nonetheless. I know he’ll be around awhile and I guess we will just see where things go.

So, while my year is up with only 13 dates to show for it…I still feel like a winner. I’ve learned lessons that are invaluable and I can even see a man on the horizon. I’m smiling! Life is good. I’ll still be around though…to keep you posted, because I like to write anyway. And…I like YOU! Thanks for stickin around, and for being my cheer leaders! Without you, I may have given up and then where would I be? Building my own fire?? Lame!

Sunday, December 19, 2010


Remember # 12? Yeah so do I. He was nice, right? Last night I went to a party at my friend’s house. This is the same friend that hooked me up with this fine gentleman. Being mutual acquaintances of hers, we both showed up. He arrived shortly after me where I gave him a very friendly, “hello.” He looked at me strangely and quietly said, “hi” and walked away. Rude! I was a little put out so later when he was near me, I tried again with a, “hey, how are you?” Same strange look with little response. Great! I brought a guy friend along because he texted me minutes before I was leaving to see what I was up to. He was in the neighborhood and seemed like he wanted some company. So, I invited him along. While at the party, I explained to him the situation and that I thought it kind of rude of #12. I mean, it’s completely fine if you don’t like me, but we are all mature adults who should be able to be friendly toward one another, despite our lack of interest right?

Later into the evening, #12 came over and sat near me with his friend. He asked me my name, told me his name, and introduced his friend, then proceeded to ask me how I knew our mutual friend. Unbelievable! I was honestly dying a little bit as it became completely obvious that he had no recollection of me and who I was. Haha. What can you do but laugh right? Then he looked at me for a minute (probably due to my strange behavior at his questions) and suddenly a light went off in his head. He asked if I was the relief society president in her ward. I answered in the affirmative and he said, “Oh my goodness, we went on a date!!” He was highly embarrassed and rather friendly afterward, whew! At least I found the reason for his distant behavior. It wasn’t necessarily me, he just forgot who I was. That’s hardly comforting as I obviously wasn’t a very memorable date, but it made me laugh anyway!

It seems to be some sort of epidemic however. This occurrence awakened me to the realization that I am forgettable! Oh no!! Here is why I think so. I flirt with boys all the time. Honestly, I do. I have a small handful that I flirt with in different places and situations of which I am a part. Tonight for example, I went to dinner at a friend’s house. Actually, she is on a mission in New Jersey for the next 15 months but I hang out at her house sometimes. She has two brothers. One of them was the one who hung out with me last night. After the party we got hot chocolate and sat drinking it and talking for two hours. It was a lot of fun. Neither one of us is interested in the other however, but that is a good thing. Tonight, he and his older brother who is much closer to my age, way better looking, and significantly more fun to flirt with, were at the house. Older brother and I have some good times together. He once duct taped my shoe to my foot. Today he was snapping his scarf at me while I tried to steal it from him, and later on, when he stole my spot on the couch so I sat on the arm rest next to him, he kept trying to push me off… so I eventually just sat on his lap. He told me too though so no worries…I didn’t just sit on him! Anyway, he is fun but yeah, nothing there really. I honestly can’t see myself ever dating him and I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about me.

Besides these brothers, there are a few others who come around now and then and we have some good times. Tonight however, I reflected on this entire situation and wondered what it was about me that kept each of these guys from being interested in me. They don’t mind flirting and seem to like me that way, but when it comes to dating, I am not their pick. Why?? Well, I haven’t figured that out yet but I do mean to do some further investigation because let’s be honest, this cannot go on forever like this way! I need some real lovin’ one of these days!

Thursday, December 16, 2010


They say to be yourself. Word on the street is that unique is better than factory made. In fact, John Mason once said, “You were born an original. Don't die a copy.” Words such as these are semi-comforting as I sit in a room full of people, half girls, half guys, observing who they are and how they act while thinking to myself, “I am just not like these girls. It is just not me!” Such was the case last weekend at the comedy show I went to. Remember how I invited lots of people but many were unable to make it? I ended up going with my friend and her two roommates. We had a spectacular time together. These girls are a lot of fun, are interesting to converse with and have taste buds that match my own (Pita Pit is a great late night snack, mmm!!). As I sat waiting for the show to start however, I quickly became discouraged at my own sense of self. Maybe it was Provo, or maybe it was just me. I often feel like a daisy in a room full of roses. They are nice, but they are different, and roses seem to be more desirable to the greater population.

After taking notice of my nonconformities, I decided to forget about them and sit back and enjoy the show. It did not disappoint. As always, my friend and his buds were hilarious and entertaining. A good laugh is always the perfect cure for feeling out of place and somewhat spectacle. Afterward I waited around for him for quite some time while he visited with everyone else. Finally my turn arrived and we had a nice visit…talked about the good old days, hugged a few times, he kissed me and we were on our way. I told the girls that I like him because he kisses me every time I see him…haha. On the cheek of course! He is a good hugger though and I always get a few of those which are like tiny drops of rain in a seemingly endless drought. Any little drop is somewhat of a welcomed miracle!

I am daily reminded of the person I am. I feel like I am surrounded by a whole group of people who are alike and I am often on the outside, trying to force my way into their circle. Part of this comes from not growing up here and therefore, naturally viewing life differently and having experienced life in a different way. It’s not bad, just different. Most of the time however, I am grateful for my differences. I want to be me, not someone else. I like who I am and don’t necessarily have the desire to conform. In fact I will gladly take Judy Garland’s advice to “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” I just hope that there will be a man that likes my unique, quirky, crazy self and be okay with stepping outside of the normal box to choose a daisy over a rose.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Planner

For quite some time I have taken up the role of, “the planner.” Reasons for this may vary but I attribute it mainly to the fact that I am of the philosophy that you can’t sit around and wait for life to happen to you…you have to create the life you desire. I also know that generally the life most people desire does not involve sitting at home in a friendless existence night after night. Don’t get me wrong, there are not many things I love more than my alone time, but that is because I have variety in my life to compare it to. If I had no company at all, my alone time would seem very lonely.

Back to the story though. In every group of friends or acquaintances, someone has to be the planner of all things fun, right? I know that if I do not plan these exciting activities, no one else will…or else they won’t invite me to them. Honestly, I’m pretty sure that they do and that is exactly the case but no need to worry over that. The point is, over the last year especially, I have planned many fun and exciting field trips, inviting all sorts, and having fantastic times. I generally invite many different people and try to keep it somewhat random. At the same time, I have had several different groups of friends as constants on the list as well.

After some time, people stopped coming to my exhilarating outings. It was difficult to plan around everyone’s schedules and at times painful on the ego when not many came. Such was the case a few months ago at the last event I planned in my honor. Not many came and I thought, “So that’s what you think of me huh World?” As a result, I have not planned anything since. I have obviously been on a few outings but nothing too involved. Until now that is.

