What About Me?

After a few months of thought and revision about my goals, I think that I have found what works best for me in the diet area. I had a few set-backs and my weight has fluctuated between the same couple of pounds for quite some time. I’m ready for it to just go down already! Anyway, as I mentioned previously, I like to take things from different places and learn what I can about being healthy. I’m pretty skeptical about most diets but I think that after quite a bit of research and education in the area, I’m fairly confident in my ability to discern between healthy and unhealthy. I also previously blogged about a diet book that I just read that is not really a diet book. It is titled, “The Gabriel Method.” I decided to give some of its principles a try despite the fact that what I had been doing for the last year was working for me. Suddenly I became confused and wanted to alter my diet because I thought that it would fit in better with my lifestyle over a longer period of time…like my whole life. Sometimes I struggle with the fact that my weight battle is a life-long endeavor. Anyway, I’m trying to make it livable.

After going nowhere with my weight loss goals, I have recently decided to figure out how to incorporate the ideas in The Gabriel Method with what I was already doing. I listed what I was doing on the sidebar but some of those things have changed slightly. For starters, I drink as much water and liquid as I can, but I don’t always get in 64oz. In fact, I rarely do. I just have a hard time drinking and I also seem to posses the smallest bladder on earth. It’s something unique about me. Anyway, I drink when I can. As far as multi-vitamins go, I am more selective about what I take. I usually have an Omega 3 every day, a Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc pill daily and something that Jon Gabriel suggested was taking a probiatic. This last one I purchased at the health food store for quite a large sum of money but I’m pretty sure it works wonders with me. What is it? It is something that helps you use the nutrients in your food. Most of our food is really lacking in nutrients and the reason we always feel hungry is because we don’t get our nutrients. This little pill of wonders just helps you to better digest your food and use it.

About the food, I haven’t been the greatest but have decided to go back to once a week with my sugar. It’s all I need really. Of course, if occasion permits, then I sometimes cheat during the week. I’m trying to be better though. Since our food lacks nutrients, I’m trying to go a little more organic. I have started with some produce, like organic bananas. I also buy farm-fed chicken eggs with omega 3 and less hormones in them. They are more expensive but better for me. I like the fact that my body is getting a little more of what I need and less of what I don’t need!

Aside from dieting, I also like to work out. Okay, some days I like to work out. Not all days! Most of the time I just go to the gym and do about 45 minutes of cardio and some weight lifting, mostly focused on my upper body where most of my fat likes to hang out. I’m what you called a ‘tomato on toothpicks’ shape when I get fat. Anyway, some days I also go for walks with my mom in the neighborhood. Some days I am just tired and lazy and do nothing…that is okay! I try not to make a habit of not doing anything but I don’t want to kill myself by forcing myself to have to work out 6 days a week for at least an hour. I try to get in good workouts when I can, which is most days. Relieving some of the stress also helps. I hate feeling guilty about not making my goals so I had to make them more attainable.

Finally, a little piece of the Jon Gabriel Method that I have incorporated is his meditation CD. You are supposed to listen to this when you are going to sleep at night. You can download it for free off of his website. I listen to it a lot of nights. It’s just about relaxing and visualizing your weight loss and things like that. It certainly can’t hurt right? For me I feel like it even helps. Sometimes I am okay with the way I look and other times I am so envious of the really skinny people. I need to be okay though, in case I am stuck here forever! Just kidding, I will lose some more…just not sure how much.

Oh, and one more thing. I have been feeling totally off this game this week and crappy about myself. I think it’s time for some intervention! Next week I have an appointment to get my hair cut…always a self-esteem booster. I think I will schedule a facial at the spa as well. My mom and I gave this to each other for Christmas so we are going to go together. Seems like good therapy to me! And if you know where #6 is hiding, please let me know! Thank you very much.

Seeking in Salt Lake City

Location: Speed Dating

Have you been wondering what I did last night to find some new men in this town?? Well…I tried speed dating! I have seriously been considering it for quite some time but was unsure of where to go to find this type of activity here in Salt Lake City. However, a friend of mine recently informed me of an upcoming speed dating activity happening with her church where several people were invited. They were expecting about 200 people. I was pretty excited because I knew that I would be meeting men of my own faith, which is important to me, but I would still be able to try the elusive activity known as speed dating. They always portray it in movies as something for desperate people but I think that it could be an efficient way to meet a lot of potential men. So, I decided to give it a try.

