Remember back when I started this adventure and I was
getting myself out there in as many ways possible? Those were fun times! I’m
trying to do that now and having all kinds of amazing experiences! One thing
that continually fills my soul as well as gets me out there is institute class.
Remember the teacher that I loved back when I started? Well I am lucky enough
that she now teaches an institute class just for my ward alone. We get her all
to ourselves. This has been one of the greatest blessings of my year.
Last night was the beginning of a new class with her which
was exceptional as to be expected. There is one friendly guy in the class who I
know from church as well. He likes to lead the music. He is also much older
than me (or so he looks) but is mentally challenged in some way. Last night he
asked me for a ride home after class so I readily agreed.
On the way to his house we talked. When class last ended in
June he was dating another special girl in the class. I didn’t see her last
night so I determined that I would ask him about her on the way home so that we
would have something to talk about. He first told me about his seminary
experience having attended a local special education school. It sounded great. J I then got to the
topic of this girl and whether or not the were still dating. Immediately he let
out a frustrated sigh and said, “Ya know, she is a nice girl but….”
Here I digress for a minute to point out that in my days of
dating as many guys as possible to meet the marriage challenge, I read many
relationship books, I attended talks and workshops on the subject, and observed
as much as possible in order to learn how best create a lasting relationship. I
found most advice to be congruent with the others and decided as a result that
it was sound indeed. One thing that stood out was that men need their space. If
you give them their space they will appreciate you so much more. Now I know
from experience that it is much easier to read relationship advice than to
follow it. Still, I have noticed my own shortcomings in this area and seen the
demise of certain relationships when I become too attached, too present, too
needy.
Now, back to my special friends. He continued that while this girl was nice, she
called him 7 or 8 times a day, she filled his voice mail box so that no one
else could leave messages, she constantly pressured him about their plans for
hanging out, she said, “I love you” at least 5 times before hanging up the
phone, she texted non-stop all day long. The girl was definitely in the too
present, too needy, too attached category and it was driving this poor guy
crazy! He just wants his space. He wants to live his life and come to her when
he comes to her, return her calls and texts when it is convenient and not
continually be harassed when it isn’t.
As I listened to his complaints I tried to sympathize with
him but I was kind of laughing a little on the inside as I thought about all of
the sound advice given by the experts. Turns out that they know what they are
talking about. And it seems to be advice for just about anyone, no matter your
circumstances in life. I was grateful
for the reaffirmation of this principal and as I continue to search and
hopefully someday find that guy that I will end up with forever, I am going to
remember this conversation and all mistakes of the past. In this journey I
think that more than anything, I have certainly learned how to be me and enjoy
it! Life is meant to be enjoyed, even when you are in a
relationship!
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