It’s not a big deal or anything. It’s just a few friends hanging out. Who, is the question however. Let me explain first. I am trying to help raise some money for a family in need. The father is dying, leaving behind two small children and a wife. One good friend who already had a charity event scheduled for this weekend kindly offered to donate some of their proceeds to this family. Now this isn’t just another lame sauce event. It is going to be ridiculously fun! So, being the friend I am, I decided to go and support him, as well as the family in need, by donating my own entrance fee. I invited everyone in town who is anyone (or who is on my facebook anyway) and personally invited a few to go with me. I began with one of my newest friends and together we decided to ask some of our guy friends as well.

Here is where the story gets interesting and I get to my point. I invited two guys that I knew would not come. For whatever reason they are not big on hanging out, dating, or going to social events. This was not a date situation however! Just so we are clear on that. I don’t think that I will EVER ask a guy out again. All of the advice on that situation seems to be quite sound from what I can tell of my own experimentation. Anyway, I knew these guys wouldn’t want to come but I gave them the option anyway. I was very casual about it, specifying that they did not HAVE to come but that it would be “good times.” The excuses that I received from them were more than ridiculous but at least worth a good laugh right?

The first man to reply was very sneaky. It’s hard to tell right off that he is a finalist for the “lame sauce excuses award” but read on. It took him a little bit of time to reply but when he did, he said he has a “family deal” that night so, since it is the busy month of December, he will be unable to attend. Sounds legit right? He was quite friendly, texted me back and forth a few times and we wished each other a fantastic week. Not long after, I reported my results to the other girl going with me. She informed me that it is on the night that they take his grandpa to dinner every week. Are you kidding me? I’m pretty sure the rest of his family would be okay without him, just this once! Haha so, strike for you Mr. Friend! Next.

Next we have the man who has to be THE hardest man to read on the planet. I have never been interested in dating him and never will be. We are however friends, somehow. Sometimes he seems to get my jokes, and sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes we are like BFF and sometimes we are hardly acquaintances. Sometimes he opens up, and other times he freaks out when I do, and suddenly has “to go.” Well, I guess Sunday I reached the friendly quota but I still thought I’d try my luck last night to see if he was still in super friendly mode. Mmmm, not so, so much. He was actually slightly neutral. I texted him about the event and he promised to call me as soon as he had a chance, to talk about the details.

When he did call, and I informed him that it would be held in Provo, the reply was more than a little entertaining. First, as he stumbled for words, he confessed that he doesn’t usually go to Provo. Weird since he graduated from school there and all. Anyway, he went on about how the traffic is always bad, etc. He said because of the time, he would have to drive alone and just wasn’t sure that he could commit to that…being in Provo and all. Ding, ding, ding, another candidate!! Wow, that one was pretty bad.

So, knowing that both of these fine young men my age and single were out of the question, I pressed on. I found two more who are checking their schedules, aka looking for something better to do or trying to think of the lamest excuse they can come up with. I think that in the future I will stick to girls. It’s less complicated, they know that I obviously don’t want to date them so there is no confusion there, and if they don’t want to go, they usually just say so…instead of coming up with something really ridiculous to say. Another lesson learned in the hazy world of men: just be honest, we can take it!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

An Experiment in a Refresher Course

Some of you have only joined me recently. Others who began with me have taken their journey elsewhere. Still others have stayed through good and bad, the ups and the downs of this crazy year. I began eagerly with hope and anticipation for what the year would bring. Now as I reflect, I believe it is time for a little refresher in the do’s of the dating and social world.

Everybody likes to be touched sometimes. It’s true. Touching a person, even in the smallest, and seemingly most insignificant way can say so many things, whether good or bad. It can also be one of the greatest affirmations of caring and interest in another human being. That is why it is one of the most significant love languages.

Having this knowledge, and having been made more aware of what the experts have to say on the matter, leads me to two conclusions.

Conclusion Number One: No one in the bible or any other scripture has experienced a famine to the magnitude that I have. My famine just happens to be lack of lovin! Okay, not just that…lack of personal contact in any way…including a simple and slight touch in passing. I am THIRSTY!!

Conclusion Number Two: Much of this famine is my own fault. As much as I know how important this is to many people, I still have yet to practice it in my daily interactions. And you know what they say, practice makes perfect. Yet, for some reason, I seem to be scared…too separated by our individual bubbles which, for some deeply rooted inner belief that I don’t fully understand, I believe cannot be penetrated. I know they can, but I feel stiff and awkward when it comes to things regarding touch. When I experience brief interludes of mass dating, I feel myself relaxing and opening up to the possibilities, but then the drought continues and my shell dries up and hardens into an impenetrable bubble once again.

So, on to the experiment. I still interact with men. I have friends of all genders, ages, and backgrounds. As a result, it’s time to crack the shell and reach out a little to mankind. It’s time to shake hands, touch arms, and embrace the world. Bring on the rain!

Friday, November 26, 2010

The Search Continues

In some ways, it’s my favorite time of year. In many others…I really dislike it! Being more aware of things you are grateful for and spending good quality time with family is irreplaceable. At the same time, I feel like I get really lazy and very lax about my goals. As a result, I mostly feel horrible and further, I feel horrible about myself. I LOVE to bake and cook. It’s one of my favorite things. The problem: I also LOVE to eat!! This time of year is the time for baking, and cooking, and drinking hot chocolate, and sitting by the fire. All very nice things for sure; especially if you are super skinny and never have to worry about your weight. They sound lovely but when you are constantly worried that if you are even in the same room with some sugar you will gain 10 pounds, it’s very stressful! So basically I’m trying to enjoy the good things about this time of year, but I’m also fighting hard to be who I want to be and stay on the course I want to be on.

About that course, let’s begin with an update on the men, shall we? Remember the guy who asked me out over facebook? The one who is mentally challenged in some way? Well, just the other morning I woke up and checked my email first thing. There I found a note from Mr. Facebook himself. He apologized about our date (I guess for not having taken me on one) and said that he forgot about our ages, and he is 21 and he thought that I was 32 so, “maybe we can just be friends.” Haha, so…rejected! That is quite alright though, even if it is still a slight sting just because he had to go and bring up my age…well, almost my age. I am not 32 yet…I still have a good 10 months, well 9 and some change, until that rolls around. It does make me wonder who told him how old I am though. There were only a very few people (about 3) that knew about our little chat. Hmmmm.

So, since I now have zero prospects for #13 again, I bet you are wondering how I am spending my Friday night. Well, I am sitting on my bed, composing another fabulous blog post while watching chick flicks by myself. How lame!! I told you, it’s not the best time of year for me. On top of that Thanksgiving was yesterday which of course never makes one feel good about themselves and today, while I started off really good, turned into another diet disaster since I was baking all day. Tomorrow is our annual family Christmas party for my mom’s side and we are in charge of the dessert. So, I made some delicious cookies and I tried a new recipe for Pumpkin Cheesecake. Now, I’m ready to have the whole thing over with just so I can have a new, fresh beginning again where I eat healthy and feel good about myself! But I am grateful that I could get a little baking in, it was fun!

