People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

An Experiment in a Refresher Course

Some of you have only joined me recently. Others who began with me have taken their journey elsewhere. Still others have stayed through good and bad, the ups and the downs of this crazy year. I began eagerly with hope and anticipation for what the year would bring. Now as I reflect, I believe it is time for a little refresher in the do’s of the dating and social world.

Everybody likes to be touched sometimes. It’s true. Touching a person, even in the smallest, and seemingly most insignificant way can say so many things, whether good or bad. It can also be one of the greatest affirmations of caring and interest in another human being. That is why it is one of the most significant love languages.

Having this knowledge, and having been made more aware of what the experts have to say on the matter, leads me to two conclusions.

Conclusion Number One: No one in the bible or any other scripture has experienced a famine to the magnitude that I have. My famine just happens to be lack of lovin! Okay, not just that…lack of personal contact in any way…including a simple and slight touch in passing. I am THIRSTY!!

Conclusion Number Two: Much of this famine is my own fault. As much as I know how important this is to many people, I still have yet to practice it in my daily interactions. And you know what they say, practice makes perfect. Yet, for some reason, I seem to be scared…too separated by our individual bubbles which, for some deeply rooted inner belief that I don’t fully understand, I believe cannot be penetrated. I know they can, but I feel stiff and awkward when it comes to things regarding touch. When I experience brief interludes of mass dating, I feel myself relaxing and opening up to the possibilities, but then the drought continues and my shell dries up and hardens into an impenetrable bubble once again.

So, on to the experiment. I still interact with men. I have friends of all genders, ages, and backgrounds. As a result, it’s time to crack the shell and reach out a little to mankind. It’s time to shake hands, touch arms, and embrace the world. Bring on the rain!


Shanny said...

I've got to say, I used to be pretty anti-touch as well. I never hugged people, and PDA was not for me. Or so I thought. After I started dating a little more (well into my college years, mind you), I realized that I was all about physical contact! And not just with a boy. I just became a person who needs physical contact. Hugs and touches on the arm and holding hands and kisses, the whole shebang.

I don't know exactly why I'm telling you this, other than maybe once you get in a groove, you'll swap from an impenetrable bubble to a "touchy feely" girl. :)

Livin it up said...

I'm glad you told me Shannon...cause that is the person I want to be! And that is exactly the point I'm trying to make...don't you just feel so much more of a connection with people when they are not afraid to touch you in some way? I think it's great! And I had a revelation of sorts when I was writing this...what if this is a huge factor in the reason guys are never interested in me?? I am good at being friends with them but they don't want to date me. It could be my bubble!! But there is hope for me!! Thank you! :)

Growing Up Skye said...

I've always been a touch-oriented person. In junior high and high school my friends (both girls and boys) and I always gave hugs and had our arms slung around each other and it really does mean a lot! I know it's hard, though, because it seems like we live in a world that preaches nothing but self independence. Lance and I talk about it a lot and how lame it is! We all need each other! Life is more meaningful that way! So I know it's hard, but I also know you can do it! And I know you really want a guy to be the one to ask you on a second date, but that stereotype of confident, cocky guys isn't always the truth. Lance told me that guys are often just as insecure about asking girls out so if you go the extra mile and see if one of them might want to go out with you ago, it would go a long way! I don't know if there's anyone you feel like you could do that with, but if so, maybe give it a try sometime!

Livin it up said...

Thank you Tacy, that's great advice! And wow, I never thought about that as an independence issue but I can so see that now. I think that that might be part of my problem too. I don't want to come across as needy or anything. As a result, I think I come across as super hard core and icy sometimes,ya know??

As for the boys and that dates, I feel like I have kind of used up all possible resources but I will certainly keep that in mind for the future. There is nobody that I went out with that I care to really even talk to right now. Well, except for one that I do talk to...who has a brother that is fun to flirt with, haha! Even still, I do not want to date either of them. Lame, I know! Just waiting for someone new and awesome to come along! :)