If at first you don’t succeed…beg. Just as I was feeling once again that I was at the end of all possibility, a new door or two opened up to me by way of the ever popular blogging world! Remember how last week I guest posted on the coolest blog ever?? For those who don’t know me, just know that I am rather sarcastic. As a result of my silliness and sarcasm, I decided to add a post script to the bottom of my long lecture on relationship advice. Did you see it? Yes, I resorted to begging. This particular blog has a rather numerous following and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try and sell my soul for a minute to get another date. So, the post scrip read something like this, “ps…If you know any single guys in their late 20’s to early 30’s ish, with their normalicy still in tact, feel free to send them my way. As it turned out, three people did feel free…and bless them!
Number fourteen who is nameless in every way because I can’t really think of a name for him yet, called me on Monday evening. One of his female relations was kind enough to hook that up. Anyway, we chatted for a few minutes and he seemed like a kindred soul with a sense of humor, so I was pleased. Later that night, after a most exciting ward outing at the ice skating oval (that’s right…we had an ice skating activity…and I was AWESOME thanks to my practice!!), I took a couple of my friends home downtown and then talked to Mr. Fourteen on my way back home for a few minutes. The next day we texted a little bit and I found that he could be good at texting and still had a sense of humor. Whew! What a relief! We talked about getting together soon and tentatively made plans for the next day or Friday. Wednesday rolled around and turned out to be the day. He couldn’t wait to meet me any longer! Haha…just kidding, he didn’t say that, but it is to be expected of course! ;)
It had been a long day for me and we ended up getting together a little later on in the evening. We had a hard time coming up with something to do (I know…I’ve probably lectured about this previously, but I just wasn’t liking any of my formerly listed ideas at the time). Finally, we decided to hang out at his house, so I headed out in the rain to find his place of abode. It was easy to find and refreshing to walk into a man’s house that didn’t smell like boy and was actually very clean. Impressive! We decided to head out for some food first thing. As we were trying to decided what would be most delicious, he suggested a Thai place nearby. Are you serious?? Thai food is one of my favorite foods and very close to my heart! :) The place did not disappoint. It was so delicious! I can’t remember the name of it but it was on State Street near 2100 South. Go there. You will not be disappointed either.
We talked easily through dinner and on the way home he played some of his favorite tunes for me. His wide array of musical genres and styles was also impressive. When arriving back at his house, he showed me the music video to one of the tunes which is my new favorite song for sooo many reasons. I had heard it before but forgotten it for some reason. Anyway, you can check it out here! Since he had hooked up his iphone to the t.v., we watched some upcoming movie trailers using one of his apps. It was kind of cool. I don’t own such things but it was fun to just chat a little and get to know each other. Before too long, he was tired (I was putting him to sleep as is my usual custom with boys….) so I went home. He gave me a hug and sent me on my way. We texted when I got home and that was that.
About the night…I’m not sure what to think. If I were him, I probably wouldn’t want to hang out with me again. I felt like I was really boring and LAME SAUCE! I hate it when I meet new people and then get all shy. I’m not usually like that. I’m pretty outgoing, fun, crazy, weird, and yeah…all of those things again! So, I don’t think I was very impressionable, but…that is okay. You can’t change the past and you are who you are. Sometimes I AM shy. I guess that’s why it’s always good to keep the door open for a little while and give people chances huh? This is a lesson I am learning. Remember last year when I didn’t? See, I’ve come a long way already. Now I just need a chance…or a door…to keep open. Hmmm….
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
In the Interim...
It's been a little while since I've had a date. A little over a month actually. In the time since #13 decided to drop me like last night's prostitute, I've been doing some further research and studying. I've also been living my life. For weeks now I have meant to share some of the great new treasures of knowledge that I have obtained but...my living has gotten somewhat in the way. Never fear though...you have a way to read my words of advice, or those of Ms. Dr. Laura (who I have recently been studying) on my friend's popular blog 'Or So She Says.' You can access it from the button on the left of the link here. Either way, it's always an honor to be posted there and mostly, I have priorities people. I had to write the post so I could win the fabulous dress in her recent giveaway. Everything worked out in my favor and now I have a dress and a new post to show for it. But anyway...
