Latin Lovin #21

Awkward. Uncomfortable. Weird. The list continues. When I was growing up I lived in a sort of "little Mexico." There were many moments though out my life that caused me to feel uncomfortable. For example, I am not sure how many families lived in the house across the street at one point but it was definitely more than one. Two of the men would sit out on the front porch and when I would walk out of my house to my car, they would whistle and things. When I was younger I had a boy, "Noel," who used to harass me and say inappropriate things when he would see me. This happened for years. It took me many more years to like the song, "The First Noel." When I held a sign on a street corner for a high school car wash, a couple of them yelled out the window to me, "You want my body??" Unfortunately I heard, "You want my money?" I nodded enthusiastically and they blew me kisses. Ugh! A few years back I went Latin dancing with a good friend of mine. Almost right away I had somewhat of a leach. He couldn't speak much English but did repeatedly ask me to marry him and said, "I love you already" in his thick Spanish accent.

Now I'm not saying that I am racist or anything like that because I'm not. I also have had many friends through the years who are of the Hispanic culture. I've also just had many experiences that have made me uncomfortable and have somehow caused inside of me a hesitancy when it comes to men. That being said, I work with a teacher from Peru. I teach his students twice a week. He also attends my class. When I met him, I was positive that he was married. Still, he has been really friendly to me. He is pretty good looking but I was just friendly in a distance sort of way due to his marital status. Last week he added me on facebook. I was shocked. Late Saturday night I was in a hotel in a city far from here charging my phone on the computer they provided for public use. To kill time I of course got on facebook. Said teacher was also online and started a conversation. Yikes.

The entire conversation made me feel kind of out of sorts. He confessed that he doesn't talk about his personal life at school much but he is divorced. Interesting because all over his facebook are pictures of him and his wife kissing and stuff. Anyway, I don't remember how it all went down but as soon as I found that out I found a way to get off. The next night I was again on facebook while cooking dinner. He was also on and started chatting again. Don't you hate it when you have to put that you are offline so that certain people will not talk to you? Me too but after that conversation it had to be done. Still, the damage was already done. He was cooking dinner too. Peruvian food. He expressed a desire to cook for me and said "let's find a time this week." Eventually that time came and last night was the big night. :/

We had talked before about him cooking me dinner and me making dessert because I am good at that. So, I prepared and put together a grocery bag with all of my supplies. When he picked me up he called to tell me he was at my door. Minus point number one! Boo!! I opened the door and there he stood dressed in a full on suit and tie with a rose in his hand. Ummm.... I felt super awkward before he even arrived but that did not help the situation in any way. I am a weird girl and I HATE it when guys bring me flowers. If it was a guy I was dating or interested in that would be a different story. I hate it on the first date though. Uncomfortable. We got in his car and he asked where I would like to eat. What?? So confused! I know we speak different languages but I thought I was pretty clear on the plan. We went to the Cheesecake Factory. In many ways I was relieved to be in a public place. It just took forever.

After dinner we went to the movie. We arrived an hour early. I thought my night would NEVER end! He talked a lot. And sometimes his accent is hard to decipher. I felt somewhat violated and I don't know why. I'm just pretty sure that he has us dating at the very least. We watched, "Mission Impossible." I am sore from leaning away from him. A tough task but he was trying REALLY hard. Ugh! Longest movie everrrrrr. I finally arrived home and he said he had fun and wants to plan a time next week to cook together. No!! I don't know what to do cause I feel like I am 12 again and I suck at this game. I have to go to work now. He will be there. I don't wanna!!!! I'm having an anxiety attack. I hate dating. I hate all of this! I kept thinking about the pilot. Wishing I was with him. Wishing he would be a little more willing to set up the next date with me and stuff. But nothing ever seems to match up all in the same guy. Anyway, I am late but I wanted to post. More later.