Before leaving for the dating/finding event, I had planned all day on getting ready for the evening by being on my game and by looking fabulous of course. It was just one of those days though; you know the kind that you just don’t feel like doing anything?? The day seemed to drag on and on and by the time I finally arrived home from work, I was so tired that I did not want to do my planned work out and then get cute. Instead, I ate a lot of food and took a nap! Ah, the good life. By the time I was supposed to be getting ready, I had to really find the will power deep within me to do something with myself to look presentable and to try and find a happy face hidden somewhere deep inside my frown. I did what I could and off I went.

Don’t get me wrong, I was totally excited about the event. I had planned in advance for it. I remembered reading in Dr. Phil’s book that you should create a 30 second sound bite about yourself. This is something that you can use when you meet people for the first time. It’s good to have something to say. I figured that this would come in handy for an event like this, so I came up with a good introduction for myself and had it running through my head all day in preparation. I’m not sure why the day left me tired and grumpy, but it did. Still, I’m glad I got myself out the door to do something.

Okay, back to the part about meeting mass amounts of men. When we first arrived on location, there weren’t a whole lot of people hangin’ around. I was a little worried. It did not take long for the place to fill up however. Good sign. I was nervous though. I looked around sizing up the competition and realized that I had just thrown myself into one of the biggest meat markets ever. I felt uncomfortable and slightly awkward. I had to keep these feelings in check and shake ‘em off so that my ‘date me’ vibe could shine through. Finally, it was time to begin. They told us where to go and sit, so my friend and I went and sat down hoping it would get everyone else started doing the same thing. Mistake number one. There were several lines of chairs facing each other and as they began to fill up, it was only sporadic in location, with several empty chairs in between. I looked down the row that we had chosen and felt increasing regret as I assessed the incoming flow of men. Not good!

As we began, I had no one sitting in front of me. Finally a brave young man came and took his seat opposite me. That was nice of him but young he was. I later found out in fact, that he was only 19…yikes. I feel like a child molester! Don’t worry, we didn’t exchange any info and any physical contact was completely unsolicited and accidental. Okay, next. Next we have the 30 year old weird, weird man. He didn’t say much. He smiled. He looked creepy. He had an unnecessary comb over; you know the kind where the part begins down at their ear but they have so much hair that in the long run it just ends up all poofy (could be his lack of product)? Unfortunately they were still figuring out how to run this thing and had no way to tell us when to rotate, therefore me and mister smiley had to chat for quite some time. I carried the conversation as I’m pretty sure he has never spoken to a girl in his life. In fact, I’m pretty sure he hasn’t spoken to many people besides his mother. The end.

Next…I’m not sure who was next, but I’m pretty sure it was the guy who didn’t have a name tag on the front of him. The first thing I did was ask him if he was too good for a name tag. Then he proceeded to whip out what he thought was a pretty manly move, where he turned his upper body to show me his name tag on the back of his shoulder. Somehow he felt that this was some way to flex and show his so-called muscles. Even after I inadvertently rolled my eyes and pointed out to him that I rolled my eyes, he continued to try his flexing moves to show some sort of hidden muscle beneath his womanly cardigan. He was bigger alright, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t muscle. He was definitely no Hercules. The line continued on from there, one after another. Short and balding, over-zealous military man, the guy who farted when he walked past me earlier, etc., etc.

Apparently luck was not on my side at this event. I didn’t find one instance where I felt like using the sound bite I had prepared. What I did get out of it however, was a sore throat from yelling over everyone else, just like I do for work all day. I carried just about every single conversation, further increasing my annoyance at men who do not take initiative. Sometimes I’m just tired of being the one to make all of the effort. I will continue though…I have to if I want to find success. It just gets old sometimes.

As a whole, it seems like the event could have been put together a little more efficiently. Oh well, it was good practice getting out there, learning to deal with creepy guys, or to talk to them anyway, and to step out of my comfort zone and enter the meat market without completely losing my sense of self. I kept my composure. One of my guy friends told me afterward that he waited until most other people were seated, and chose his destination from there. He was smart and scoped it out first. Well, lesson learned, next time I try speed dating, I will not be the first to sit down. Realization: none of the hot guys that were scoping wanted to sit in my row. Story of my life!

I Love Men!

Yep, it’s true, I really do. I am grateful for my man friends. I don’t know what it is about them but, they are just different to talk to and fun to hang out with. They come up with crazy things to talk about or to do, and mostly I just love getting attention from them! Haha…everyone needs a little male attention from time to time right? Also, it’s nice to be able to have light shed on the male species in a non-threatening setting, you know what I mean? When you are just friends, it’s easy to see into their world, learn how to converse with them, and learn what it is that you do that will get their attention. I am good at being friends with guys. I think we have established this already. Bring it on #4; I can be your friend any day. It’s the dating part that I’m not so good at. Anyway, I had a good day yesterday, talked to Gentleman #1 and his friends quite a bit, as well as the rest of the guys at church. They are fun friends that usually get me laughing so, good times! Hopefully we will be playing basketball later this week which will allow me to not only hang out with them, but to work on my goal to be more involved with sports.


