People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Planner

For quite some time I have taken up the role of, “the planner.” Reasons for this may vary but I attribute it mainly to the fact that I am of the philosophy that you can’t sit around and wait for life to happen to you…you have to create the life you desire. I also know that generally the life most people desire does not involve sitting at home in a friendless existence night after night. Don’t get me wrong, there are not many things I love more than my alone time, but that is because I have variety in my life to compare it to. If I had no company at all, my alone time would seem very lonely.

Back to the story though. In every group of friends or acquaintances, someone has to be the planner of all things fun, right? I know that if I do not plan these exciting activities, no one else will…or else they won’t invite me to them. Honestly, I’m pretty sure that they do and that is exactly the case but no need to worry over that. The point is, over the last year especially, I have planned many fun and exciting field trips, inviting all sorts, and having fantastic times. I generally invite many different people and try to keep it somewhat random. At the same time, I have had several different groups of friends as constants on the list as well.

After some time, people stopped coming to my exhilarating outings. It was difficult to plan around everyone’s schedules and at times painful on the ego when not many came. Such was the case a few months ago at the last event I planned in my honor. Not many came and I thought, “So that’s what you think of me huh World?” As a result, I have not planned anything since. I have obviously been on a few outings but nothing too involved. Until now that is.

It’s not a big deal or anything. It’s just a few friends hanging out. Who, is the question however. Let me explain first. I am trying to help raise some money for a family in need. The father is dying, leaving behind two small children and a wife. One good friend who already had a charity event scheduled for this weekend kindly offered to donate some of their proceeds to this family. Now this isn’t just another lame sauce event. It is going to be ridiculously fun! So, being the friend I am, I decided to go and support him, as well as the family in need, by donating my own entrance fee. I invited everyone in town who is anyone (or who is on my facebook anyway) and personally invited a few to go with me. I began with one of my newest friends and together we decided to ask some of our guy friends as well.

Here is where the story gets interesting and I get to my point. I invited two guys that I knew would not come. For whatever reason they are not big on hanging out, dating, or going to social events. This was not a date situation however! Just so we are clear on that. I don’t think that I will EVER ask a guy out again. All of the advice on that situation seems to be quite sound from what I can tell of my own experimentation. Anyway, I knew these guys wouldn’t want to come but I gave them the option anyway. I was very casual about it, specifying that they did not HAVE to come but that it would be “good times.” The excuses that I received from them were more than ridiculous but at least worth a good laugh right?

The first man to reply was very sneaky. It’s hard to tell right off that he is a finalist for the “lame sauce excuses award” but read on. It took him a little bit of time to reply but when he did, he said he has a “family deal” that night so, since it is the busy month of December, he will be unable to attend. Sounds legit right? He was quite friendly, texted me back and forth a few times and we wished each other a fantastic week. Not long after, I reported my results to the other girl going with me. She informed me that it is on the night that they take his grandpa to dinner every week. Are you kidding me? I’m pretty sure the rest of his family would be okay without him, just this once! Haha so, strike for you Mr. Friend! Next.

Next we have the man who has to be THE hardest man to read on the planet. I have never been interested in dating him and never will be. We are however friends, somehow. Sometimes he seems to get my jokes, and sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes we are like BFF and sometimes we are hardly acquaintances. Sometimes he opens up, and other times he freaks out when I do, and suddenly has “to go.” Well, I guess Sunday I reached the friendly quota but I still thought I’d try my luck last night to see if he was still in super friendly mode. Mmmm, not so, so much. He was actually slightly neutral. I texted him about the event and he promised to call me as soon as he had a chance, to talk about the details.

When he did call, and I informed him that it would be held in Provo, the reply was more than a little entertaining. First, as he stumbled for words, he confessed that he doesn’t usually go to Provo. Weird since he graduated from school there and all. Anyway, he went on about how the traffic is always bad, etc. He said because of the time, he would have to drive alone and just wasn’t sure that he could commit to that…being in Provo and all. Ding, ding, ding, another candidate!! Wow, that one was pretty bad.

So, knowing that both of these fine young men my age and single were out of the question, I pressed on. I found two more who are checking their schedules, aka looking for something better to do or trying to think of the lamest excuse they can come up with. I think that in the future I will stick to girls. It’s less complicated, they know that I obviously don’t want to date them so there is no confusion there, and if they don’t want to go, they usually just say so…instead of coming up with something really ridiculous to say. Another lesson learned in the hazy world of men: just be honest, we can take it!

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