People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

They Say...

In my studies about relationships and dating, a common thread I’ve found amongst the bounds of knowledge the experts have to offer is that communication is different for men and women, and is therefore among the greatest initiators of argument and frustration in relationships. For me, this information is so helpful in interpreting a man’s intentions in general. I feel like I understand my guy friends a little better and that I take time to stop and think more carefully before jumping to conclusions about what they are thinking or what they mean by their actions (or sometimes, lack thereof).

I’m still working on Dr. Gray’s book “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus.” The entire book thus far has focused solely on how we communicate with each other…and mostly, how we misinterpret each other. I am absolutely loving it because it makes so much sense. While the book in general is geared more toward already existing relationships, I find it useful in my general every day interactions with the opposite sex so it’s a book I would recommend to all. I also find it interesting that the more books I read on this subject, the more I find similar conclusions by these experts. The things they are saying make sense and seem to be true, individual circumstance withholding. I still believe that there is no set in stone relationship guide that works for all…otherwise there might be a lot less divorce in the world and a lot more people getting married. Nonetheless, this information is useful and fun to learn about as well.

Speaking of fun, we are still not done with our man Mr. Ward, the tough love guy. He and his mother also have a lot to contribute to the subject of communication. Here’s what they say:

“Never underestimate the power of a woman’s intuition, and never overestimate the power of a man’s. Don’t expect him to be as intuitive as you are. In fact, don’t expect him to be intuitive at all. If you want to know something about him, ask.” Seriously, I like this one. As my friend Gentleman #1 always tells me, “you think too much.” I should say, “You think too little.” Just kidding, not really. I do like to over analyze things though when men really aren’t thinking anything about whatever little thing it is that I am worrying so much about. Okay, next.

“As a woman, you should follow his lead in communicating, just as you would when dancing. If he is a little shy and reserved at first, don’t feel like you have to fill the lulls in the conversation by going on about yourself.” Well, that’s a relief huh. I always kinda freak out when conversations die out for a few minutes. I hate awkward silences. I guess they don’t have to be though…if I just learn to stress a little less!

This next quote just makes sense. He says, “The responsibilities of men and women when they are first dating are very different. Men should do everything they can to make the experience as fun, easy, and entertaining as possible. Women should do everything they can to be flexible, accommodating, and positive at all costs.” I mean really, the point is to get to know each other…not to be difficult. We can work on that part later…haha.

Okay, two more little words of wisdom and then I’ll let you and I both digest this information for awhile.

“Never discuss money or the cost of anything in dollars and cents during the initial stage of connecting with someone. Consciously avoid talking about it. Whenever the question of the bill arises-the amount of a charge, the cost of the tickets, the price of gas, etc.-just be generous and gracious. Whether he picks up the tab for a two-hundred-dollar dinner or a two-dollar ice cream cone, thank him very sincerely.” This may sound strange but his reasoning makes sense. Read the book. Okay, I’ll tell you. He said something to the effect that you don’t want him to think that you think he is only good for his money…that you are desperate for money or anything like that. I gave the book back to my friend so I really don’t remember what his exact words were, but it was good…just trust me!

Finally, as far as the way we act while getting acquainted with a man, he says, “Ask yourself this: Will he think this is cute or crazy? Something that you and your girlfriends think is adorable, he may think is completely nuts so keep the quirks to yourself until you are completely comfortable with the guy.” “This isn’t about TMI; you just don’t want to seem weird. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be yourself-just make sure to present your quirks so they seem cute, not crazy.” This is a good one for me because I am kind of crazy! I have to be careful that my way crazy, weird side doesn’t sneak out too quickly!

On the subject of crazy and fun…I’ve been a little absent from the blog for awhile because my cute nieces and nephews have been in town the last 2 weekends. I love hanging out with them and letting them do whatever they want to do so that they think I’m the coolest aunt around. Okay, not completely true but I do like to have fun with them. I am completely worn out and glad that I don’t have to do this all day every day just yet. For now it’s fun to have fun with them and let their parents worry about the rest! I am taking a small break from them this evening to go out and meet some new people though. I am kind of excited about it so I will write about it in the next couple of days. I’m not guaranteeing anything for tomorrow because the kiddos aren’t leaving until Monday morning. Even after that, I may just sleep all the way through next week!

P.S...To My Vegas Friends:

I will be in town March 31 through April 5 so if you know any worthy, eligible, single men that you wouldn't mind subjecting to an evening of my company in that time period, feel free to let me know and hook it up. I already have one lined up but I'm all for Vegas guys because I can identify with them better than some of the other men I meet these days. You know where to find me.

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