In the long run however, I’m not looking for friends; I’m lookin’ to get married! I totally had a dream last night that I went to the temple and there were brides EVERYWHERE. I was a little annoyed. The place was overrun with them. Don’t worry though, I wasn’t one of them. I was on the sidelines looking in. They all seemed to have some sort of catastrophe happening. Oh well, their problem.

Anyway, what I was getting at is that I have a fun finding plan scheduled for tonight so make sure you check in tomorrow to find out what it is and how it went. I’ll give you a small hint about it. I have never done it before but I have seen it done in movies. It’s something that I have been wanting to try for a long time. You intrigued? Good…then stayed tuned because I am on the prowl for #6. I haven’t heard back from #5 so I’m moving on. Seriously, how does one get a second date?? Been a mystery my whole life I guess. I’ve been on very few. Okay, Nice Guy and Superman would have taken me out again I’m sure, but how do you get a second date from a guy you’re actually interested in? I’m going to keep working on that and let you know later. Wish me luck tonight because I am tired and feeling nothing even remotely close to a vibe. I must find my inner vibe…I must!!!

Man #5

Sit back, relax, grab a snack because I have a story to tell. Wow. Let me start with earlier in the day, before the date was to take place. I decided to show this guy that I was nice and would work with him a little. I felt bad for having him drive so far, so when I texted him with my address I mentioned this, and that I would be happy to meet him somewhere closer. He was very grateful for the suggestion and took it. We decided to meet at Olive Garden. Obviously the one we went to is not that close to my house; it’s on the other side of town. Keep that in mind. Okay, I spent the rest of the day just preparing…making sure to get my work out in, studying up on the Cardinals, and making myself pretty.

As I was about to arrive at the prearranged destination, I received a text from Man #5 declaring that he would be 10-15 minutes late. He apologized and all was well. I called him upon my arrival to see if he wanted me to go in and get us a place in line because the place looked busy. As I did so, I got my special little buzzer to tell me when our table was ready and joined the crowd of other hungry socialites waiting for a seat. I glanced up and guess who I saw only a few feet in front of me?? That’s right, it was Not So Super Man #3. Yikes!!

I totally dissed him the other day and there he was right in front of me. He appeared to be on the phone and I decided that was probably a good idea, so I stepped out between the double doors and called my sister with the news. How awkward! He was watching me because every time I looked inside, I felt and saw his eyes on me. I was a little creeped out. Finally he decided to make his way out to where I stood, lonely and waiting…but on the phone. Don’t even worry though the part about me being on the phone did not stop him from trying to talk to me. Finally I had to say goodbye to my sister and talk to this man who does not get subtle hints; nor obvious ones.

The conversation was unsurprisingly slightly awkward. He asked AGAIN if I bought him anything while out shopping last weekend. I told him I bought things for the house. He related to me that he was waiting for a date that he had been set up on. Then he proceeded to ask if I was meeting family or friends or what. I said, “yeah, I’m meeting a friend.” Then I just came out with the truth and told him my friend had set me up. Just when I was pretty sure this couldn’t get any more uncomfortable for me, I was saved by his buzzer. That’s right…he was buzzed. He was a little flustered because his date hadn’t showed up yet but off he went. I hope for his sake (not hers) that she did show up. Poor guy. Poor me. I prayed and prayed for Man #5 to show up because Not So Superman said, “are you my setup?” Ewww no! He was hoping I guess. I was not.

Anyway, just as I was verging on complete breakdown, in walks Man #5, only a half an hour late. First impression: he looks a lot like one of my older brothers; a mix between him and Chris Farley. Still, I approached him, gave him a hug and dove right into conversation. It was pretty good. We didn’t have much problem talking at all. Once we were seated we continued to converse quite well. Next impression: not only does he look like my brother and Mr. Farley, he has very similar mannerisms and temperament. Don’t get me wrong, I love these men; I just hadn’t ever considered dating them. So, I wasn’t really attracted to him but he was nice. I didn’t mind talking to him, for the most part. Oh, and when we talked about baseball, he was totally impressed by my Cardinals knowledge. I threw a couple of facts in there so smoothly you all would have been so proud. His eyes seriously lit up when I threw ‘em out and he got all excited. Then when he asked if I watch baseball, I felt really bad because I don’t. I was just cheating! Oh well, it was still fun to catch him off guard like that!