The next question I guess, is where do I go from here? So, since I haven’t received a whole lot of input from you, and there are a lot of new people as well as quiet followers who don’t comment, now is your chance to speak up. Do you have any ideas for me to find new dating prospects? Any ideas for fun adventures that I should embark upon? Any ways for me to enjoy Winter when I really just want to survive it? I suppose I should end my hiatus from expertly advice and large crowds of single people, young and old for starters, and venture out. Sometimes it is so hard to find balance though. Too much of anything is unhealthy and that is my own expertly advice. Okay so what are your ideas?? Bring em on and I will do my best to try them out!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Next in Line Please

Do you ever have those moments where you know you should do something, but then you don’t? For example, I have known for quite some time that I really should cut back my internet time. Honestly, I really have. Yesterday I was hardly home at all, so when I finally finished with work, conferences, private lessons, and meetings, I took a few minutes to check my facebook. I had a friend online that started talking to me pretty quickly so I talked back. Only seconds later this boy that I don’t even know started up a chat with me. He friended me some time back and I accepted only because I found out he is in my ward. As relief society president, I am trying to get to know everyone in the ward, so I decided this one time, not to turn him away (even though that is my normal policy with strangers).

This particular young man (oh my goodness, I don’t even know how old he is…yikes!!) is very much akin to Special #11. It could be his twin in fact. Except it’s not. But you get the idea, right? Something just isn’t exactly altogether there with him. For example, he started chatting with me on facebook like we were bestest friends. I cannot remember a single word spoken to this boy, ever! Even so, I tried to be nice and humor him. The president of our men’s group got online just then. He is a very good friend that I have not talked with much in weeks. So, I opened another chat box for him and immediately asked who this guy was. Let’s just pretend that his name is John White for just a minute. I can assure you that it isn’t, but let’s pretend. I ask said friend, “Who is John White?” Friend says, “Uh, he is uh John White.” I replied, “Wow, that really clears things up for me, thanks!”

After some friendly joking around I came to find out that the boy is indeed, or was, a member of the congregation that we attend. He and his brothers are in fact special ed in some way. They are VERY nice people. I’m just trying to describe to you who they are. Friend thought it was pretty hilarious that this John was chatting it up with me like we were old pals. He told me that they guy wanted to ask me out. I laughed it off of course, hoping it wasn’t true. But alas, it was true! Dang it friend, why did you have to be right this time? John said to me, “being single sucks.” I said, “oh really? I kinda like it.” I thought I was quite hilarious in this clever little reply. Friend thought it was funny too.

Friend decided that I should transcribe my conversation for him, so I did. It made the situation a little more entertaining for me, and slightly less painful as I realized once again that this seems to be my lot in life. Anyway, eventually this John White said, “just saying if I asked you out would you?” What else could I do but say, “sure.” I did just that and it was settled. Friend was elated, though he thought I was only humoring him at first when I told him of my acceptance. He told me that John was jumping up and down for joy. Then…then John confessed that he doesn’t drive, and memories of #11 came flooding back into my mind. I took a deep breath and assured him that it was no problem.

I’ve been through this before…I can handle it again. I’m hoping in this case that practice doesn’t make perfect however. I’m hoping that one day, maybe some magical day in a distance future that is hard to make out, there will be a real handsome man, a good man with a ridiculously amazing sense of humor and enthusiasm for life and living it, a hard working, loving man that will set his eyes on me and never want to divert them. He will want to pursue me until there is no more need of pursuit and beyond. I won’t have to do all the work because he will do his share and I will be happy…and so will he. Someday. Some magical, distant, far away day.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Check It

Hey there friends, readers, random passersby...guess what! Tomorrow you can check me out at another location in addition to this one. My friend asked me to guest post on her blog and I finally got up the courage to do it. Her blog is LE-GIT. There is a button on my left side bar or you can check it out here:

The posts on this blog vary daily but are all centered around us fabulous women and tips that make our lives easier, more fun, healthier, creative, and pretty much just amazing! It's for single's and marrieds alike. Several posts do give tips on parenting which I like to either pass on to my friends, or use on my cute nieces and nephews. matter the post, you can be guaranteed enlightenment in some area or another. Hopefully such is the case tomorrow as well. Happy reading! I will post here soon about my most recent shenanigans.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I Love

Last week I held a relief society (the women’s organization in the LDS church) retreat at a cabin to the East of here in the mountains. It seemed to be a success with beautiful surroundings, lots of laughs, and more sugar than should ever be consumed in one sitting. The girls had fun…and so did I. Many of the girls I go to church with are quite a bit younger than me since technically, I am actually too old to be going to the young single adult wards anymore. Nonetheless, here I am. Most of the girls do not know my age, just that I am a little older than they…which brings me to my point. In church the day after our retreat, one of the girls that I spent a good deal of time with over the weekend, spoke about how much she loved our ward…how she was very hesitant to come to a single’s ward because of all the myths out there, but she was really grateful that our ward isn’t just students or a bunch of 30-40 year old single, lonely people. When she said that, it hit me pretty hard. I tried not to look shocked and finally was able just blow it off due to ignorance.

I’ve thought about this comment on several occasions this week and finally come to the conclusion that I am grateful for what she said. If she doesn’t think that I am old and lonely and crazy and boring, then I am a success! All that matters is that I am living life, enjoying it, and not falling into that category or those misconceptions about people my age. I think it is fantastic that she hung out with me all weekend and doesn’t know that I am over 30 or even lonely sometimes. Because I am. At the same time, I’m having fun and being me.

Today I was pondering life and it just hit me that I am actually REALLY grateful to be single right now. This has pretty much never happened to me but I could honestly say that I am grateful. I LOVE this time of year because it really causes reflection of the important things in life and how blessed we are. All of the things that I am grateful for came rushing to my mind. One of those is my singledom. I have a fantastic family and because I am single, I have more time to spend with them…especially my cute nieces and nephews. Some of those cuties are moving back to town in a couple of weeks and I cannot wait! I have so many plans…I hope they don’t get sick of me!

Many other benefits of my single status greet me each day. I can go wherever I want and do what I please whenever I want. I can live my life on my own whim and I kinda like it. I like being spontaneous. I like putting together cute packages for my friend on her mission and spending way too much money on them…not having to really answer to anyone but myself. I like being successful at my own life…all by myself. There are many benefits and I am grateful. So, instead of focusing on what I don’t have…I am going to focus on what I DO have. Then, I can make the most out of now and when the time comes for me to move on, I will eagerly do so. But for now…

Friday, November 5, 2010

A Book

The last couple of weeks have really held nothing worth writing about. Sad I Know. I should have updated you on my personal progress at least. On that note…I am almost through the third book in the Old Testament. Progress is progress right? I also just started a health competition with my relief society and I feel better already. I know those last 15 pounds will finally start to shed themselves. They really are the hardest. They hate me! Or they love me I guess because they don’t want to be rid of me! I still play in a local community symphony orchestra which is great practice for me. Right now I don’t have time to practice enough to audition for the one I want to be in so for now, this will do. We had a great concert last Sunday night and it was really enjoyable just to make some music. I love playing the violin! And…as far as the men thing goes, well…you know where I’m at there. I really just don’t care right now, sorry! There are too many other things to worry about.