My living has also found me reading books for pleasure. I like to read for pleasure and learning at the same time however. Books that make me feel smarter, just make me feel better inside, and they make me feel like I can discuss important things in social settings. With that, I am currently reading, "The Agony and the Ecstasy." It is a biographical novel about Michelangelo. So far so good. Keeping my horizons broad as I choose books, has helped me to see the world through many different windows. I love looking at things with new perspective and learning something of a trade unfamiliar to what I do. So, if you are into reading and don't mind a really long book about art...pick this one up. More on my other gallivantings and wanderings soon!
My living has also found me reading books for pleasure. I like to read for pleasure and learning at the same time however. Books that make me feel smarter, just make me feel better inside, and they make me feel like I can discuss important things in social settings. With that, I am currently reading, "The Agony and the Ecstasy." It is a biographical novel about Michelangelo. So far so good. Keeping my horizons broad as I choose books, has helped me to see the world through many different windows. I love looking at things with new perspective and learning something of a trade unfamiliar to what I do. So, if you are into reading and don't mind a really long book about art...pick this one up. More on my other gallivantings and wanderings soon!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Life is an Adventure
I’m alive! Very alive in fact! One good thing about me being rejected by boys is the push it gives me to live life and love it for myself. It causes reflection about where I’m at and where I want to be. So, the last several weeks for me have been all about how I can make my life fun right now for ME. Also, the good thing about being interested in many different boys is that it opens your eyes to different types of activities that you may not have been interested in before. I am always looking to be more involved with life and what other people are doing. It has led me to many new interests of my own and is helpful in social situations so that I don’t always have to be the one who “hasn’t done that” before. Okay, that usually is me, but I’m fixing that.
I have had some great adventures since last time we caught up. This last Monday, President’s day, I went snow shoeing for the first time ever. Wow, it was amazing! The snow was freshly fallen and the world up there was absolutely beautiful! It was so healing for me to be back in my mountains again. I’ve missed them. I always dread winter and curse it for its’ never ending length because I get that itching to be in the mountains hiking. Well, I think I’ve found my solution. Lately I’ve decided to embrace winter and enjoy it while it’s here. So, snow shoeing came up first on the list. It’s a lot like hiking, only WAY more exhausting! I love getting a good workout that way though, and enjoying the beauty that I am surrounded by as well! Also, it gave me a chance to hang out with a few of my guy friends, which is always fun. I like being able to hang out with guys and not worry about whether or not we are going to date because well, we are just friends and we know that’s all it will ever be. In fact, one of them was my #7 I think…which is actually #13’s brother but anyway, it was good to have it like old times with him again when we used to go do stuff, like hike.
The last few weeks have also found me back at the country dancing club! I hadn’t been in months since my friend went away but, I decided it was time to get back into it. I’ve been twice the last few weeks and had so much fun! Of course I’m super rusty but I’ve met lots of cute guys and had fun just trying to dance. I love it! It feels good to be out, to mingle, to feel young, and to do whatever I want to do.
In addition, I recently went to a show in a shady part of town where local musicians show off their stuff. I think it was #4 that was playing there so I took another guy with me (just a friend) and we checked it out. It was super ghetto but that’s half of what made it so cool. Number four was awesome and the other bands…they were okay! I had a good time doing something different and ended up having a much needed great talk with the friend who agreed to be my wing man.
This week also took me ice skating. I decided that after years on solid ground, it was time to try my skills on the old ice again. At first I wondered what I had just paid for because I was pretty positive that once around the oval was enough for another several years on solid ground but…I persevered and after an hour of almost straight skating, I was getting pretty good. Sometimes people like to go ice skating, so I figured it was a good idea to brush up on my skills, or to find some to begin with, so that next time an ice skating party comes around I won’t look so silly out there.
As for my other adventures, I have many planned and some keep falling through due to weather, or other inconveniences. Hopefully tonight’s fun adventures will be a go one way or the other. I’m also hoping to learn how to snow board tomorrow, depending on the weather. We wanted to go last week but, it was raining. So, maybe before winter is over I will get out there at least once. Either way, next winter I will be much more prepared for fun, and maybe it won’t seem so long and horrible!