Overall, the food was good, the conversation wasn’t too bad, and he was gentlemanly enough. He was quick to grab the check when it came which was nice of him. After we ate, we sat and chatted for awhile longer until the conversation finally winded down. At that point we walked outside, talked a little more, and then he walked me to my car. As it turns out, we both drive the same brand of car. When he mentioned this I thought, ‘oh…he is the first guy that doesn’t drive a truck. That’s too bad.’ Oh well, I can forgive him! He gave me a hug and sent me on my way.

Once again I know I’m not supposed to judge from just the first date but if I’m being honest…can I see myself with him? No. Would I go out with him again if he asked? Yes. I would be happy enough to give him another shot. I just honestly think that we are different, despite him agreeing with me about everything I said. I realize now why the experts say not to do that with men…it really is kind of boring. Anyway, he was really nice and seemed like a pretty good guy so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how this one plays out.

On The Horizon...

I’ve been holding out on you. That’s right I have date #5 tonight!! So, the other day this guy called me. Remember a long time ago when my friend said he worked with a pretty cool guy that is 30, single, and willing to be set up? Well, that guy FINALLY called! He’s the one who likes baseball and that’s all I know about him…or knew until he called. We talked for over 40 minutes on the phone so I know that we can converse okay. He lives kind of far away but he’s coming to pick me up for dinner tonight nonetheless. He seems pretty cool but I really hate to make any judgments before I meet him in person. My google searches have been unfulfilling on this one so I guess we’ll just have to wait until tonight. Meanwhile, I’m actually going to study my questions, come up with more for him since we’ve already talked, and read up on what’s going on in the sports world because he’s a fan.

Other Updates:

Well, I haven’t heard from #4 in awhile. He doesn’t get online that often and is probably trying to avoid me, I don’t know. Not so Superman texted me the other day. I was nice and texted back a few times but when he asked me what I bought him while I was out shopping, I knew I had to draw the line and cut that conversation right there. I haven’t mentioned Gentleman #1 in awhile. He’s great. We talk all the time. I think that we are better friends now, since we went out. That’s all it is though and I’m okay with that now. He’s a fun kid and I like being his friend.

As for you…I am SOOO proud of my friends! I keep hearing success stories of several of you putting yourselves out there and taking chances. That makes me so happy. We can do this! All of us!! And those of you who have already achieved this seemingly insurmountable task of finding a husband/spouse…we appreciate your support. Well, wish me luck tonight and pray that he’s not a real weirdo!!

The Institute Saga Continues...

Despite the fact that most of you did not comment, I still knew before setting out on my way to Institute last evening that you were holding me accountable, waiting in anticipation for a full report of the night’s events. With that in mind, I picked up my friend and with determination in my step, I set out for institute. Class was great as always. My teacher is such an inspiration to me…so perfect for me in my life right now. I’m glad that I found her and have the opportunity to learn from her each week. Looking around my class, I didn’t find too many prospects for #5 so I thought I would just wait for the treats and visiting afterward.


Speaking of the mingle, it consisted of…food, boys, friends, hunting, and bold acts of courage. Let’s start with the food then, shall we? Tonight they served up rice crispy treats and hot chocolate. After my weekend of dieting purely on sugar, I decided that I needed to put my health plan back in place this week, and that sugar once a week would suffice plenty for my future needs. Therefore, the treats this week were sadly unacceptable for me. Oh well, what can you do?

As I stood around with my friend taking in the scene before me, the prospects were pretty undesirable. My friend decided to take the first leap and talked to a boy who slightly resembled your stereotypical serial killer. I know, she’s a bold and brave woman. Almost as soon as he opened his mouth she wished she had been a little more shy. I didn’t join the conversation and saw almost immediately that I needed to separate myself from this catastrophe. I left the room in search of other mingling opportunities. All I came up with in the end however, was my friend, who had found a way to ditch the creepy guy, and another friend who had just showed up.

After perusing the room several times, I was beginning to feel desperate. I made a goal; I promised you that I would do it! I had to talk to at least one guy, even though my goal was two. I saw a lone man near my group of girls. We exchanged several glances. For quite some time I contemplated my move. He was half way between us and the treats. I finally decided to sacrifice one goal for another and headed for the hot chocolate to break away from the safety of my girl group and talk to the lone man. Almost immediately upon breaking from the group, I realized that my sacrifice was going to be in vain. He had apparently decided that he had waited long enough and took off in the same direction I was headed. I didn’t want to run after him calling out, “WAAAAIIIIT!!” He was too far in front of me. The only thing for me to do was to obtain the hot chocolate and circle the entire group once again, hoping for someone I had missed.

