People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Monday, March 29, 2010

A-A-Amazing Advice!

While things have been a little slow in the finding pool the last couple of weeks, I have still kept up my research. In fact, last night was one of the best research experiences I’ve had yet…with a bonus finding opportunity as well. What was it you ask? Well, my friend informed me of a fireside that was to take place last evening (for those who don’t know, a fireside is an evening church meeting…no fire’s involved). At this particular meeting for young single adults, the invited guest speaker was to be Utah’s dating coach. Her name is Alisa Goodwin Snell. Before attending the event, I looked at her website. She seemed legit so I was excited to go and see what she had to offer my growing array of knowledge on the subject.

I went to this meeting with two of my good friends who shall remain nameless, until they comment and identify themselves. Upon our arrival, we did not know what to expect. We were among the first there, so we obtained seats near the front of the room, which in my opinion, turned out to be a great choice. Soon two young gentlemen joined us on the remaining seats in our row. One of them immediately introduced himself to us, calling himself ‘Shoop.’ His real name is yet to be revealed but he was still a nice kid with a pretty awesome Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles notepad for writing down all of his inspirational thoughts. Together we speculated on what we were about to experience and then sat back to find out for ourselves what was in store.

Expert Snell did not disappoint! She was fabulous!! In fact, I’m considering hiring her on. She was a dynamic speaker which certainly made it easier to keep our attention as she spewed forth knowledge and secrets that would certainly change our lives and make us better daters. As I listened to her speak, I was excited at my own knowledge as a result of the studying I have been doing. She quizzed us on the needs of both men and women, and as she did so the words of all of my mentors came back to me: Dr. Phil, Dr. Gray, Mr. Tough Love, etc. They continue to say the same things, in different ways. I feel like I should get some sort of degree for this when I am through. What do you think?!

Anyway, back to Ms. Snell…she gave us a flyer which contained the 17 secrets to the male psychology as well as those of the female psychology. Because I assume that most of my readers are female (except my faithfully reading brothers) I will mostly just address some of the advice she gives to us females. First of all, she totally quoted Dr. Gray so I was pretty excited. They both agree that the number one need of a man is to feel trusted. Later, as I was pondering life and praying and stuff, I thought of an interesting parallel. God asks us to trust Him. He has a plan for us and knows what is best for each of us. This is something that I have been considering a lot lately. If I can learn how to trust God, then I will probably be more likely to learn how to show trust in my man as well….whenever he decides to reveal himself that is. Anyway, it’s important for us to constantly show that we trust men to be men, and as women, not to tell them how to be a man. Good advice.

Next, let’s talk about a few strategies that she shared which were rather enlightening as well as entertaining. First of all, she gave us a marvelous rejection script. Seriously…where was this woman a couple of months ago when I was freaking out about dumping Mr. Nice Guy? Anyway, here’s what we are supposed to say. “I am totally flattered but I just don’t feel that kind of connection with you…but thank you.” Nice, simple, easy. Also, we are supposed to take rejection confidently. We just have to consider each guy as practice. Speaking of confidence, guys love a confident girl so she advises us to act like it. It is a behavior…a behavior that can be learned she says. No one knows what we are feeling underneath so if we wait until we feel confident to act like it, we never will. Therefore…stand up, square your shoulders and get a little hip action to look confident while feminine at the same time. The men will love it!

A few other things the men love…they love it when we touch them. It might be extremely out of our comfort zone but a little touch on the arm can go a long way. She advises that we leave him wanting more when we are with him. So, don’t ‘linger longer.’ Talk for a few minutes, touch him on the arm, and then let him know that you enjoyed talking to him and you would love for him to call sometime…then walk away, confidently. Apparently, if he wants it, he will come after us for our number. As we walk away though, giving him one more glance over our shoulder can go a long way, or can tell us if he is interested or not by what he is doing at that point. Hmmm…I think these are the main points…be confident and feminine. I feel like I should practice my stance and my phrases in front of a mirror. Seriously, just as with all things, you have to practice to become good.

After she concluded her talk, there was a mingle. A lot of practicing was happening at that point. My problem was that in theory, this all sounds great! In practice...I looked around and all the guys were with girls already. I witnessed a lot of phone numbers being given out. Mine was unfortunately not among them. My friends was though! Shoop was in love at first sight with her. Just kidding...he did write her a sweet note from his Ninja Turtle notepad though. Good times. I will definitely be purchasing Ms. Snell's book in the near future and maybe sharing a few other fab tips. Here's what it looks like:


Jill said...

Love it!
I might start trying some of this stuff out on Chuck and see what it gets me ;)

Livin it up said...'s great advice no matter what the status of your relationship or non-relationship! I love Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus but it is definitely geared more toward well established relationships. I seriously think everyone should read it though! Good stuff :)

Mariel said...

Sounds like a great fireside! I agree, confidence is seriously SO attractive! And, if you don't have it..."fake it 'till you make it".