I have had some great adventures since last time we caught up. This last Monday, President’s day, I went snow shoeing for the first time ever. Wow, it was amazing! The snow was freshly fallen and the world up there was absolutely beautiful! It was so healing for me to be back in my mountains again. I’ve missed them. I always dread winter and curse it for its’ never ending length because I get that itching to be in the mountains hiking. Well, I think I’ve found my solution. Lately I’ve decided to embrace winter and enjoy it while it’s here. So, snow shoeing came up first on the list. It’s a lot like hiking, only WAY more exhausting! I love getting a good workout that way though, and enjoying the beauty that I am surrounded by as well! Also, it gave me a chance to hang out with a few of my guy friends, which is always fun. I like being able to hang out with guys and not worry about whether or not we are going to date because well, we are just friends and we know that’s all it will ever be. In fact, one of them was my #7 I think…which is actually #13’s brother but anyway, it was good to have it like old times with him again when we used to go do stuff, like hike.
(Look at this!!)
(The boys I was with)
(Me!)
The last few weeks have also found me back at the country dancing club! I hadn’t been in months since my friend went away but, I decided it was time to get back into it. I’ve been twice the last few weeks and had so much fun! Of course I’m super rusty but I’ve met lots of cute guys and had fun just trying to dance. I love it! It feels good to be out, to mingle, to feel young, and to do whatever I want to do.
(Random Internet picture but...sweat happens! haha)
In addition, I recently went to a show in a shady part of town where local musicians show off their stuff. I think it was #4 that was playing there so I took another guy with me (just a friend) and we checked it out. It was super ghetto but that’s half of what made it so cool. Number four was awesome and the other bands…they were okay! I had a good time doing something different and ended up having a much needed great talk with the friend who agreed to be my wing man.
This week also took me ice skating. I decided that after years on solid ground, it was time to try my skills on the old ice again. At first I wondered what I had just paid for because I was pretty positive that once around the oval was enough for another several years on solid ground but…I persevered and after an hour of almost straight skating, I was getting pretty good. Sometimes people like to go ice skating, so I figured it was a good idea to brush up on my skills, or to find some to begin with, so that next time an ice skating party comes around I won’t look so silly out there.
(Me after a little practice. Jk!!)
As for my other adventures, I have many planned and some keep falling through due to weather, or other inconveniences. Hopefully tonight’s fun adventures will be a go one way or the other. I’m also hoping to learn how to snow board tomorrow, depending on the weather. We wanted to go last week but, it was raining. So, maybe before winter is over I will get out there at least once. Either way, next winter I will be much more prepared for fun, and maybe it won’t seem so long and horrible!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Social Circles
As I get older, I increasingly see the importance of a variety of social circles in my daily existence. For starters, different people bring out different sides of you. It is always fun to explore these multiple facets of one’s own personality, but it is also important in that you show the world who you are and you can figure out where you fit best…where you most feel that you belong. Another valuable reason for keeping many circles is of course the opportunity to meet a much larger group of people. When you aren’t getting any younger and marriage is on the brain, you are more likely to meet that “one” you are searching for if you actually take the initiative to search. As with anything good in life…it takes work and effort.
This weekend’s adventures only reaffirmed my belief in the social circle theory. Friday night I went on a most adventurous and fun filled outing with two of my female friends. A friend of a friend of a friend was hosting a huge party out in a small town with a large house! The adventure began as we decided to use a GPS device to guide us to our destination…instead of the given directions. We stopped for dinner as we thought we were getting close to the previously mentioned shenanigans. Soon after our pit stop, we came to the end of our road…literally. The road was blocked due to a huge snow mound. We stopped and debated what to do for quite some time before deciding to go ALL the way around the other direction…where we were supposed to go in the first place.