About those other things, they are stressful. At church the other day, one of the speakers talked about having a balance in your life. I kept that in mind yesterday as I let myself pull into the library parking lot. I love the library…and book stores…and any place with good reading material! I’ve been wanting to go there for some time but have avoided books because I felt like I had sooo many other things that needed my attention. Lately however, I have really wanted to learn Spanish. Since I can’t afford to take a class just yet, I thought I’d see what fun CD’s the library had to offer on the subject. I drive around a lot for work and I figured that it would be a useful way to spend my travel time. While I was already in the building, I couldn’t just not look at the books. I let myself take a peek to see if a certain book was available. It wasn’t. But…there were two others that caught my attention with their pretty covers and I couldn’t just leave them sitting there on the shelf. So, they came home with me.

Last night, after finishing a whole list of things I needed to do, I let myself read. Almost from the start, I was a little disappointed. This really makes that saying true, “you can’t judge a book by its cover.” Of course, I almost always judge a book by its cover. If I like the way it looks, I get it! Haha. That’s only when I want mindless entertainment though. I save the heavier, more meaningful reading for Summer time, when I have less to think about. Anyway, right now calls for light reading of meaningless fiction. Okay, back to my disappointment.

First of all, I know it’s meaningless reading, but I’m still unimpressed with the writing. I know it shouldn’t matter, and I’m not a great writer, but some writing styles just bug me. So I’m a bit of a book snob, oh well…what can ya do? Anyway, not a big deal. The part I’m really bugged about is that all of these books are about 18-22 year olds. They are always about them getting married…or getting too old so they need to get married. I realize that the greater part of our population (it was an LDS book) gets married at that age. The thing I don’t like is when other characters in the book give the main character a hard time about not being married, or dating, etc. They make it sound like you have the plague if you aren’t married by like 24. Some of them keep saying things like, “you know what they say about people who reach a certain age and aren’t married….” Ugh!! That’s slightly offensive to those of us who reach that age. At least I think it is. I don’t think I have done anything to deserve such criticism. I’ve tried to be successful with my life and I think I’m a fairly normal person…it just hasn’t been my time yet! It’s okay that some of us have a different plan in life and God has other things in store for us.

So, on that note, I’m really thinking that I should write a book. I don’t know if I can though. I don’t feel like I am the best writer in town but seriously, one about this whole transition from young single adult to single adult might be good. I don’t know. Anyway, just thought I’d throw that out there…but then, who has time to write a book anyway? It would just be nice to have some reading material that involved normal, never-been-married, single people with successful lives.

Before I let you go read something more interesting, do you want to know what some of my favorite books are? My favorite, favorite is “Their Eyes Were Watching God.” Such a fantastic story with an amazing message! The writing style is beyond fabulous and mostly, I just love it!

I’m also a fan of, “The Book Thief.” I really like the way this was written as well. It is narrated by Death. What an interesting twist, right? I think authors that think outside the box a little and create something unique.

Last but not least, I love “The Giver.” It is a super easy read with a very interesting story line and a good message. Love it!

Of course there are many others, these are just a few of my top favs of what constitutes a good book. Love, The book snob.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Mr. Refreshing #12

It wasn’t the fact that the air was cold, crisp, and clean, or that his breath didn’t smell that made tonight’s date refreshing. No, it was the fact that it wasn’t the same date that I had the last two weeks, as well as almost every other date all year. Nope, it was a little different. More thought and less boring conversation really made the night a success.

So, here’s how it went down. As usual, toward the afternoon part of the day I started to feel that awful sense of dread. I began to wonder why my friend set me up with this guy. Why did I wonder? Well, she is my age and single too…so why doesn’t she date him? You always have to wonder that when a fellow single traveler on the ship of life sets you up right? I tried to force all negative thoughts out of my head and went for a quick run between work and the date…just to build up some happy endorphins and let out a little nerves/dread. Running always makes you feel better, right? Yet worse at the same time…it’s funny that way.

Well, Mr. Refreshing picked me up right on time and we headed downtown. It was really nice that he picked me up and wasn’t on a bike because it was snowing. It would have been a cold trip downtown. Anyway, on the way out we mostly talked about me and I felt bad because we were talking about me. At the same time, it was so nice that I didn’t feel like I had to carry the conversation…it just flowed easily, mostly thanks to him. We got out most of the usual things on the way there and then put it behind us to have a little more fun. Really, I want to know the guy but I just don’t want to have that conversation again, ya know??

So, we ended up at the church history museum. This is always a cool place, and while it was cool tonight…it was also warm which is a bonus on a snowy evening. I always enjoy seeing all the old stuff from way back in the day and learning a little more about church history. This guy seems well read on the subject and I learned a thing or two. When it comes to history, I’m a little bit of a slacker and I can never remember details so I had nothing interesting to contribute sadly. On the way there and in the museum, it became apparent that the man had a sense of humor…thank goodness! It was nice to laugh, I needed that.

So, after the museum, we grabbed some hot chocolate to go, and walked over to temple square. It started to snow on us just as we did. We stood under the tabernacle and watched the snow fall down over the temple…it was really pretty! As we did so, we played that game where you make up stories about the people walking by. I was a little shy at first and ummm, not very good at that game, but it was fun to try. For some reason, my stories all came out slightly disturbing and now he thinks I’m emo (even though I had to tell him what that was)and blind, due to my inability to tell male from female, but that’s okay. ? He suggested that in my future optometry appointments, I add the gender deciphering feature to my glass. Well, that and he gave me a lesson on how to tell the difference based mostly on their clothing, which isn’t always the best indicator!

So, either these tipped him off to my trench coat past, or the story about my near death experience at a buffet and my fear of dying at such a place…how embarrassing would that be?? Okay, didn’t really happen but it made a good story anyway, right?

So, it was fun to laugh and talk about other things and make up stupid things…like I used to do with someone else. But I didn’t think of him then (someone else) because it wasn’t worth it or necessary. Mr. Refreshing seems like a good guy; very nice, gentlemanly, funny, and easy to be around. Thanks friend for setting me up!

Ps…#10 called me while I was out. My phone was off so he left a voicemail. I guess I’ll just see if he calls back again because I don’t feel like putting out the effort to call him back. He was boring and didn’t make up funny stories or do something outside of my regular box….despite being a very nice, good guy.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Tuesday is a Special Day

This is going to be a quick post because I really need to go to bed. I just wanted to update all my fabulous readers. I have another date coming this Tuesday. Wow, can you believe that? That's 3 Tuesday's in a row...right after I quite this whole thing. I'm pretty excited for this one though. My friend set me up and he sounded on the phone like a nice normal guy and one with a plan. I like him already, just because he had our date all planned out and it's not dinner! Refreshing! So, we will see how it goes.

