People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Mr. Dry #18

First dates make up some of the most awkward moments in our lives. Every time another one rolls around you can’t help but wonder what you are about to get into and why you have to constantly be put through such torture. I don’t mean to say that the date itself is torturous (well, sometimes) but the anticipation of what is to come rather can be quite troubling to both the mind and body. As I waited for yet another blind date to show up at my door tonight I began to get that nervous anticipation and that sinking feeling telling me that I would really rather just stay home than put myself through another night of forced conversations mixed with awkward silences while sitting across from one another, sizing each other up for any possibility of a future such occurrence. 

Tonight’s date was not unlike any other in this regard. But before we get to that part, how about a little background? As mentioned, this was a set up. Last week I received three text messages in a row from a guy who had gotten my number quite some time ago. I guess he was finally ready to make a move. Fine by me since his interest in taking me on a date began before his divorce was finalized. I declined any interest in a connection while that was still in progress. Apparently he was given my number a few months ago and just now decided to make use of it. His texts explained who he was and that he would like to call me later and maybe set up a time to go out and such. I complied and he called me later on that evening.

 The conversation when he called was short and somewhat weird to be honest. I wasn’t too impressed. In fact, I did not really find much good to say about him but kept reminding myself inside to try and be open-minded and nice. You never know right? And, people can be very different in person. I just didn’t really have high hopes for this one. Anyway though, we chatted for a few, he asked what my weekends were like (as if I have them all planned out in advance??) and I let him know that I was free the next day but had plans for the Saturday coming up. He explained that he had his 4 year old daughter every other weekend and that that would be the following weekend. Okay then. He resolved to call and set up a time to go out soon. I just kind of thought that that was what the call was for. So, it was slightly frustrating because I prefer to just meet people. I hate it when guys just call to talk and never ask you out. Lame I know. I do like talking to them, I just wish that they would also ask me out and we could talk there. He also told me by the way, that he had received my number several months ago but “just finally got up the nerve to call.” These are the kinds of things that I totally understand, but don’t want to hear. I want him to be a man, show some confidence, and hide that fact that it is hard to call a girl. Just do it!  

The following Monday rolled around and he texted me asking what my weekend plans were. I told him that I didn’t have any yet and he asked me out for Saturday at Six. I guess it’s easier over text. Still, it’s nice when guys actually call you to ask you out. It seems more polite. He promised to call on Wednesday to figure out what to do and such. So, Wednesday came and he called and informed me that we would be going to dinner and a movie. I have to say, I was impressed he came up with a plan. It’s nice to have a man with a plan, no matter what the plan is. I don’t like to be put on the spot to have to come up with the plan. I figure if they ask me out, they should do the planning. Plus, it makes me feel taken care of and thought about and I like that. But back to the story, he asked me what movies were playing that I was interested in seeing. I answered honestly that I had no idea what was even playing right now. So in return I asked him what he was thinking. He replied that he knew Twilight was playing. And that was it. That’s all he knew was currently playing. I thought it kind of weird really. He actually seemed pretty interested and slightly disappointed that I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I will see it. I just haven’t loved the movies…that’s all. And, I did not want to see this particular one with a strange man. 

After a brief discussion, we decided to further research and decided on Saturday. Today is Saturday. He texted me earlier in the day for my address and informed me that he would like to see, “In Time.” I didn’t remember that in my research so I used my handy Flixter app on the old iphone to check it out. It had a big rotten tomato next to it. The approval ratings were not high from the critics or the users. Sad day. Still, I don’t always agree with their analysis and so decided to keep an open mind about it. You never know with movies….or men. 

He picked me up on time and I immediately noticed our height difference as did he when he mentioned that he had asked our common friend if I was going to tower over his 5’4”. She replied that she was pretty sure I was around the same height. We obviously don’t see each other enough. I am a good 5’7” and did feel like just that….I was towering. Still, some of my best friends are taller than their husbands and things worked out okay for them. I really like to be shorter though! He nicely opened my door however and seemed to be friendly and well mannered so those were bonuses. Almost right away however, I thought I was going to die of heat stroke or something of that matter. He was cold. I was not. I was roasting and getting car sick despite the 2 mile trip to Zupas where we dined in. 

While at dinner I ordered soup and a sandwich. He just ordered the sandwich. Apparently he had been to Rodizio for lunch. Anyone who has been there knows it’s not too hard to overeat. He was still stuffed so I felt slightly awkward eating my dinner alone. He hardly touched his. He told me that he also got nervous before dates and he had nervous stomach or something like that. I didn’t know what to say. It just made me feel a little more awkward. I was starving and had no trouble throwin’ down my food. I’m also a big fan of Zupas so I can’t help but enjoy the food while I’m there….good choice on his part. 

As we (I mean I) ate, the conversation was very strained. We really did not have anything to talk about. We don’t have a whole lot in common and he has a very flat/dry tone when he talks. Mostly he doesn’t sound very excited about anything. He is; his voice is just really bored sounding. I hadn’t thought about conversation too much before going on the date so it was hard for me to keep thinking of things to bring up. I felt like it was me who was doing that though and I don’t like to be the one to keep the conversation going.

 I was glad he chose a movie afterward so that we didn’t have to talk. I was not glad about the choice. We saw, “In Time,” starring Justin Timberlake. First of all, as I mentioned, the reviews were pretty negative. Secondly, how do you take Justin Timberlake seriously? Thirdly, the plot was just ridiculous and it ended up being completely anti-climatic. My date agreed. The whole time I thought, how are they going to end this thing? How will they resolve the conflict? They never actually did…just left you hanging. Also, there were a couple of parts where I felt slightly uncomfortable being on a date due to the lack of clothing and somewhat risqué scenes. All in all….it was kind of a long two hours but I was still grateful I didn’t have to talk to the date. 

On the short drive back to my house we said about as much as we could about the movie and tried to squeeze in any other lame topic we could think of. It was definitely not natural. I was so grateful to pull up in front of my house again. He walked me to the door, gave me a hug, and took off. It was 9:30 and I was glad to have a little time to myself for awhile! Times like these make you appreciate being alone. It’s not so bad after all!

1 comment:

Krissa said...

oh my gosh... its so nice to have someone relate to things... i had that awkwardness before a date... and even worse the feeling of holy heck i don't want to be go, id rather stay home... haha...
sounds like a great date... haha... kidding... its experience right.... after i have dates like that i remind myself i don't need to get so nervous... i know what i am looking for and i am in control... but i guess you can't change nerves...
maybe the next one will be better... crossing my fingers for you!