As a result of our several hour detour, we did not arrive at the party until midnight. It’s okay though…the party was still going strong with over 50 people there playing games, watching movies, singing karaoke, and enjoying a nice big bonfire in the great outdoors under the vastly lit, star filled sky! I decided upon entering the party, to be as outgoing as possible, and to make the most of the situation. I made my way around the various groups, feeling them out, and letting my presence be known. People seemed generally into their own groups however, and hardly able to break out of them to meet somebody new. No worry though, I kept trekking on despite.
I finally decided to brave the bitter cold outdoors to enjoy that big fire they had ablaze. The group out there seemed slightly more socially welcoming, if not a little awkward in their hickish ways. Immediately a young man made room on his bench for me. The wind seemed to be blowing in my direction causing more than a little irritation to my eyes from the smoke however. I complained about it light heartedly and he said, “I’d tell you to move but you are too pretty to leave.” Well, while that was funny, it still gave me a little bit of confidence to bring on the flirty side of me. After some time, a bench across the fire opened up and he asked if I wanted to move over there. I replied in the affirmative and we both moved to the bench just big enough for two. He kept trying to sit real close and put his arm around me. The fire was nice, the stars were beautiful and the company was…okay! I even saw a shooting star.
It didn’t take me long however, to deduce that the average age of this group was…well, young. The boy making his move on me? Yeah, 22! So, after some quality time enjoying the fire, my friends decided to stroll on back into the house. I told my new friend that I had better follow the masses. He seemed disappointed and said, “really?” Then, he whispered to me, “I hear there is mistletoe in these trees…when there are shooting stars.” (Wait, wait…insert a good hearty laugh here and an award for cheesiest pick up line of the year!!) Okay, now that that is out of the way, I replied with a flirty, “oh really? I just saw a shooting star. It went THAT way.” He said, “ohhh, so maybe it is in those trees over THERE. I should go find it!” Haha but he was 22 and I was not interested, so I went in the house. It gave me a good laugh however, and the confidence to go in and meet the rest of my fellow party goers.
It ended up being a late night with little sleeping time, but that’s what parties are all about, right? In the morning we had a nice big breakfast, I mingled some more, and then went out to play in the snow with my friends. The snowmobiles were taken so we set out to find a good hill to sled/tube down. While we were mostly unsuccessful at this endeavor, we still had a good time. People were snowball fighting, four wheeling, snowmobiling, and when my party and I had to leave, they pulled out horses for a sleigh ride. Good party. Still however, I left a little disappointed. More than anything, I guess I was just discouraged at the wide array of people, yet lack of social variety. I wondered for the billionth time in my life how I would ever find a husband among such crowds. I don’t think I will quite honestly, but it makes me feel better to be out there trying at least.
After arriving home I realized I was pretty exhausted. Even still, I had more partying to attend to that night so I tried to get a few things done and visit with family. The Saturday night party was held by a friend of my down in Provo. It was a game night with a bunch of her peeps. I thought it was super fun and rather refreshing after the previous party. Why? Well, these people are just chill. They were friendly, fun, and not afraid to just be themselves. I was pretty low key but I had fun being in the atmosphere, and knowing I was out and about, and not wallowing in self pity at home. Good weekend. Good indeed. Many more such adventures are on the horizon with planning already in the works. Tomorrow night should be packed with fun, social opportunities, and lots of entertainment. Stay tuned!
This weekend’s adventures only reaffirmed my belief in the social circle theory. Friday night I went on a most adventurous and fun filled outing with two of my female friends. A friend of a friend of a friend was hosting a huge party out in a small town with a large house! The adventure began as we decided to use a GPS device to guide us to our destination…instead of the given directions. We stopped for dinner as we thought we were getting close to the previously mentioned shenanigans. Soon after our pit stop, we came to the end of our road…literally. The road was blocked due to a huge snow mound. We stopped and debated what to do for quite some time before deciding to go ALL the way around the other direction…where we were supposed to go in the first place.
As a result of our several hour detour, we did not arrive at the party until midnight. It’s okay though…the party was still going strong with over 50 people there playing games, watching movies, singing karaoke, and enjoying a nice big bonfire in the great outdoors under the vastly lit, star filled sky! I decided upon entering the party, to be as outgoing as possible, and to make the most of the situation. I made my way around the various groups, feeling them out, and letting my presence be known. People seemed generally into their own groups however, and hardly able to break out of them to meet somebody new. No worry though, I kept trekking on despite.