I also want to say that I feel so, so blessed today. I know that there is a God. I know that He is my Heavenly Father and is sooo mindful of who I am and EXACTLY what I need, whether it be something silly or not. He blesses me and I know that He blesses all of you, whether you take time to recognize it or not. His blessings are abundant and so much more perfect and thorough than I would ever have been able to imagine up in my mind. I love Him and am grateful for the knowledge of His presence in my life!!

ps...guess who I hung out with tonight? Lot's of guys...and girls...including, Mr. Hopeful. Remember him? He will never want to date me but I still had a lot of fun with him and his roommate. Fun and funny guys. Plus, as I mentioned before, he is really good looking! Well, until Tuesday then. Or maybe Wednesday.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Special #11

I promised a good story when it came to #11. The thing is, I was kind of being judgmental and rude. Let me tell you why though. There is a lady that I work with all day every day. She is pretty much the only adult that I see consistently every day. Lucky me. Okay, there I go again…sorry. Anyway, she is pretty nice and definitely has good intentions, even though they are not always apparent. So, there is this guy that she goes to church with. She secretly has a crush on him but is 35 years older than him. Since he is off the market for her, she felt that she should set him up. Her first choice was another girl who is much cooler than me but doesn’t work with us every day. We only have the privilege of her company about once a month. Since I was the next available single female within reach, she decided to do me the honors instead.

After committing me to go out with said co-worker’s eye candy, she proceeds to describe him to me in this fashion. She says, “He is a little bit socially awkward. I think he is just really shy. He rides his bike everywhere because he went to get his driver’s license once and the lady yelled at him so he has never tried again. He lives at home with his parents, didn’t go on a mission but he is a really good guy!” So, that was my first impression of him. Well, that and that fact that he shares his name with my grandma…a deal breaker in itself! Seriously though, what was I supposed to think of this guy? Immediately I began to regret committing to give just anyone a chance at least once.

Since the guy was supposedly socially awkward, I had high hopes that maybe he wouldn’t call. When asked if he had a few days later, I reported to my co-worker that he had not. She began to imitate a conversation between him and their bishop and herself. When she imitated him saying, “I’m gonna call…” in a very whiny sort of voice, sounding perfectly like someone who is a little bit slow, I began to be a bit suspicious. When he did call me and in the same voice really quickly, and without pause said, “Hi this is #11, co-workers friend, she said you would go out with me?!” I definitely knew that things were not altogether right. She may not know it but I think that he is a little more than just socially awkward.

Mentally handicap or not, he was very friendly on the phone but seemed like he wanted me to call the shots. I told him I would get back to him at the beginning of the next week when I was less busy. We set the date for Tuesday though. That’s when I asked him if I could ride on his handle bars and he said, “well, I don’t know how good I am but I have a rack on the back you can ride on.” Haha…sweet! What a gentleman!

Sunday rolled around and he called to confirm our date and this time he had a plan. He was told by his buddies that we should go to the Spaghetti Factory. Mmmm, I’m a fan so I agreed. Plus, it’s close enough to my house that I knew I wouldn’t have to go too out of my way. We planned to meet there at 6:30. Tuesday came along and by the time 6:30 finally arrived, I was starving!! On Sunday I told him that I would call him when I got there and he said, “or I will just call you when I get there.” So, I figured I would just let him call since he would be riding his bike and all.

I got there close to on time and waited until 6:35 before I finally called him out of sheer hunger and near starvation!! As it turned out, he had been sitting out front the whole time. He said he arrived quite early, having really over estimated the bike time. It only took him 40 minutes. At that point I felt pretty bad for not picking him up. I didn’t think about offering until after we hung up on Sunday. What a horrible person! He seemed completely okay with it though, as if it is the most normal thing in the world. It is good exercise I guess.

Okay, when I first saw him I must say I was pleasantly surprised. He really wasn’t bad looking. He was better looking than #10. He had cute dimples anyway. Still, when he spoke, it seemed overly loud and definitely somewhat abnormal. I decided to do my best to be a good date for him. Upon further communications previously with my co-worker, I found out that he doesn’t talk to girls or date much. After the date she said that it was probably his first date so she hoped that I showed him how it was done. Great. Anyway, we got a table in the back corner which was good for my prideful self.

Our conversation mostly centered around him. Good. I just tried to keep him talking which really wasn’t hard at all. He likes to talk. I think that the highlight of our conversation was really a toss-up between him converting fractions to decimals for me, and him telling me on and on about how his co-worker keeps trying to get him to go to the nudie bar across the street from where he works. He told me all about what such a place would be like. Awwwwkkkkwarrrrd! I tried not to notice however and to steer the convo elsewhere.

All in all, he really is a good guy, which is why in the end, I can’t really make fun of him or be demeaning in any way. He works 12 hours a day and then helps neighbors with things they need fixing. In the winter he shovels about 10 driveways and 25 sidewalks a day…before his 12 hour work shift. When his family is out of town he remodels one of their rooms for them. He is the elder’s quorum president in his ward and seems like he really takes that seriously. He was named after their neighbor who died while snow blowing his driveway. My date inherited his name and the snow blower. Now, every time he uses it he thinks of that man. It’s kind of a creepy story but I felt a little sad for him when he was telling it to me. He said the guy was like a grandpa to him. Anyway, it was at that point that I realized I really couldn’t say anything bad about him. He is a very nice, very good guy…I am not. First of all, I am a girl. Secondly, I just don’t think I am good enough to accept him in a relationship kind of way.

As we left the restaurant, we were getting ready to part ways; me to my car, he to his bike, when he pulled out his old school walkman/tape recorder and got all set to continue his book on tape for the long journey home. I like listening to books on CD as well…only in my car. He seemed happy to be biking back home in the dark but still, I felt bad once again. I hope he made it okay. I wish him the best…bicycle and all.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

They Loved Us!

Who is they? The men. What men? The men at the fireside I went to tonight. Who is we? My friend and I. So, there was a mid-single’s fireside in Layton featuring Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band. It seemed like it would be a well attended event and a good opportunity to see this popular LDS group for free, so I finally decided to make the drive and see what this group was all about. I recruited a friend of course because everyone needs a wing man at these types of gatherings right? Almost immediately upon entering the building…no wait, before we even entered the building, we could feel scoping eyes looking us up and down. It was awkward to say the least.

We went in, took our seats, and tried not to notice the noticeably different atmosphere from our little single’s ward where no one dates each other, to this not so subtle meat market with its over abundance of elevator eyes. Being a mid-single’s group, my friend and I were definitely the younger of the bunch. I’m not saying the bunch was bad, just that they were quite obviously appraising the meat for long term storing. But anyway, we will get back to that shortly.

The fireside itself was GREAT! These musicians are talented and had some insightful words of wisdom to impart to this attentive audience. Good times seemed to be had by all and if I’m being honest…their current drummer is HOT! He seems pretty young but hey, I like that. So yeah, I did a little scoping myself but tried not to exceed the limit to reach creepy. Because really…he wasn’t the one checkin me out. He was probably horrified to be at an older single’s event, being single himself. Seriously though, he was REALLY good looking and super talented...

