Welcome to my Cyber World

Remember when I first reluctantly decided to try out the online dating scene? I was skeptical to say the least, it’s true. And well, I had good reason to be. That site was free and everyone on it thought that lovin was free too. That or they were seriously weird. I didn’t stay long. After trying so hard the last couple of years and searching high and low not only in the Salt Lake Valley where I live, but across the entire country, I have still come up dry on the husband search. So, last year of course I decided to try once again the only other thing I could think of….the internet. This time around I knew that payment was necessary in order to find the men that were serious. 

I plunged into the most expensive site I could find last fall. I did it on a whim. I answered a million questions about myself and my interests so that they could properly match me up with my Mr. Right. It wasn’t long before I realized that I could answer all the questions in the world and they still wouldn’t know me well enough to find me the right guy. A few months down the road however, I found Mr. Manly and I was pretty excited. He seemed like a good match to me so it restored my faith in the system. Obviously however, it didn’t last. I talked to him last night for about an hour and it just wasn’t there. I could tell that he is so done. You and I both already knew that though right? But, I learned lessons from my experiences with him and I know that for that short time, I was supposed to be with him and have the experiences we had. Now however, it is time to move on.

So, the other site just hasn’t been cutting it for me anymore. I have to wait for them to match me up and I honestly haven’t been all that thrilled with my matches. My friends have had better luck on another site which I again decided to join on a whim. Ever since I joined a couple of weeks ago, I feel like my life has been consumed with men! They are coming out of the wood work left and right. The nice part: they are for the most part actually contacting me. I like that. I also like that several times a day I am told that I am beautiful, cute, attractive, pretty, etc. I know they can’t see me in person but their flattery works wonders for the ego that was recently crushed to pieces by a manly man who didn’t want any part of this anymore. 

Well, despite the good comments and the fact that I am talking to and meeting several men, there are still some real interesting men out there in the cyber world. These are men that should never be allowed near women and have obviously been living in social Siberia their entire lives. Despite their lack of common sense when it comes to communication, they keep things interesting and well…entertaining, so long as they are not the ONLY guys trying to make a move. I’ve received some real treasures from these such men and I thought you might once again like to share in my humor and confusion at receiving such messages. 

First let’s look at the guy who has a handle bar mustache with a scarf on his head. He stalks me frequently. His best message to me so far went like this:

“Hi there!

I am: Ivan (name changed)

I am: Sovereign, LDS!

I like your profile, and you are VERY pretty! Your eyes totally own me! :-)

I would love to get to know you.

I was wondering,

What gives you the most fulfillment in life?

Do you work out?

What are You looking for in a man?

What are your Hopes and Dreams?

Please feel free to ask me anything!

I hope to hear from You soon!

Love, Ivan :-)

:-)”

Wow…so there’s that. I didn’t respond. He later sent me a poem called, “Friendship.” It was fantastic. Ahh…good times. Well, then there was this older gentleman from Mexico, which is kind of far away. I won’t share the whole message because he honestly wrote me a book but maybe just a little? Here’s what he had to say:

“Hi, my name is Jorge and let me tell you more about me! Well what I can said, Im a dreamer and I still believe in real love, love like the one we see all the time in movies!! One of my favorite movies is the notebook, Im looking for love that kind!! And I know that kind of love exist! I have that example with my parents, they still love each other even after more than 45 years of marriage!! And because of them I learned marriage is not easy, but is a combination of so many things, of course Love is one of the most important parts of the puzzle, but there are so many other things like, trust, honesty, loyalty, patience, good coummunication and something really important, daily work!

…. I am really interested in you and I want to know more about you and get to know you better, so if you are interested in get to know me more, please, write me a line and we can move it from there!”

Yep, another winner. How about just one more? This guy was kind of a piece of work. I’m not sure how to describe him but he looks a little redneck to be honest. He’s from Michigan….this is important to know. He first sent me a “flirt” that said, “I like your profile. Feel free to send me a message.” Right after, he sent a real email, the subject of which was Gang Member #2 and in it he said:

“I know there is a lot of gangs in Salt Lake so I’m sorry if I offended you in any way by sending the flirt. I am very sorry. LOL Country line dance. WHAT? I wouldn’t brag about that. Just a joke homegirl. No need to call your peeps out to bust my legs. I think you are very beautiful and I would like to get to know you better. Take care. Your homeboy Sam.”

Wow!!! Really? Insult me and then tell me I’m beautiful? I’m flattered! Well, good times on the old internet. My friend and I have a new line for guys. We just tell them, “I like you better cyber.” Just kidding, not really but most guys are better before they open their mouths the first time. Still…I’m putting one foot in front of the other and dating to forget, and dating until I feel like dating. Meanwhile, I get to keep sorting through these winners! Wish me luck! I have another date tonight and one on Saturday…so far. ;)