I finally decided to brave the bitter cold outdoors to enjoy that big fire they had ablaze. The group out there seemed slightly more socially welcoming, if not a little awkward in their hickish ways. Immediately a young man made room on his bench for me. The wind seemed to be blowing in my direction causing more than a little irritation to my eyes from the smoke however. I complained about it light heartedly and he said, “I’d tell you to move but you are too pretty to leave.” Well, while that was funny, it still gave me a little bit of confidence to bring on the flirty side of me. After some time, a bench across the fire opened up and he asked if I wanted to move over there. I replied in the affirmative and we both moved to the bench just big enough for two. He kept trying to sit real close and put his arm around me. The fire was nice, the stars were beautiful and the company was…okay! I even saw a shooting star.
It didn’t take me long however, to deduce that the average age of this group was…well, young. The boy making his move on me? Yeah, 22! So, after some quality time enjoying the fire, my friends decided to stroll on back into the house. I told my new friend that I had better follow the masses. He seemed disappointed and said, “really?” Then, he whispered to me, “I hear there is mistletoe in these trees…when there are shooting stars.” (Wait, wait…insert a good hearty laugh here and an award for cheesiest pick up line of the year!!) Okay, now that that is out of the way, I replied with a flirty, “oh really? I just saw a shooting star. It went THAT way.” He said, “ohhh, so maybe it is in those trees over THERE. I should go find it!” Haha but he was 22 and I was not interested, so I went in the house. It gave me a good laugh however, and the confidence to go in and meet the rest of my fellow party goers.
It ended up being a late night with little sleeping time, but that’s what parties are all about, right? In the morning we had a nice big breakfast, I mingled some more, and then went out to play in the snow with my friends. The snowmobiles were taken so we set out to find a good hill to sled/tube down. While we were mostly unsuccessful at this endeavor, we still had a good time. People were snowball fighting, four wheeling, snowmobiling, and when my party and I had to leave, they pulled out horses for a sleigh ride. Good party. Still however, I left a little disappointed. More than anything, I guess I was just discouraged at the wide array of people, yet lack of social variety. I wondered for the billionth time in my life how I would ever find a husband among such crowds. I don’t think I will quite honestly, but it makes me feel better to be out there trying at least.
After arriving home I realized I was pretty exhausted. Even still, I had more partying to attend to that night so I tried to get a few things done and visit with family. The Saturday night party was held by a friend of my down in Provo. It was a game night with a bunch of her peeps. I thought it was super fun and rather refreshing after the previous party. Why? Well, these people are just chill. They were friendly, fun, and not afraid to just be themselves. I was pretty low key but I had fun being in the atmosphere, and knowing I was out and about, and not wallowing in self pity at home. Good weekend. Good indeed. Many more such adventures are on the horizon with planning already in the works. Tomorrow night should be packed with fun, social opportunities, and lots of entertainment. Stay tuned!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Square Zero
I know I’ve kept you waiting…some things are just hard to post. So, I guess I will come right out with it. Mr. Keeper is no longer a keeper. Okay, he is a keeper…just friend style. That’s what we’ve worked out to be and that’s okay. From the short time we spent together, I learned A LOT about myself and relationships, etc. It was valuable and to be honest, that was all I was hoping for from the relationship in the first place. I just happened to get so caught up in the excitement of it, and of feeling secure knowing somebody cared about me and what I was doing, that I lost sight of my ultimate goals. No worries however, I know that things have worked out for the best!
