People often refer to older single's as 'leftovers.' Well, I am no leftover, nor do I deserve to settle for someone that is.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Buried Treasure

Have you ever dug a really big hole with a shovel? When you were little, did you ever try to dig to China? I did…I realized it was a loooong way down! I realized today that for some…like me…marriage is like digging for a buried treasure. My treasure happens to be buried very deeply in the Earth…somewhere near China I’d imagine! Digging a whole is a very taxing labor. Sometimes you work very hard and feel like you have gotten nowhere. Sometimes you just need to stop and take a break. Sometimes those breaks cause discouragement and doubt in your abilities to complete such a daunting task. But all the while, you know that if you just keep digging, you will certainly find treasure, and great prosperity will soon be yours.

In the same sense, I find myself often discouraged at the seemingly lack of progress in the hole in which I am digging. Every once in awhile I stand up and can see the depth of what I have accomplished but most times, I am right in the middle of the dirt, wondering what I have gotten myself into and where my treasure lies. Many people say that marriage happens when you are not looking for it. They always say to forget about it and not to try…and that is when it will come. Well my friends, I am really glad that so many have happened upon their treasure coincidentally but…we are each different AND, I also feel that if I want the reward, I have to do my part to earn it.

Along the same lines…some people may even go so far as to label me and others who pursue their goals as “desperate.” After a good conversation with an invaluable friend the other day…I feel much better about my stance in this regard. I am not desperate but, as she says, I know what I want at this point in my life and I am going after it. And that is OKAY! If I were desperate however, I might make out with the guy that keeps condescending who I am and what my values are. If I were desperate, I may have settled for any of the previous guys that have not been good matches for me. I know what I want and what I deserve. I am also realistic and know that people, even men, are not perfect. I will probably never find a perfect man but I will find a man that is perfect for me. Sometimes it takes a little digging…sometimes it takes a lot…but either way, the treasure buried is specifically meant for me and will be a reward that only I can appreciate to its fullest.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” I fully believe this to be true in every aspect of our lives. I also believe in the idea of creating our existence. It may or may not be the right time for me to be married but, as I put forth the effort, I know I will be rewarded. Sometimes, as mentioned in many previous posts, I feel like I must be at the bottom of my pit. That the possibilities are in fact limited and I have viewed them all. It is at those times, when I press onward, that I am rewarded. It seems that lately, the possibilities for further dating opportunities are coming out of the woodworks. Everyone knows people right? We all have a network of social acquaintances that are often broadened by our interactions with each other. Many of the people we know or are exposed to also know other single people. Connecting with people is so important to our social lives as well as to our progress in the dating journey.

So, while I do not currently have the next date set up, I do have more possibilities in the works. My sister knows some people with a son. A teacher at one of my schools has a son. There are still two more single men from the other blog, just waiting to be set up with me. I have a guy friend with two single, older roommates. Yes, the list goes on. And I intend to make use of the list…despite my current despair at the quality of men I have lately been associated with. Okay, that is not completely true, I have a couple of guy friends that really are quality and we have had some deep and interesting conversations lately. Thank goodness for them…they restore my faith in the male intelligence level and help me to press onward, hoping to find a match of their caliber…only one that is interested in dating me! 


Growing Up Skye said...

You are totally right about everyone being different! To prove this, look at me and my husband. I was one of those people who wasn't looking for marriage--I totally didn't want to get married yet--but love found me anyway and I wasn't going to say no the man who was right for me when he very unexpectadly came along. However, it didn't happen that way for Lance. He WAS looking for a wife. He TRIED like you are trying. He even went so far as to go back to school down at SUU in his early thirties, hoping he'd find a wife. Now, you can either call that desperate or you can call him totally smart because he ended up finding one of the coolest girls in the world (me!!!) to marry! Marriage found me when I was least expecting it, and it found him when he was looking for it and trying to make it happen! So if any weirdo out there tries to tell you you are wrong or desperate for doing things the way you feel is right for you, remember they are just that--a weirdo and you can simply feel sorry for them!

Growing Up Skye said...

I also forgot to mention something else I thought of after reading this post. The great thing about your approach versus sitting around doing nothing is that you are learning and growing in the process. You are learning more about yourself, men, relationships, and what you want in a man and future relationship. That is so much more meaningful!

Livin it up said...

Thanks as always Tacy! I love the way you put your story into perspective. That's so cool!! And as I reflect on my practices...I think that for the most part, I am tactful and fairly laid back, therefore making me not desperate! Besides, I know plenty of people filling that role for me! Haha..