I have now had my heart significantly broken three times in
the last year. Ugh! I guess the more you date, the higher the chances of such
an occurrence. Still, it doesn’t make it any easier. I just hope that this is
the last time. They say things come in three’s right? Well, I’ve experienced my
three with a few smaller disappointments along the way. Can I just be done
now??
I was going to post last week about Valentine’s day. It went
okay. But now it’s over and so is my relationship. He just wasn’t the right guy
for me and I knew if for a long time, I just didn’t want to do anything about
it. I finally got up the courage this weekend however. It’s over. Even though I
did the breaking up, I still feel really heartbroken. Crazy huh! You just can’t
win in the dating game!
I know the drill though. Time is really the only cure. Time,
tears, and goals. It helps me to focus on my future, to stay active, and to do
my best to find hope for my future when it always seems rather hopeless just
after a relationship. I was talking to a friend about this yesterday. We
decided that it really doesn’t take long to be with someone and wonder what you
did before you met them. I felt that right away with Mr. Boyfriend. It was like
he had always been in my life. I liked having him there, yet I really want for
much more than what we had. I promise I am justified in what I am thinking and
saying and those closest to me felt the same way, but I had to make the
decision to end it for myself. I just don’t like talking about it much.
The first thing anybody asks when you break up is, “what
happened?” I do it too. But I don’t like explaining to others. I just want to
move on. I want to wake up in the morning and not have to re-live the
disappointment and have to remind myself to be brave and hopeful...and to get
past fresh tears that I thought I had moved beyond the day before. The thing that gives me the most courage to do
that is knowing that breaking up with him opens me up to finding the guy who
will be right for me. Who will be more than just nice to be with, but will be a
good match…a good partner. I know it won’t always be easy but still…I do look
forward to meeting him! And hopefully soon! And would it be too much to ask at
this point in my life for him to be rich?? :-)