Now it is easy for us girls in these situations to go back in our minds and over analyze every little thing that was said or done! I am trying my absolute hardest to fight against that. I know that there are things I could have done better and I vow to learn from those for the future. But tearing myself apart over being who I am is not doing anyone any favors. Instead, I choose to focus on the positive. Mr. Keeper and I had some FUN times together! He said and did so many things that were really sweet for me. I know that he meant them. As I continue my research in the relationship field, I am constantly reminded of the simplicity of men and their differences from us. They say what they mean and generally don’t hold grudges and over analyze as we do. These are comforting thoughts that help me to move forward and to be at peace with the situation. (ps..I am currently reading, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” by Dr. Laura)
So, what now? Well, I have a couple of awesome parties to attend this weekend. Tonight is an overnighter in the mountains not too far from here. There are sure to be many in attendance and good times to be had by all. Snow…toys…men…how much better can it get? This fun time will take us through tomorrow morning. Then, tomorrow night I have another engagement down south with some old friends that I haven’t seen in way too long, and lots of strangers just waiting to meet me! Besides these parties, I am refocusing my life on all of the things I have been neglecting over the last several weeks. Yes, yes, I know this is one of my major problems with the whole relationship thing. It is helpful to know that now though, and it feels good to be ME again and to be responsible and get caught up with life. I’m back! And with that, I am more ready than ever to find Mr. Right!!
Now it is easy for us girls in these situations to go back in our minds and over analyze every little thing that was said or done! I am trying my absolute hardest to fight against that. I know that there are things I could have done better and I vow to learn from those for the future. But tearing myself apart over being who I am is not doing anyone any favors. Instead, I choose to focus on the positive. Mr. Keeper and I had some FUN times together! He said and did so many things that were really sweet for me. I know that he meant them. As I continue my research in the relationship field, I am constantly reminded of the simplicity of men and their differences from us. They say what they mean and generally don’t hold grudges and over analyze as we do. These are comforting thoughts that help me to move forward and to be at peace with the situation. (ps..I am currently reading, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” by Dr. Laura)
So, what now? Well, I have a couple of awesome parties to attend this weekend. Tonight is an overnighter in the mountains not too far from here. There are sure to be many in attendance and good times to be had by all. Snow…toys…men…how much better can it get? This fun time will take us through tomorrow morning. Then, tomorrow night I have another engagement down south with some old friends that I haven’t seen in way too long, and lots of strangers just waiting to meet me! Besides these parties, I am refocusing my life on all of the things I have been neglecting over the last several weeks. Yes, yes, I know this is one of my major problems with the whole relationship thing. It is helpful to know that now though, and it feels good to be ME again and to be responsible and get caught up with life. I’m back! And with that, I am more ready than ever to find Mr. Right!!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
2011
I’ve always been a huge fan of roller coasters. They are always met with crazy anticipation which builds as you ascend the first big hill. More often than not the ride that follows is fast, breathtaking, and somewhat unpredictable. The enjoyment level of this adventurous activity rarely disappoints. It’s odd how when compared to life, the same excitement just doesn’t come to mind when discussing the event. No, in the rollercoaster of life, we remember the tough climbs, the ride seems slower and more laborious, and the loss of equilibrium well remembered. Yes, my life is a never ending roller coaster it seems and I’m beginning to wonder if I am so sure about my standing regarding the activity. But, those down hills are definitely fun so maybe, maybe we can deal with the climbs and semi-off balanced moments.
I bring up this particular analogy for life as mine has been somewhat off balance lately. As a result, I have failed to update you on my goals and make my own solid resolutions for the new year. Don’t get me wrong though, my life is great! It’s just that focusing on any ONE thing in too much abundance can eventually lead to those equilibrium problems mentioned above. I’ve noticed lately that I really need to get back to a more normal routine but…I’m not sure what that is anymore! What is that? And how does it involve a really awesome man?? I guess we learn as we go huh?
Things in the man department still seem to be as good as ever. I feel like I am really getting to know him and who he is. And…I like him! Yes, Mr. Keeper is still a keeper in my book but, who knows what 2011 will bring. If things don’t work out with him, I know that my dating journey will continue and I might even reach those 40 one day. But for now, in regards to dating, my goals have changed. I no longer wish to date 40 men. I know how to do a first date. I almost know how to snag a date. Flirting? Check. It’s the real meat of the relationship that now has me somewhat baffled but learning on well…an hourly basis! It’s fun but definitely HARD! I quite often feel inadequate and wonder what I am doing. Sometimes I want to back up in time and just stay complacent in those moments that were easy…where I was lonely but knew who I was as an individual and did not have to worry and wonder about what someone else thought of me. Thankfully this guy is very reassuring and kind and patient with me. Though I constantly battle with myself NOT to be needy and obnoxious that way, believe me!! Anyway, that’s where I stand date wise…I am now determined to get more actual relationship experience sooo, we will see!