At the conclusion of the fireside, refreshments and a mingle were announced to follow. Yay…another mingle! I was slightly curious so my friend and I stuck around for a bit. It wasn’t long before we were approached by what appeared to be our new best friend. This guy was very friendly and nice to chat with for like a minute. The minutes dragged on however and I finally found myself devising schemes in my head to get rid of him. When the subtle walking away from him didn’t work I had to resort to greater and more obvious tactics but let’s back up again for a minute and talk about why this was necessary.

Our conversation with our new best friend seemed to center around the fact that I am a very busy person. He told me that I’m not married so what could I possibly be so busy with! Are you serious? Only married people are busy? What do they do all day? Don’t answer that…I wish I were too but really, why can’t I be busy and single? Also, he asked me if I ever hang out with friends or date…since I am so busy. I told him that I do…on Tuesdays and Fridays. He obviously wanted my number, or my friend’s, but never asked. He just kept telling us that we need to come out to the institute class that he goes to. Nice. Is that all you have? I know I am sounding a bit petty now but he kept throwing his age at us like we cared. He kept letting us know basically (without ever really saying it) that he was 30. Like we care…we are the same age! It was just an interesting conversation that was essentially leading nowhere, hence the need to leave.

Leave we did. I said to my friend, “hey, did you want to go meet the band?” She agreed that she did and he finally let us be. As we were approaching the band, we were stopped by what appeared to be a relative of Kramer, with a moustache. Or maybe it was a goatee. I don’t really remember but the conversation was awkward and his oogle could not have been any more apparent. He was definitely somewhere in the 40’s yet still unpolished in his communication skills. This was apparent when he asked us if we had been married or had any children. Or maybe that's just the norm in this age group. Seems to be kind of. Anyway, he obviously wanted to talk to us but didn’t have much to say…other than that we should all hook up on facebook. Oh yeah!! This is the new way I guess. Only guys add you and then never talk to you. So, we are gonna hook up on facebook. Yay! (This is completely sarcastic of course…the guy was seriously a creeper!).

After this encounter, my friend and I decided to make a quick escape. We hurried out the door, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. I did however pass mr. hottie percussionist on the way to our car and told him that he had some sweet skills. And that was that. I’m glad we went. We laughed about it on the way home so all in all, I think it was a successful night. Moral of the story: Men need to be men and ask for girl’s numbers if they want ‘em and then they need to use those numbers and ask them out. Then there might not be any more mid-single events because there would be far less mid-singles to go to them. The end.

Ps...Happy 100th post!!!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Mr. Boring #10

Let’s start at the end. You know how I’m over 30 but my mom still tells me what to do sometimes? Today she said, “Make sure that no matter what, you try to go out with him again.” So, at the end of the date when Mr. Boring said, “Would you mind if I called you again sometime?” I replied, “yes, that would be great.” Everybody has rules and everyone knows how dating and marriage are done and apparently I don’t follow those rules because I am not married. I read the books, I tried on the advice, I met a lot of men, dated a few, and mostly...all I can say for it, is that I am sick of everyone’s rules! This is why I decided to go on a break from this project. Of course once I put that up, I had four people lining me up, two of which actually called me. Amazing I know.

So, today was the first set up of the four. Here’s how it went down. My mom has been training this lady at work. She is apparently a very nice lady and knows a single man in his 30’s. Well, he is single, my mom has a single daughter…why not?? So, I gave the okay to the mother and she passed my number along. Sunday night, just as I was about to go to bed early, the phone rang. Mr. not so interesting was on the line. Right away he gave me an out, as if I hadn’t given the okay to pass my number along in the first place. I professed to enjoy meeting new people and told him I would love to go out sometime. So, we set up a dinner appointment for Tuesday evening.

Today is Tuesday. Tuesday’s are the loooongest day in history at work! Even so, I finally made it through my work day and took a half an hour to get pretty and try to smell less like kid. I thought things turned out pretty well. I decided to sport the ever so popular skinny jeans and now firmly believe that despite what you or I may think of such apparel, they are magic. Men love skinny jeans…that’s all there is to it. So anyway, we met up in the parking lot, drove together in his truck (which wasn’t really all that impressive for a truck but hey…it was a truck!) for a whole block. I seriously thought we were going to walk and really would have preferred that method but I followed his lead and entered the truck.

We had some fine Italian food at the good old staple, Johnny Carino’s. I was really eyeing this chicken/shrimp pasta dish that looked so, so delightful. I thought it was quite expensive though. He ordered it however, so I went ahead and ordered myself up a plate as well. It was spicy and delish! Our conversation was somewhat broken and awkward at times. I was a little tired from a long day at work and honestly just not feeling it. Whoaaa…back up a second. Before I left, inside my head, I was screaming, “I don’t want to go…I don’t want to go. Don’t make me do it!” Yes I know, it strongly resembled something from the mouth of a two year old. It’s just that I am soooo tired of meeting guys. Seriously, I am bored of the same conversation, over and over and over and over again! This particular conversation (no thanks to me) did not prove any better. Oh well, what can you do.

I’m sure that I could have been a little more flirty. Okay, maybe I could have been somewhat flirty. I looked hot, I was totally polite and friendly, thanking him for his gentlemanly ways, etc. At the same time, I also felt like I had a little bit of a negative vibe going on. A vibe like, “hmmm, I’m not really interested but I’ll be polite because we are here.” So then, why….does he want to hang out with me again?? Sure I call him Mr. Boring but honestly, he could have said the same about me. I was not in any way my usually jolly and delightful self. Nope…I was miss boring pants! Oh well, I told him (because it’s apparently the right and acceptable thing to do) that I would love for him to call me again sometime. So, maybe next time we will both be less boring and I will by some miracle, suddenly become attracted to him! Yay, we are so getting married!! Well, that is if next Tuesday’s date doesn’t trump this one. He doesn’t drive…he rides his bike everywhere. So, I asked him if I could have a ride on his handle bars. But…I am getting ahead of myself and will save all of those details for next week. Can you believe it…I’ve just about made it to eleven?! October shmoctober!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The More You Dance...

The dizzier you become. Boys like to make you spin. And spin, and spin, and spin. After awhile, you get so dizzy that even when you are standing still, the world continues to move around you in circles, and all over the place. Last time I went dancing, a couple of weeks ago, I felt this. I couldn’t dance after a certain period of time because I was just tripping all over the dance floor. Life itself has seemed much like this lately as well. I’m a little sad that I haven’t had time for my blog but I’m happy to be here now. Things are settling down a little and slowly starting to turn at a normal pace again!

So, I have been working a lot lately, but I have also played hard enough as well. One of the last times I went Country dancing was a packed full day. I had a short day at work so I went hiking with #7. We went up to Dog Lake and it was gorgeous!!! Have you seen the leaves lately? I love the feeling in the air during Fall, and I love, love, love the leaves!! They reflected beautifully in the lonely lake while we sat quietly by watching the blue jays and enjoying the peaceful stillness. It was wonderful!