When nothing new caught my eye, I returned to my circle of friends, dejected, depressed, and discouraged. I knew however, that I could not admit defeat just yet. When I set my mind to something and determination moves me, there is no stopping me. Just as I was contemplating what to do and considering (only slightly) accepting defeat, a fairly good-looking guy came, dropped off his Ensign right by where I stood, and left just as soon as he came, to play the great sport of basketball. I could not even get one word out. His friend then came and dropped off his Ensign as well.

A thought, a crazy thought, entered my mind. What if I wrote him a note in his Ensign?? I ran it past my friends who thankfully didn’t think (or at least didn’t express aloud) that I was too crazy. So I finally decided to take a leap and do it. Just as I was about to however, my old friend that I had run into the first week came by. We chatted with him for quite awhile. As we did so, the room emptied out significantly. Yikes, what was I supposed to do….he could totally see me stalking his Ensign now. I decided to take my chances anyway and write a quick note. Wow…just in time too. As soon as I put the pen down, suddenly he and his friend appeared, right there. I just walked away into the hall. My friends stayed and watched him though (where were they when they were supposed to be keeping a look-out for me?? Apparently we forgot to establish a code word for when they (the guys) reached close proximity…oh well). As it turned out, I had the Ensigns mixed up. His friend said, “I put my Ensign under yours.” Dang it!!! Wrong guy! And as my friend pointed out, what if it’s his mother’s Ensign?? I hope some mom doesn’t call me up wondering why I wrote in her Ensign, “Hey, I wanted to talk to you but you were playing basketball,” signed with my name and phone number. I guess we’ll see how this all turns out. What a mess!

I was about ready to give up and go home after that little stunt but as we walked out into the foyer, we noticed a large gathering…and food. Where there is food…there are men. There seemed to be plenty of them so we scoped out one or two who might be safe to meet. They were preoccupied however, so I continued my hunt until I spotted a few guys sitting together in the chairs on the side of the room. I decided to take ‘em all on! That’s right, 3 in one shot. I was definitely getting my quota last night. I told you, when I’m determined, I’m determined! It was fun chatting with these nice fellows. They weren’t much younger than me and were good conversationalists. When I finally concluded that the conversation was going nowhere productive however, I said my goodbyes, see ya arounds, and headed back toward my friends, elated at my success of overcoming my fears and putting myself out there. I don’t know if I’ll see those guys around again but they were nice and I wouldn’t mind. At the same time, I don’t know that I’m willing to put much effort into making it happen with these ones.

Wow, what a crazy night. Crazy, but I feel like it was productive. Thanks for pushing me, even though you didn’t comment! Feel free to leave your comments in the future and to follow me. It makes me feel like I’m doing this for a reason, more than the ultimate reason of course, which hasn’t worked thus far in my life. Plus, it makes me feel less alone in the process and we all know that the process can feel very lonely at times…most of the time!!

Shopping!

I had a fun weekend filled with shopping. Yep, that’s about all I did for my long holiday weekend. It was so great to spend time with my mom and a little with my dad as well. I needed a little family time and as I like to remember, shopping is “retail therapy.” I know I always feel a little better after spending some money. I currently live with my parents because the house I own is unoccupied in Southern Utah, so we’ve been redecorating the house. Home décor is one of my favorite things to shop for. We had a lot of fun and went all over the place. As it turns out however, there are not a lot of single, available men in these types of stores. If there were one, I think I’d marry him on the spot, but most of the men there have been dragged out by their wives. No good for me. Even still, I had a fabulous time.

The weekend is over now and as reality sets back in, I realize that I am in somewhat of a rut. I have no prospects for future dates and no hope for any kind of relationship with the previous four. Where is #5?? Seriously, sometimes I think that finding one date is as hard as trying to find Waldo. I guess the mingle after institute tonight is my best bet at finding the one who might become #5. It’s always worth another shot. This time…more courage! I HAVE to put myself out there and force myself to speak to strange men. Or normal men more preferably, that I have not yet met. I’m posting this on here so that I will do it. I can’t just make a goal in my mind…I have to be accountable, so make me accountable! This process is about taking chances…there is no room to sit back and be a spectator in this process. If I want things to happen in my life, I have to make them happen. I heard a commercial on the radio earlier that said something like, “tired of the way you look? Then do something about it.” To myself I said, “tired of your single status? Then do something about it.” In preparation, I have been studying up on expert advice and hoping for the best tonight. I’ll make sure to post an update tomorrow!