Another huge goal from last year was my weight loss. I feel like I was fairly successful, losing almost 30 pounds last year! I only have a little over 10 pounds to go until I reach my goal weight! Not bad huh! I feel fabulous!! Now…I just need some money to purchase some clothing so that I can stop looking so ridiculous in my 3 sizes too big pants every day! That brings me to my next goal of 2011 which is a new one! It is the year of the money! I just paid off my car and therefore have a huge desire to get further out of debt and well on my way to a more stable financial future. If I want to move forward with my life…this is a must. I don’t want anything holding me back when the time is right!
So, as I continue my year, I have a desire to continue most of my goals from last year but in a modified way. I still want to learn as much as I can. I think that any knowledge gained is a success…so I will continue to find ways to be more well rounded. Oh…and I still want to conquer the 40 books in the Old Testament…even if I can’t date 40 men! Such a big number constantly weighing over me! Anyway, it is a good year…good things are going to happen…I can feel it!
I bring up this particular analogy for life as mine has been somewhat off balance lately. As a result, I have failed to update you on my goals and make my own solid resolutions for the new year. Don’t get me wrong though, my life is great! It’s just that focusing on any ONE thing in too much abundance can eventually lead to those equilibrium problems mentioned above. I’ve noticed lately that I really need to get back to a more normal routine but…I’m not sure what that is anymore! What is that? And how does it involve a really awesome man?? I guess we learn as we go huh?
Things in the man department still seem to be as good as ever. I feel like I am really getting to know him and who he is. And…I like him! Yes, Mr. Keeper is still a keeper in my book but, who knows what 2011 will bring. If things don’t work out with him, I know that my dating journey will continue and I might even reach those 40 one day. But for now, in regards to dating, my goals have changed. I no longer wish to date 40 men. I know how to do a first date. I almost know how to snag a date. Flirting? Check. It’s the real meat of the relationship that now has me somewhat baffled but learning on well…an hourly basis! It’s fun but definitely HARD! I quite often feel inadequate and wonder what I am doing. Sometimes I want to back up in time and just stay complacent in those moments that were easy…where I was lonely but knew who I was as an individual and did not have to worry and wonder about what someone else thought of me. Thankfully this guy is very reassuring and kind and patient with me. Though I constantly battle with myself NOT to be needy and obnoxious that way, believe me!! Anyway, that’s where I stand date wise…I am now determined to get more actual relationship experience sooo, we will see!
Another huge goal from last year was my weight loss. I feel like I was fairly successful, losing almost 30 pounds last year! I only have a little over 10 pounds to go until I reach my goal weight! Not bad huh! I feel fabulous!! Now…I just need some money to purchase some clothing so that I can stop looking so ridiculous in my 3 sizes too big pants every day! That brings me to my next goal of 2011 which is a new one! It is the year of the money! I just paid off my car and therefore have a huge desire to get further out of debt and well on my way to a more stable financial future. If I want to move forward with my life…this is a must. I don’t want anything holding me back when the time is right!
So, as I continue my year, I have a desire to continue most of my goals from last year but in a modified way. I still want to learn as much as I can. I think that any knowledge gained is a success…so I will continue to find ways to be more well rounded. Oh…and I still want to conquer the 40 books in the Old Testament…even if I can’t date 40 men! Such a big number constantly weighing over me! Anyway, it is a good year…good things are going to happen…I can feel it!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Distracted
For several reasons I have neglected to update in a little while. I’ve been busy, distracted, and trying to decide whether or not to stick around the internet! I think that for now I will just continue to update as I see fit because I really enjoy writing and…your company! I also enjoy the company of Mr. Keeper and have been taking in as much of it as possible over the last few weeks. I know, I know, I’m totally ignoring the rules. Okay, not completely…I’m trying to be somewhat more careful about how I play, “The Game.” By ignoring “the rules,” I mean that I’ve been a little too available. At first I was careful about it…somewhat. Lately however, I have been there for him at every request…or lack of request. Not good, right?! Thankfully he still seems happy in my company and quite ready to continue our shenanigans.