After the hike, I went straight to teach a music lesson, then straight to dinner with some great friends that used to be my roommates back in the day. Good times! Then I went home and quickly got ready for a fun filled night of dancing! Lots of guys asked me to dance because…I was wearing my skinny jeans!! Yes, that is the secret I decided. Ah men, you are so predictable! Oh well, I received a fair share of practice and had a ton of fun with my young friend who just left me for a life in New Jersey. Well, currently she is enjoying new friendship and a whole lot less dancing down in Provo where she learns Spanish and wears dresses and nylons all day every day. Poor girl! Love her though…and totally miss her! She was so good for my social life. She will make a great missionary though, because she has a fun personality and a great testimony!

Okay, so other than hanging out with that friend and working, I’ve been playing in a local symphony (not the one I want to play in but another), walking at 5am, trying to put together an entire relief society from scratch, forgetting about boys, and reading a few books (where in my schedule I don’t know…but had to squeeze in the Mocking Jay). Life is good! I feel a lot less stressed not worrying about boys, although a little bit guilty. At the same time, I currently have four men out there with my number. These are all set ups so I really can’t do anything about whether or not they call. If they do, they do. And I will let you know all about it. One has a lot of potential for a very “interesting” date story so seriously, read up friends! He doesn’t drive, he bikes all over the place, so I’m going to see if maybe I can ride on his handle bars…oh yeah!!! Do you think that would be too forward of me? Haha…it’s gonna happen anyway. More soon!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Let it Be

I know it's been a little while so I'm not sure if you are even still with me. Even now I should be in bed but I can't sleep so I finally decided to update! I need to share my recent thoughts. First of all, starting work again has been tough, on top of being called as Relief Society president in a new ward and keeping up with everything else I need to do. Basically, I am TIRED! I'm exhausted! I can't keep up with anything and it's getting me super down. I'm trying to stay up though. So, in an effort to stay on the up side....I really can't do this anymore. Well, I do mean to continue my blog, but I cannot worry about dating 40 guys right now. I stress about it way too much. I obsess over every little thing that might be wrong with me and frankly, I just want a man...a decent man that I could be interested like me for who I am! I want a man to feel like I am worthy of chasing...that I am worth a little work. I am so, so tired of doing all the work! I have backed off a lot. Don't think I am giving up altogether though. If someone wants to ask me out (which would seriously be a miracle because I haven't really seen that happen in my entire 31 years) then I will not turn them away. If people want to set me up, then I will go. But I CANNOT seek them out and initiate anything in any way right now. I do not have the energy or time. I'm sorry if I am a disappointment to you because I really don't want to be, but I want to focus on my other goals off to the left there, and hopefully as I do, I will still become more datable and mostly just a better person. I want to focus on improving me for me. I do hope to get married and I will eventually date 40 men...probably just not this year. I can't anymore.

On that note, I will tell you a funny story and tell you that I do still have a couple of guys on the supposed "hook up" list so I will be updating about them. I will also try harder to post more often but you are gonna have to just hear about my life's adventure's minus dates for awhile cause I am not doing the asking! Okay, funny story. Today I went to church. Church was great! I enjoyed the lessons and talking with my friends. I wore a cute skirt that I recently picked up at Shade of my favs! Anyway, it's kinda short and full. When I went to church, the air was still. When I came out of church, it was so windy! I walked by three of my guy friends on the way to my car. One asked me where I was going and I asked him where I should go. That started a whole fun conversation with those boys. I enjoyed talking to them but really, I was fighting my skirt against the wind and it was a little awkward. As I was leaning over to keep the skirt down, I was also trying to keep my shirt up. Wow, I was really trying to avoid the peep show that I'm sure the boys got anyway. At one point, I may have been a little late in catching my skirt and I'm not sure if they saw anything, but judging from the huge smiles on their faces, it couldn't have been good! So I said, "ummm, I think I better leave now." They laughed and agreed and off I went. Darn that wind!! It was prob funny to watch me fighting with the clothes though...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


So, I've once again been assessing things and all I can think lately is that I have failed. Failed at EVERYTHING! I have all these goals and I feel like I am not meeting any of them right now! So, I had to decide what the problem was and what I was going to do about it. Not achieving my main goal has really gotten me down lately. I've been super down on myself for quite some time as you know and I decided this is the root of all my problems! Seriously, I have got to rid my life of all of the negativity! So, instead of looking at all the ways I have failed, I started thinking of all of my successes. For one, I have lost at least 20 pounds since beginning this journey. I've also almost made it through Genesis (okay, I am totally gonna have a New Testament read-a-thon one of these days...are ya with me??). I currently am so much more "in the know" about sports than I ever have been, and participating in them whenever I get the chance. Last week I played softball. A couple of weeks before, it was volleyball and I've added in Ultimate Frisbee a couple of times as well. Tonight I even watched part of a Red Sox game while working out...they were totally kickin trash! Finally, I have been on 9 more dates than last year, and have met tons more guys and been out in the world living life for all it's worth!

The dreaded day has come and gone. Last Friday was my birthday. It was hard. But in lite of my new outlook on life, I decided not to be so depressed about getting older, but to be grateful for the full life I've had so far. I wouldn't trade my experiences and knowledge for anything. It's been a good 31 years and I plan to add several more very fulfilled years to that!

Since starting work again a few weeks ago, I have been nothing but tired and stressed! This is also not helping things! I've had zero time for working out or having fun, or keeping up with anything that needs done. Yesterday, my dog died. We have had him for over 13 years and honestly, I was pretty sad about it. I still am. So, through all of this, I am still just trying to take deep breaths, slow down, and squeeze in the super important stuff, along with a little bit of recreation when possible. I've started getting up earlier in the morning so I can exercises, and I read on my small breaks from work, or try to accomplish a thing or two. Somehow amidst all of this, I am going to start meeting men again and getting some more dates to write about, but that's where I am at for now.

As an update however, guess who I got an email from the other day?? Remember the guy I met in my hiking group? I totally haven't heard from him since and he just decided to drop me a little message the other day. Nice! I also received a birthday wish from the guy I met a few weeks ago from my hometown. Happy day! Now, if they would just ask me out!! Still haven't heard from the 42 year old set up either....not keeping my fingers crossed....okay, maybe just a little! Oh, and one more thing, I totally saw this hot guy at work today and I'm pretty sure he was single...but it just didn't happen. Let's hope I run into him again soon!! Thanks for stickin with me...let's make this happen!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Better Days

Sorry about Friday. We all go through those moments though, right? I know I frequently do, but things are weird right now. There has been so much transition in my life lately and so much anticipation of transition, that it becomes overwhelming and I get discouraged. Let’s talk about that later though. For now, let’s focus on better days, like yesterday! What a fabulously fun day it was! So, I got up bright and early because I had plans to go shoot the tube! I met a couple of my guy friends and went off to meet the one I planned it with. He had texted me early in the morning to see if it was still a go and of course I responded with an enthusiastic, “yes!” He never responded however. My three other friends and I waited for him for quite some time. By this time I had texted my missing friend (who was actually experienced at shooting the tube) several times with no response. Finally, we decided to take matters into our own hands and go without him….and his raft.

(On the left is the tunnel wher eyou come out)

We eventually found our way to Tanner Park, near the mouth of Parley’s Canyon. From there, we followed a trail that eventually led us to the end of the aqua duct from which we would soon be spewing forth. There were about three or four fellow tube shooters already there. As it turns out, we had to walk through the tunnel/aqua duct, to the other end to begin. I let the boys go ahead while I finished putting on my swimming gear. By the time I was ready, they had already made it to the other end, leaving me to find my way through the dark tunnel on my own. I was scared! I wished I had a nice brave man to lead the way for me. I didn’t however, so I finally took a deep breath and began my journey up the tunnel. I could see the other end but it is pretty long and I was walking through about a foot of water in flip flops. I was scared I was going to fall and be swept back down the tube before reaching the other end. Thankfully I did not, but instead safely made it to my friends who were hard at work making a dam to slow the flow of water into the tube.

Before leaving the house, my dad made me take my life jacket. I decided to take it with me because I figured if I didn’t, something stupid would happen and my dad would be mad and I would regret it, etc. So, despite being the only one, I took it with me. While waiting for the dam to fill up and break, I was grateful for the life jacket. Since our other friend with the raft didn’t come, we were left with nothing to go down on, which is fin,e but I sat on my life jacket which was much better than nothing! As I stood there in anticipation I was about to pee my pants with nervous excitement!

The dam became so full that eventually someone had to break it. There were several of us lined up in the tunnel, just waiting to be swept down with the force of the water when it hit us. They broke the dam and the water hit us with such a powerful force and swept us down the tube (which is about the length of a football field I hear). It was sooo fun!! We laughed and screamed and at the end, I saw a huge white wall of water just as it swept over me, forcing me to swallow my daily allotment and take quite a bit up the nose as well! The tunnel was like a huge creature, just spewing us out into this little pond where people were letting their dogs play. For a second I thought I was going to drown, but no worries, it wasn’t that deep and I was out of the water in no time, gasping for air. I’m not sure if it was the water intake or the fact that it was like ice that left me breathless but it took me some time to recover my normal breathing!
(Imagine this full of rushing water throwing humans out of it!)

After having made it down, we were all elated! We laughed with excitement, shared our tales of adventure and decided to give it one more shot. The second time was even better. There were more people then and we all somehow connected as the water forced us together in a huge train. It was delightful though, and this time, I was prepared for the white wall of water and plugged my nose just before it hit! We survived again and headed home! That was the best free fun around for sure!!!
(The pond at the bottom...when it's calm cause no one is flying into it.)

As for the rest of the day, I had a great time helping my friend shop for missionary clothes, swimming with my family, working out at the gym, and then going to a party at my other friend’s house. Of course, he is really young and again, I sometimes feel really out of place at these events. Seriously, I looked around awhile and realized that since I used to teach high school, all of these people could have been my students because they really didn’t graduate all that long ago. Yikes! Anyway, it turned out to be really fun and I got to know a girl in my new ward a lot better so it worked out. But sadly, no dating prospects….I’m not weird like that. I do like younger guys but I draw a limit on when I started teaching. If they did not graduate before that, they are out!!

On that note however, I realized yesterday that I haven’t been putting as much into this project as I used to and that is probably the reason for my lack of success. I know what I need to do….I’m grateful for the slight focus change for awhile because I needed it and have honestly become quite a different person the last few months…but I’m ready to move on again, I think! More fun date stories soon!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Caught in the Middle

Where is all the time going, seriously? Can we just slow this down a little more? More importantly, how about I just make it a goal to date ten guys this year! It’s still way better than last year!! Why did I think 40 was achievable again?? Or why did I think that guys would want to date me? Okay, I know…this is not okay! But sometimes when you are sitting at home on a Friday night, you wonder these things. Yes, you are right; I shouldn’t be sitting at home! Well, I went out last night and I’m going out in the morning so it’s not a complete waste, right? Besides, you’ve been dying for a blog update, haven’t you? I feel like a slacker in every way right now!! It’s time to repent…I’m on that. Maybe in awhile I will go up to Ogden to see my new friend perform in an improve competition. He has invited me the last 3 weeks and I haven’t gone. Everyone else I know is busy or doesn’t care to hang out with me so, I guess I will maybe…attempt this one on my own. Who knows what may happen!

While we are on the subject of self pity, let’s talk a little more about this whole age thing. So, I went to play Frisbee last night and then went country dancing. The friend that I hang out with to do these activities is almost ten years younger than I am. It’s totally fine, she is super fun and keeps me young and energetic, and most importantly, out there. Still, I can’t help but feel a little out of place at times around her other friends and boyfriend, when to them, I am super old. I try not to bring up my age but at times it comes up and this awkward silence immediately follows. Geez, I don’t have a plague or anything and you were totally cool with me like 5 seconds ago!

Okay, she is so not like that but I just feel out of place a lot of times with the younger crowd now. I feel this more and more lately. I don’t want to be old but there is just something about the experiences you have in life over just a few years that change you! I’m grateful for those changes! I don’t want to give them up! I feel like I know who I am because of my experiences. The problem is relating to people who have not yet had such opportunities. They are not any less of a person, and neither am I…we are just different. Sometimes, more often than not though, I DO feel like less of a person, just because of my age! Shouldn’t that make me more of a person though? Hmmmm. Maybe the fact that my birthday still looms over me on a daily basis is the contributing factor to these long, self-absorbed paragraphs of self-pity, I don’t know. One more week though. One more week and we can just move on from it and try to forget it ever happened I guess.

While we are on the subject of self pity, let’s just get everything out and then we can move on again. Sometimes, when you are hanging out on a Friday night with nothing to do, you have these little sessions, even though it’s nice to hang out by yourself sometimes. It’s definitely been one of those weeks though, ya know? I really hate to admit it because I’m sure there are people who will take joy in my self pity, but oh well. I love the good times and have plenty of them…it’s just been a long week. So…what else? Besides the younger crowd, I also feel out of place in the older crowd as I have mentioned. I am not divorced, am too young, and don’t have any children!

Ah, that brings me to another point. This man, a police officer in Kanab area was killed yesterday. That’s my old place of residence so I have heard a lot about it. Everyone has been talking about how it is so sad and that he left behind a wife and two kids. It is so sad!! I am sad for my friend that this happened to a few years ago! I am sad for anyone that has to go through this. It has made me consider though, what if I died? Would it be less sad because I don’t leave anyone behind?? It sort of makes you feel a little worthless sometimes…like I am not contributing properly to the world so what am I good for? Okay, I know…stupid comment! I just wanted to throw it out there though.

So, this post is sooo not okay. I know that and you know that. Now I HAVE to go out to my friend’s show tonight! I am tired though. I stayed out way too late last night country dancing. It was okay. I danced with all the strange guys and did not meet my goal to give out my number. Eh, I didn’t want to give them my number anyway! I better get myself ready to go. More on tonight’s FUN adventures (promise) later!!