Before I go any further, I know you are dying for some details so I will share a little and then tell you what I’m thinking! Things are GREAT! I am SO happy! :) Mr. Keeper is a fun, fun guy. We are both ridiculously sarcastic so we get along well and have no trouble texting all day and night…or talking on the phone…or hanging out. He is a nice person too. He’s a good guy. So for now, we are having fun. He is really nice to me as well as respectful. We have hung out several times and usually end up staying together until all hours of the night or morning. He hasn’t kissed me but I’m kind of glad. It makes me feel like he really likes to be with me, and doesn’t just want to make out! :) Haha. He is a great cuddler though! He’s held my hand and given me some good squeezes so really, that whole drought thing is finally starting to be compensated for!
Despite all of the great things that happen, I am still a girl and being who I am, can find something to worry about in anything. In this situation I often find myself getting worried that any minute he is not going to like me, or that something bad will happen. I keep thinking of the words from my favorite book, “Their Eyes Were Watching God.” The following paragraph rings so true to me as I have often related in a similar manner. It reads:
"In the cool of the afternoon the fiend from hell specially sent to lovers arrived at Jaine's ear. Doubt. All the fears that circumstance could provide and the heart feel, attacked her on every side. This was a new sensation for her, but no less excruciating. If only Tea Cake would make her certain! He did not return that night nor the next and so she plunged into the abyss and descended to the ninth darkness where light has never been."
Wow, well said Ms. Hurston. Anyway, I like to doubt things but I am trying very hard not to let this show when I communicate with the man! I’m trying to keep it chill when I am with him, or not, and so far it seems to be working. Either way though, I’d really like to know where we are at. You know the dreaded, DTR (define the relationship), guess sometimes it’s necessary after all. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to enjoy life and not worry too terribly much because I know that whatever happens is meant to happen. I will let you know how things progress! For now however, I think I need to catch up on some lost sleep! Something has been keeping me up late!
Before I go any further, I know you are dying for some details so I will share a little and then tell you what I’m thinking! Things are GREAT! I am SO happy! :) Mr. Keeper is a fun, fun guy. We are both ridiculously sarcastic so we get along well and have no trouble texting all day and night…or talking on the phone…or hanging out. He is a nice person too. He’s a good guy. So for now, we are having fun. He is really nice to me as well as respectful. We have hung out several times and usually end up staying together until all hours of the night or morning. He hasn’t kissed me but I’m kind of glad. It makes me feel like he really likes to be with me, and doesn’t just want to make out! :) Haha. He is a great cuddler though! He’s held my hand and given me some good squeezes so really, that whole drought thing is finally starting to be compensated for!
Despite all of the great things that happen, I am still a girl and being who I am, can find something to worry about in anything. In this situation I often find myself getting worried that any minute he is not going to like me, or that something bad will happen. I keep thinking of the words from my favorite book, “Their Eyes Were Watching God.” The following paragraph rings so true to me as I have often related in a similar manner. It reads:
"In the cool of the afternoon the fiend from hell specially sent to lovers arrived at Jaine's ear. Doubt. All the fears that circumstance could provide and the heart feel, attacked her on every side. This was a new sensation for her, but no less excruciating. If only Tea Cake would make her certain! He did not return that night nor the next and so she plunged into the abyss and descended to the ninth darkness where light has never been."
Wow, well said Ms. Hurston. Anyway, I like to doubt things but I am trying very hard not to let this show when I communicate with the man! I’m trying to keep it chill when I am with him, or not, and so far it seems to be working. Either way though, I’d really like to know where we are at. You know the dreaded, DTR (define the relationship), guess sometimes it’s necessary after all. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to enjoy life and not worry too terribly much because I know that whatever happens is meant to happen. I will let you know how things progress! For now however, I think I need to catch up on some lost sleep! Something has been keeping me up late!
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